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Joined: Jun 2005
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http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13583322The Magic Vanished (Neil Cotton) He mesmerized women Used wit, smiles and song The spell won’t last forever It fades away like fog He’d been a home run hitter Vacuum at third base Gambled on the outcomes The Hall won’t call his name They had lived charmed lives But the magic vanished Unreal for a short while But the magic vanished The magic vanished Their lips were on fire A friend joked get a room The love flame flicked Both want someone new They had lived charmed lives But the magic vanished Unreal for a short while But the magic vanished The magic vanished The coral reefs are beautiful Till seas heat more than they should They had lived charmed lives But the magic vanished Unreal for a short while But the magic vanished The magic vanished
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Hi Neil.
What a great story--I get it especially growing up in Ohio and a Red's fan in the 60's 70's especially. Nice melody too. I wouldn't mind seeing you tweak the 2nd Bridge line to something like "until the seas got too warm." Getting hot or getting warm makes a less both a literal statement and common expression as well. JMO.
Cool song!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Ed, thanks for stopping by...good that the melody is working...yes the bridge is not great I must work on it....
There was beauty in the Coral Reefs But they've bin scarred by growing heat
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 06/10/17 10:34 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Hi Neil:
I listened yesterday and enjoyed your song. Like most of mine, there are places here and there that could use a little TLC but the "bones" of it are strong and the melody works quite well. Please never take my thoughts as an attempt to be "snarky." I want to provide you with the assistance I needed several years ago... and still do. (None of us are perfect!)
Try to avoid repetition when possible (choruses being the exception) and always review the entire package as though you are a New York Art Critic... LOL! Our pal Eddie gives the best reviews of anyone at JPF. Just so you know, most of the songs in my catalog have been recorded, then re-recorded by me after I've listened for a day or two. A few years back when I was actively pitching my songs, I was fortunate enough to correspond with a west coast publisher who would flail me unmercifully at my feeble attempts at songwriting and recording. Little did I know, she was only trying to prepare me for what lay ahead in the "Biz."
You have much talent, my friend... even if you are a "Reds Fan!"
----Dave
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Hi Neil:
I listened yesterday and enjoyed your song. Like most of mine, there are places here and there that could use a little TLC but the "bones" of it are strong and the melody works quite well. Please never take my thoughts as an attempt to be "snarky." I want to provide you with the assistance I needed several years ago... and still do. (None of us are perfect!)
Try to avoid repetition when possible (choruses being the exception) and always review the entire package as though you are a New York Art Critic... LOL! Our pal Eddie gives the best reviews of anyone at JPF. Just so you know, most of the songs in my catalog have been recorded, then re-recorded by me after I've listened for a day or two. A few years back when I was actively pitching my songs, I was fortunate enough to correspond with a west coast publisher who would flail me unmercifully at my feeble attempts at songwriting and recording. Little did I know, she was only trying to prepare me for what lay ahead in the "Biz."
You have much talent, my friend... even if you are a "Reds Fan!"
----Dave Dave thanks for the encouraging remarks...I appreciate them, as I sit in my solitude of creation, not knowing if I'm actually communicating with the outside. I will keep doing. Probably I should spend more time than I do, on re-writes
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