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#1128330 06/08/17 05:56 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
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http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13583322

The Magic Vanished (Neil Cotton)

He mesmerized women
Used wit, smiles and song
The spell won’t last forever
It fades away like fog

He’d been a home run hitter
Vacuum at third base
Gambled on the outcomes
The Hall won’t call his name

They had lived charmed lives
But the magic vanished
Unreal for a short while
But the magic vanished
The magic vanished

Their lips were on fire
A friend joked get a room
The love flame flicked
Both want someone new

They had lived charmed lives
But the magic vanished
Unreal for a short while
But the magic vanished
The magic vanished

The coral reefs are beautiful
Till seas heat more than they should

They had lived charmed lives
But the magic vanished
Unreal for a short while
But the magic vanished
The magic vanished

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Hi Neil.

What a great story--I get it especially growing up in Ohio and a Red's fan in the 60's 70's especially. Nice melody too. I wouldn't mind seeing you tweak the 2nd Bridge line to something like "until the seas got too warm." Getting hot or getting warm makes a less both a literal statement and common expression as well. JMO.

Cool song!

steady-eddie.

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Ed, thanks for stopping by...good that the melody is working...yes the bridge is not great
I must work on it....

There was beauty in the Coral Reefs
But they've bin scarred by growing heat

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 06/10/17 10:34 AM.
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Hi Neil:

I listened yesterday and enjoyed your song. Like most of mine, there are places here and there that could use a little TLC but the "bones" of it are strong and the melody works quite well. Please never take my thoughts as an attempt to be "snarky." I want to provide you with the assistance I needed several years ago... and still do. (None of us are perfect!)

Try to avoid repetition when possible (choruses being the exception) and always review the entire package as though you are a New York Art Critic... LOL! Our pal Eddie gives the best reviews of anyone at JPF. Just so you know, most of the songs in my catalog have been recorded, then re-recorded by me after I've listened for a day or two. A few years back when I was actively pitching my songs, I was fortunate enough to correspond with a west coast publisher who would flail me unmercifully at my feeble attempts at songwriting and recording. Little did I know, she was only trying to prepare me for what lay ahead in the "Biz."

You have much talent, my friend... even if you are a "Reds Fan!"

----Dave

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Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Hi Neil:

I listened yesterday and enjoyed your song. Like most of mine, there are places here and there that could use a little TLC but the "bones" of it are strong and the melody works quite well. Please never take my thoughts as an attempt to be "snarky." I want to provide you with the assistance I needed several years ago... and still do. (None of us are perfect!)

Try to avoid repetition when possible (choruses being the exception) and always review the entire package as though you are a New York Art Critic... LOL! Our pal Eddie gives the best reviews of anyone at JPF. Just so you know, most of the songs in my catalog have been recorded, then re-recorded by me after I've listened for a day or two. A few years back when I was actively pitching my songs, I was fortunate enough to correspond with a west coast publisher who would flail me unmercifully at my feeble attempts at songwriting and recording. Little did I know, she was only trying to prepare me for what lay ahead in the "Biz."

You have much talent, my friend... even if you are a "Reds Fan!"

----Dave

Dave thanks for the encouraging remarks...I appreciate them, as I sit in my solitude of creation, not knowing if I'm actually communicating with the outside.
I will keep doing. Probably I should spend more time than I do, on re-writes


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