10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill),
4,088
guests, and
270
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652 |
I haven’t been here much, lately. Thought I would share a song I wrote and produced last week on what would have been my 44th wedding anniversary. 44 Years Agohttp://www.badbetsy.com/new_original/s/forty_four_years_agoForty Four Years Ago Verse 1 44 years ago No one thought that we would last that long We could always prove them wrong. Cause we were in love Verse 2 44 years ago we took a vow that we would never break Through all those years and heartaches. We stayed in love. Chorus We made each other laugh as we talked all night We made each other cry but always apologized and said I love you. Solo Chorus Here I sit writing another song Wishing you hadn’t gone away I love you. I miss you. I need you. Verse 3 44 years ago I had no idea how lucky I was You stuck with me through all my fears and flaws 44 years ago today. 44 years ago today.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Good to see you back, Iggy. I can sense the emotion in this very personal message.
My only sugg is arrangement wise, maybe the chorus needs another look at to give it a little lift.
Vic
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,126 Likes: 29
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,126 Likes: 29 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652 |
Thanks Vic for the welcome back. If I were going to do something commercially with this song, I definitely would use your advice in improving the dynamics of the chorus. But nah…. It was just written for therapy. Candy for my brain.
And…thank you Martin for the listen and the kind words. Very much appreciated.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831 |
Hi Iggy:
Poignant, sad, interesting and very personal. Loved the message and the song. It left me with a few questions... but that isn't a bad thing. Sometimes a song needs to make the listener think and compare. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
Iggy-
Truth laid down in a personal song, sets upon a pedestal, waiting to be discovered by some one with the same story!
My love is now 55 years young and still counting--we married before the BEATLES came over--For some reason, it doesn't seem that long ago!
Dave is a few years ahead of me. TEXANS LOVE LONGER, probably because of those HOT, HOT, CHILI PEPPERS!
Iggy I love this song!
Write on!
Mackie
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Iggy,
i really like the Piano work in this strong--very full sounding. The refrain of "44 years ago" gives the song some nice structure. And I really like the nice use of additive harmony on the “I love you” in the chorus. Very killer lead guitar to accentuate--wish I was good enough to play like that. On the lyrics--and maybe I'm missing something, but seemed to me a little inconsistent in spots--e.g., why “wishing you hadn’t gone” in the second chorus when the second and third verse say “we stayed in love” and “you stuck with me” respectively? Just a thought for you to take or leave as you may. But a fun listen and great little tune. Enjoyed it.
Best regards,
Deej
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652 |
Mackie, thanks so much for the kind words and the listen. Wow 55 years! You’re right it doesn’t feel that long. God bless you!
Hi Dee J. My wife of 44 years (+3 years going together) passed away in late February. Our 44th wedding anniversary was May 12th. I was dreading that day coming knowing I’d be lost in my memories wondering what I should do. Get drunk? Go somewhere (all alone)? Well I guess the powers beyond me reached out to occupy my mind and keep me busy. I awoke at 3 AM, May 12th with this song. Instead of going back to sleep I lay there for a few hours and kept adding lyrics, hearing chords, etc. Six AM on my anniversary day, I started to lay down the tracks, lyrics and vocals. Thirty-six hours later I finished. I uploaded it to my site and fell asleep for twelve hours. God or my wife found a way to keep me busy.
I appreciate you taking the time to listen and respond. Thank you.
Last edited by Iggy; 05/24/17 03:10 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
My parents had you beat by 11 years. They were married 55 years before my dad passed. My mom passed about 3-1/2 years later. They had retired to Florida while I remained up here near Chicago, but I went down for a visit at the time of their 50th anniversary in 1990. At the time I told them that I didn't feel that there will be too many golden anniversaries celebrated among my generation or the younger ones for many different reasons including trending toward later marriage and increased volatility and changes in life in general.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Iggy,
Lovely song and sentiment. I always enjoy your melodies especially. I had a couple small sugs should you be interested in taking it back to production.
Always nice seeing you in the threads!
steady-eddie.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652 |
Thanks Eddie,
I always respect and appreciate any suggestions you may have. Suggest away!
Thanks, too, for the listen and the kind comments.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Iggy,
I always dig your song's vibes. I've actually changed my first opinion on how the opening verse should launch. I went back and listened again and again. I feel that you initially on that first verse should start higher on the "44 years ago" to create kind of a "reverse build." For me after the intro, that opening line to me should be up (not sure of the note & may require chord change. -- (Analogy Beatles "Something in the Way)." This to me launches the more anticipated note with the music and will empower going down on the next "44 years ago."
I agree with Vic on the chorus, but also don't think this is a "chorus driven" song--the verse melody is really the dominant aspect--which is fine for this song -- but I'd like to see after the solo a little more (music launch or drum launch) to what your 2nd chorus--which to me is a "Bridge." Within that Bridge pan a dominant harmony to give it some more dynamic identity--this is kind of the climax of the song IMO. The other production sug would be to "strengthen the small percussion kick especially for enhancing "drive" and maybe add a little more snare presence as well. Hi-hat is fine. Use or lose!
I really like this song, nice work Iggy!
steady-eddie
Last edited by E Swartz; 05/26/17 12:14 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Hi Iggy, I like this pretty much as it is, compositionally, though Eddie and Vic do present some cool and interesting ideas. To me it's a slow burn kind of ELO ballad. If anything, my sug is to maybe (if you're feelin' it) try adding a contrapuntal melodic line that weaves in and out, between the vocals, in the latter part of the song, maybe starting with verse three, and keeping with the feel, maybe make it something like that string section playing with a crisp staccato instead of legato, and more prominently in the mix. The mix sounds like it could use a little brightening as well. Beautiful song. Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/27/17 06:07 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
I like this a lot. I agree with Vic about the chorus, but it didn't spoil my appreciation. A simple, heartfelt message delivered with sincerity and a similarly simple (and good) production. Nothing not to like here.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,652 |
Mike thanks for listening and replying. I delayed getting back to you because I had to look up the words contrapuntal and legato! The Beatles used contrapuntal melody lines numerous times so I’m really digging that idea. Something I’ve never done.
Thanks, also to Gavin. I really appreciate your time to listen and respond.
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|