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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/04/24 12:47 PM
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457
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It's been a while since I've completed a song. In the last few days I've made the effort to complete a couple of songs that have been lingering for the past 4-5 months. Hope you will give a listen ... Thanks! https://soundcloud.com/j-fleming-2/i-wish-i-could-helpI once knew a man who ... worked his finger to the bone Just to keep his family ... in their high class home He had no time for fun ... working night and day One morning he woke up ... blew himself away. I wish I could've helped him but what could I do I wish I could've helped him to see his way through I once knew a woman ... so battered and bruised The only life she ever knew ... being beaten and abused She just couldn't leave him ... she loved him so much One too many beatings ... and she never woke up I wish I could've helped her but what could I do I wish I could've helped her to see her way through I see the homeless people ... living out there on the street beg for food and money ... from the people that they meet Runaways and addicts ... all society's outcast broken lives and dreams ... running away from their past I wish I could help them but what can I do I wish I could help them just to see their way through
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18 |
Hi Jimmy,
Nice pickin' and a fitting minor key sound for this serious lyric. The vocals could be EQ'd brighter, imo, but this is raw and moving as is.
Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91 |
You can help them lol!!!!!
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513
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Haunting Americana-folk number. I really liked the guitars in this song.
The music is good, and your production skills have improved by leaps and bounds. The vocals are okay, too, but I feel you can deliver an even better performance.
Production-wise I love the stereo placement and interplay of the different guitars. Well done! The vocals have a mid-EQ issue needing a cut somewhere around the 600Hz range. A bit more 'air' on the vocal would be nice, too.
Overall, good song, and production.
Peace, TC
Last edited by TC Perkins; 04/01/17 04:16 PM.
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Jimmy,
What a really nice song. I enjoyed this'n--I agree with TC, nice guitar combo balance. One small thing, and could just be my opinion, I would like to hear you use "saved" on the 2nd (helped him/her) lines. I think the two together feels even more compassionate as well as adding a little more story build. Just food for thought--use or lose!
Sweet song here Jimmy!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: May 2015
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Hello Calvin ... thanks so much for taking a listen and the kind words ... much appreciated!
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457 |
Hi Jimmy,
Nice pickin' and a fitting minor key sound for this serious lyric. The vocals could be EQ'd brighter, imo, but this is raw and moving as is.
Mike Hello Mike ... thank you for listening and I appreciate your input very much!!!
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457 |
You can help them lol!!!!!
Thanks for the listen!!!
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457 |
[/quote] Haunting Americana-folk number. I really liked the guitars in this song.
The music is good, and your production skills have improved by leaps and bounds. The vocals are okay, too, but I feel you can deliver an even better performance.
Production-wise I love the stereo placement and interplay of the different guitars. Well done! The vocals have a mid-EQ issue needing a cut somewhere around the 600Hz range. A bit more 'air' on the vocal would be nice, too.
Overall, good song, and production.
Peace, TC
Hello TC ... thank you very much for listening ... I truly appreciate your opinions and input ... thanks again for your help!!!
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457 |
Jimmy,
What a really nice song. I enjoyed this'n--I agree with TC, nice guitar combo balance. One small thing, and could just be my opinion, I would like to hear you use "saved" on the 2nd (helped him/her) lines. I think the two together feels even more compassionate as well as adding a little more story build. Just food for thought--use or lose!
Sweet song here Jimmy!
steady-eddie.
Hello Eddie ... thanks for taking a listen to my song ... I really appreciate your input and opinion ... thanks again!!!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
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hey Jimmy,i like this a lot.The music reminds me of Velvet Underground stuff. Mike
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 457 |
hey Jimmy,i like this a lot.The music reminds me of Velvet Underground stuff. Mike Hey Mike ... thanks for the listen and the kind words ... much appreciated!!
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