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#1125639 - 03/21/17 10:05 AM Love, there is No such Thing  
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91
Trollboy 1 Offline
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Trollboy 1  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91
Any feedback welcomed with open arms...in other words make this better.


Crystal crawled out of the necklace
She swore she had heard the bells ring
But sweet sally had to break it her
Saying honey, love, there is no such thing

Crazy dave always wore the finest silk
And a bad joke he always seemed to bring
But the worst one he ever did tell
Was when he said laove, there is no such thing

Vile Valery was always out tramping around
But I never saw her wearing a grin
Some say that’s because shes always knew
That lover, there is no such thing

Banker Bob was never short on change
His favorite catchphrase was caching
He always smiled untile he realized
That love there is no such thing
Yeah, love, there is no such thing

#1125802 - 03/25/17 01:42 PM Re: Love, there is No such Thing [Re: Trollboy 1]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,280
beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,280
Villa Park IL
Don't really know quite how to analyze this one and what was meant by the catch phrase and title. Other than maybe a captcha for those looking to find the real life equivalent of Utopia or Brigadoon. This is the best way for me to interpret this one. Could also be a refrain for saying that there are times when we must be unapologetically ourselves.

#1125838 - 03/26/17 11:31 AM Re: Love, there is No such Thing [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91
Trollboy 1 Offline
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Trollboy 1  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91
Any interpretation is fine. At the time I was thinking simply that there is no such thing as love.

#1125853 - 03/27/17 03:41 PM Re: Love, there is No such Thing [Re: Trollboy 1]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 437
arealrush Offline
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arealrush  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 437
wichita, ks
I would disagree with your premise about love but my experience is not yours! I don't hear this as a song at the this time more of a refrain about love. You examples are a bit cryptic beyond the original first line of each verse. I think I would make the examples more relatable and more defined and use the chorus to reiterate your feelings about love! Hope that helps because it just my opinion.

#1125887 - 03/28/17 10:09 AM Re: Love, there is No such Thing [Re: arealrush]  
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91
Trollboy 1 Offline
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Trollboy 1  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 91
Appreciate the feedback. I wrote this in one straight block without edits. It certainly needs tightening but I like the vagueries to an extent.

#1126149 - 04/03/17 01:32 PM Re: Love, there is No such Thing [Re: Trollboy 1]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 208
John Paragreen Online content
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John Paragreen  Online Content
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 208
Scotland
Hi, I like the title/idea, but I'd prefer it used in a true sense of feeling, like someone who is going through a break up or at loggerheads with a partner,
the structure you use makes it hard to read and the people sound a bit cartoonish for me,
But for a straight ink to paper it's well done
all the best,john


please vist
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=429802
to hear my lyrics recorded by musicians world wide
#1126295 - 04/06/17 09:28 AM Re: Love, there is No such Thing [Re: Trollboy 1]  
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,222
Lynman Bacolor Offline
Lynman Bacolor  Offline

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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,222
Caloocan, Philippines
blake
this more of a poem to me. the rhyme with the ing is in every last line. still needs a deep analysis to make this more palatable and make it a staandard commercial lyrics. but i agree with the vagueness of certain idea like the concept of love. peoplle will flock from everywhere just like the early alchemist who wants to turn other metal into gold that turns out to be a hoax. goodluck
lynman


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