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#1124632 - 02/26/17 09:45 PM My Girl and Country Music  
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Toby Barns Offline
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This is a song I wrote called "My Girl and Country Music".

http://tobybarns.com/my-girl-and-country-music-song/

The music and melody came first, and then I started writing it as an exercise in crafting country style lyrics.

#1124638 - 02/27/17 10:01 AM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Martin Lide Online content
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Nice song Toby. Is that you doing the lead vocal? The vocals and feel of the tune cause me to recall the Everly Brothers.Ricky Nelson era. Liked it.

Martin

#1124643 - 02/27/17 11:24 AM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Martin Lide]  
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Thanks for the feedback Martin. This demo is not me singing, I have utilized so many different wonderful singers over the years.

The production does have more of a classic or traditional, country pop feel; not so much contemporary. The lyrics do give a tip-of-the-hat to some real classics.

#1124655 - 02/27/17 05:32 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Ray E. Strode Online content
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Ray E. Strode  Online Content
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Hi Toby,
Your song sounds a lot like what is coming out of Nashville at present. Having listened to
Country Music from the early 50's I would put your song pretty good but a lot of other' s
are also.
If you wish to listen to some of my songs look for New Web Site on the Industry Board.
Here's hoping things will be looking up this year!


Ray E. Strode
#1124664 - 02/27/17 10:47 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Ray E. Strode]  
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Toby Barns Offline
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Hi Ray thanks for listening to the song. I wanted to keep the lyrics planted in country roots, with a really upbeat feel.

Yes I agree there is no shortage of good country songs out there. That's okay; I keep on writing and working on the craft.

I will listen to your songs, take care!

#1124669 - 02/28/17 01:16 AM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Toby,

Really enjoyed listening to this--very upbeat, catchy tune with some nice lines lyrically. Good luck with this one.

Deej

#1124674 - 02/28/17 05:58 AM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Kevin YSC Offline
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Solid country music effort ... whoever the vocalist is, he has an excellent voice ( a little like Glen Campbell)!

Kevin

#1124683 - 02/28/17 12:13 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Deej56]  
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Toby Barns Offline
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Hey Deej - glad you enjoyed the listen and thanks for the feedback!

#1124684 - 02/28/17 12:26 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Toby Barns Offline
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Hey Kevin thanks for the feedback. I think Glen was actually a Beach Boy for a short stint, kind of neat...

#1124729 - 03/01/17 03:22 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Toby,

You eschew clever in favor of something really heartfelt, and that's fresh in an upbeat number like this. A really good "good time" song that is straightforward and conversational and also kind of self-reflexive in that it had me doing what the singer descibes--it got stuck in my mind. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1124762 - 03/02/17 12:08 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Marc Barnette Offline
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One of the things you might consider in the future writing is DETAILS. What kinds of boots, jeans, what SONGS of country music? Using specifics, WHAT time your sitting in traffic, names of trucks, (again another pretty cliche' theme there) names of roads or highways, etc. And of course, one of the problems in songs like this are using words that are more or less red flags. "Girl" "COUNTRY MUSIC". Again, having names, are always a much more specific, "My Mary reminds me of "whatever." We're in a much more detailed world now due to the Internet and people's experiences, so making it more personal and dynamic usually will up the level of the lyric.

MAB

Last edited by Marc Barnette; 03/02/17 12:09 PM.
#1124763 - 03/02/17 12:11 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Marc Barnette Offline
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Might listen to the songs of Eric Church or Sturgell Simpson as a guide for current lyrical and musical direction.

#1124764 - 03/02/17 12:20 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Marc Barnette Offline
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Toby, as an example of what I am talking about, listen to this guy's song. He is getting a lot of attention without a record deal. I'm ambivalent about the song, it's not bad, but does have a level of detail that is important.


http://search.aol.com/aol/video?q=Arron+Watson%2C+Vaquero&s_it=video-ans&sfVid=true&videoId=7E833C5ADE79BAD715E87E833C5ADE79BAD715E8&v_t=keyword_rollover

#1124765 - 03/02/17 12:21 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Marc Barnette]  
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Little_stevie_b Online content
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Originally Posted by Marc Barnette
Might listen to the songs of Eric Church or Sturgell Simpson as a guide for current lyrical and musical direction.


Eric Church came from Granite Falls, NC. which is 5 minutes from my house. I never knew him as he was just another local kid but my wife, Sherri met him a couple of times and said he's a good guy who hasn't forgotten where he came from.

Stevie

#1124772 - 03/02/17 02:35 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Marc Barnette Offline
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Once again, proves my point about being out IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD. These artists and writers Are EVERYWHERE, and too many people miss them because they are all focused on Nashville, New York or LA. Imagine if you had gone to see him several times six or seven years ago when he was playing bars, coffee houses, doing the open mics and writers shows. And then actually got to write a few songs with him. How would your standing be now?

All I'm saying. Thanks for proving my point.
MAB

#1124883 - 03/04/17 06:41 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Marc Barnette]  
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Toby Barns Offline
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Hey Marc - I am curious about one point you mentioned. It is that mentioning "country music" in the the song is a red-flag.

What I mean is, this song is aimed directly at the country music market. Now, if a song is written in a non-specific genre, then yes I agree that putting the words "country music" in the lyrics or title would be a red flag.

Within the lyrics of this particular song though, there are several respectful references (not copies) to some historic, legendary, huge country classic songs.

For instance:

"angel in a honky-tonk"

"Stands by her man"

"Walkiní around after the midnight"

"friends out in places low"

"The pieces fall together"

That was my idea behind the song; to have a modern day song which reminds the listener of several historic classic country songs.

So to me, it seems fitting for this particular song to basically SCREAM country music including in the title because that is the whole point of the song.

So I have been trying to figure out how a red flag for mentioning "country music" applies to this particular song, I can't figure it out!

#1124917 - 03/05/17 12:38 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Marc Barnette Offline
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Toby,I just did a rather lengthy answer to your question on one of the other threads you did, but I'll do something else here.

It's the word "COUNTRY." What you are trying to do is make people KNOW it is COUNTRY without mentioning that SPECIFIC WORD. That is what I mean by RED FLAGS. It is a method we use (And what I mean by that are mostly NASHVILLE WRITERS)
called "SHOW, DON'T TELL." It is a process by which we get the LISTENER to draw the conclusions of it with out having to state the obvious. If you use songs, that are ABOUT country, you don't have to SAY it's "COUNTRY."

Here is a recent huge hit song that has done similar things, yet done them in a very interesting way:

Maren Morris' "MY CHURCH"

[Verse 1]
Iíve cussed on a Sunday
Iíve cheated and Iíve lied
Iíve fallen down from grace
A few too many times
But I find holy redemption
When I put this car in drive
Roll the windows down and turn up the dial

[Chorus]
Can I get a hallelujah
Can I get an amen
Feels like the Holy Ghost running through ya
When I play the highway FM
I find my soul revival
Singing every single verse
Yeah I guess thatís my church

[Verse 2]
When Hank bring the sermon
And Cash leads the choir
It gets my cold, cold heart burning
Hotter than a ring of fire
When this wonderful world gets heavy
And I need to find my escape
I just keep the wheels rolling, radio scrolling
Until my sins wash away


Okay, she could have just said "I love to drive down the road with COUNTRY MUSIC BLARING!!! She didn't. She made references, basically in the second verse, but it really was just a part of the BACKDROP of the song. The song is not about COUNTRY music, as much as it is about GETTING IN THE CAR, SHUTTING OUT THE REST OF THE WORLD and being in a place that is HER OWN CHURCH. It makes the references to church, Sunday, cheated and lied, fallen down from Grace, Redemption" etc, words that MEAN the same thing, but in a different usage. There are references all the way through it, and the artists, HANK, CASH, etc. are just PART OF THAT. It also uses the images of Hank and Cash in different ways:
"
It' Gets My Cold Cold Heart Burning
Hotter than a ring of fire..."

While those are well worn lyrics, on some of the best known country songs, they are used in a little different way.

DETAILS. Used in a way that we don't hear quite as much. Then the music is really soulful, really driving and gets everyone singing and clapping. This is a WILD FIRE of a song, and now many people are trying to EMULATE IT. So if you are thinking about writing your own, you can probably put that one on the back burner as well.

The point is that you really have to work on finding different ways to say things. It's hard. And even if some things are done over and over again, you understand the mentality behind it. It has as much to do with being in a society of people all trying to do the same things. With all these songs, artists, writers, etc. they all are out there. It is the constant quest to find that twist, that turn, that place that most people just didn't see.

And that's the hard part.

MAB

#1124922 - 03/05/17 01:27 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Solid production and vocals, I like that stopping effect in the verses

Only weakness for me is that it seems to run into the chorus too fast. It might be a matter of adding another measure to build anticipation, cause it's like the last words of the verse are not even out yet or resolved, and the chorus Is already started.

I enjoyed it.

#1125400 - 03/15/17 11:16 AM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Toby Barns Offline
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Hey thanks for sharing the feedback!

Mike - Thanks for the positive thoughts!

Marc - Thanks for all the great information and perspective!

Trentb - Thanks for your observations. I tend to lean towards the up-beat songs so I guess things can fly-by pretty quickly!

#1125416 - 03/15/17 12:51 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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After reading all of the post my impression is that it is one of the best songs I have heard in a while, my take being a softer version of the some of the rockabilly songs of the late 1950s and is a throwback to that style. Reminds me a little bit of one-hit wonder Robin Luke's "Susie Darling" as one example. And much of the music of that era is still popular today and has never really died. Would like to invite you to check out some of my writings over on the SoundClick site. Peace.

#1125571 - 03/19/17 09:22 PM Re: My Girl and Country Music [Re: Toby Barns]  
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Toby Barns Offline
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Hey beech - thanks for the feedback!

The song seems to remind a lot of folks of the late fifties, early sixties era you mention.


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