Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65 |
I had some friends who just couldn't find happiness with each other but refused to part ways for 20-plus years. Sad to watch. https://soundcloud.com/user-482925652/for-better-or-for-worseFor Better or For Worse They pledged their love forever, standing well within god’s sight After dearly beloved, all they do is fight Compromise is a foreign word neither understands, Anger is the glue that holds this woman to this man. Chorus Fences draped in barbed wire, walls of jagged glass, They built them high around their hearts so neither one could pass When they speak of wedding vows it’s though they were a curse Living in their misery, for better or for worse Nothing blocks the doorway out, yet neither one will leave As happily ever after grows much harder to believe Pointed fingers dripping with such venom and such blame They wrap themselves in jealousy, they wrap themselves in pain Chorus The children helped to bring a truce, of course it didn’t last In love and war although you try you can’t out run your past. Now broken dreams are strewn across their manicured front lawn Despite the fatal wounds to both the battle rages on. Chorus
"Well alright" - John Hartford
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,169 Likes: 29
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,169 Likes: 29 |
I always look forward to what you write and the way that you come at it. "Fences draped in barbed wire, walls of jagged glass, They built them high around their hearts so neither one could pass" That really gets your point across quickly and graphically. I think that I knew the same couple. I knew them for 22 years and they were married for 24 in what I can only describe as a stalemated psycholgical death grip. They also inspired me to write a song that is along the same lines. If you care to listen.... https://soundcloud.com/user-560839147/10-west-sunset-6-let-s-talk-again-in-heavenAlso...I like your pic on SoundCloud a lot. My personal opinion is that the highlights are too bright and it would be mood-ier if they were dimmed. If you like, send me the pic and I'll PShop it. Freeby. If you don't like what I do...throw it away. martinjamesband@gmail.com Back on point. Nice writing. ps...one little lyric suggestion...."living in their misery for better or for worse" might align better and still echo the phrase as "living in misery, not for better, but for worse."
Last edited by Martin Lide; 03/18/17 12:29 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65 |
Howdy Martin,
Thanks for the kind input. I LOVE "Let's Talk Again In Heaven". I swear you MUST have known the same people as I. Very, very poignant song. As for the picture, that's just something i "borrowed" from some website.
"Well alright" - John Hartford
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
JamesE,
This is a sweet sounding song--sad, but really well done. Agree with Martin the first two lines of the chorus--brilliantly written. The little I can add--assuming you are open to taking suggestions--is to think about tense in the first verse. For example, should the second line read, "After dearly beloved, all they DID WAS fight"? BTW, ". . . strewn across their manicured front lawn"--nice stuff.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65 |
Deej56, many thanks. About tense, I guess I say "Do" because they are still married and all they do is fight. My wife and I can't figure these two out. Sad as hell, and No I won't be playing this for them. As for the "manicured front" lawn, he is a grounds-keeper and has the perfect lawn, and he is much BIGGER than me.
"Well alright" - John Hartford
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,754
Posts1,161,305
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|