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#1123510 - 01/31/17 12:32 PM "Vanity Fair"  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65
JamesE Offline
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JamesE  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
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I've known several women drawn in by some very nasty men...this song is about them.

https://soundcloud.com/user-482925652/vanity-fair


Vanity Fair

Behind his gleaming smile and there when he touched your hand
Hidden up the sleeve of his tailored suit and beneath his golf course tan
A master of the perfect crime as the evidence has shown
You didn’t even know that you’ve were cut ‘til he striped you to the bone

Vanity fair, you’re lost deep in a dream…. trick of the light things are never what they seem

Turned your back on those you loved, when your status quickly soared
Drunk from the thrill of being with him and the complements he poured
The mirrors in his eyes had you assured the world was all about you
Then he dumped your heart by the side of the road and you found it wasn’t true

A friend or two who still remained sounded the alarm
But you so enjoyed all the Oohh’s and Aahh’s as you dangled from his arm
Condescension raining down as you sat upon your throne
The palace walls soon crumbled when he dropped you like a stone

Remember the days you walked on air high above us all
Balanced on a diamond ring convinced you’d never fall
But the winds did shift at his command and you tumbled far below
Your hunger made you realize you reap just what you sow.


"Well alright" - John Hartford
#1123512 - 01/31/17 01:16 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: JamesE]  
Joined: Dec 2006
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niteshift Offline
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Sydney, Australia
Hey James,

Welcome to JPF ! smile

Yeah, I think it's all working fine. I see you are noted as a "folk singer" but this song could easily translate to a number of genres.

It's got that Celtic lilt at the moment, but I can easily see it produced in a number of different ways.

Lyrically it tells the story well. Especially like the line "Hidden up the sleeve of his tailored suit and beneath his golf course tan", it's a winner.

Musically, it's a tad repetitive, but easily fixed with a fuller instrumentation and I'd suggest a small repose here and there to let it breathe.

Very listenable story telling.

cheers, niteshift

PS - if you change your avatar to your real and/or stage name, you'll get a better response as folks will go "that's James, the folk singer' smile


#1123525 - 01/31/17 09:08 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: niteshift]  
Joined: Dec 2016
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JamesE Offline
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JamesE  Offline
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Niteshift

I appreciate the feedback! Yeah, I MUST spend a little more time in the studio, oddly enough I worked in a recording/production studio for 25 years in Philadelphia yet I now just grab a Zoom H-1 and do one or two takes! Go figure!

Many thanks for the great input
James


"Well alright" - John Hartford
#1123528 - 01/31/17 11:16 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: JamesE]  
Joined: May 2001
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Little_stevie_b Offline
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Little_stevie_b  Offline
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Hi James. You have a pleasant folk style going. I agree with Nite in that it could go in several directions arrangement wise were you to decide to add some ambience to the acoustic/vocal. Glad your here. I think you'll like the folks.

Stevie

#1123574 - 02/01/17 07:08 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: Little_stevie_b]  
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JamesE Offline
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Yeah, I think the folk feel is a result of my upbringing...I was raised on Hank Sr. Cash, then found my own way to Dylan, Prine, Baez, oh, and my mentor and friend Hartford the list goes on.

Last edited by JPE2016; 02/01/17 07:13 PM.

"Well alright" - John Hartford
#1123595 - 02/01/17 09:34 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: JamesE]  
Joined: Jun 2006
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Jim Colyer Offline
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Jim Colyer  Offline
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Nashville, Tennessee usa
Originally Posted by JPE2016
Yeah, I think the folk feel is a result of my upbringing...I was raised on Hank Sr. Cash, then found my own way to Dylan, Prine, Baez, oh, and my mentor and friend Hartford the list goes on.


I hear your influences. Great lyrics and a very clean recording.

#1123780 - 02/06/17 02:08 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: JamesE]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,852
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
I've come to really enjoy listening to your songs, James. Your voice and guitar playing match this style perfectly. The imagery in this lyric is vivid and clever. The overall idea of the story is fresh and interesting.

If I had to pick at something it would be the arrangement of your lines. You have 4 verses and for a folk song like this that's OK, but there is no progression in the song as a whole. Each verse starts out showing us how great he is, how taken she is and then ends with him doing something bad to her. We know the whole story after V1 and, although well written, each verse after that is redundant and tells us nothing new.

Just a suggestion, but what if you include in V1 only positive lines when she's feeling good and he's good to her. Then, after the foreshadowing of the chorus, V2 would be where you bring in some doubts as to his intentions. Then V3 could show us the damage he does. In V4, the only thing left to say would be the hard lessons learned.

Of course then you'd have to make everything rhyme again but the song wouldn't be static anymore. It would have some forward movement. As I said, just an idea. Looking forward to more of your songs.

Ricki

#1123792 - 02/06/17 03:56 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 65
JamesE Offline
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JamesE  Offline
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Posts: 65
Howdy Ricki,

Thanks for all positive feedback. Interesting observation on the "story" and how to more it forward. The story is actually a composite of 3 women, so as I wrote it the different verses ended up reflecting the 3 different women and their particular experiences with the jerks they hooked up with.

I like your suggestion and no doubt I'll certainly play around with this one and see what falls down on the page.

James


"Well alright" - John Hartford
#1123814 - 02/06/17 11:08 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: JamesE]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Texas
Hi James:

Yeah, what Ricki said! Your vocal delivery certainly has a "folk" vibe... but, as others imply, this could work in other genres.

Best of luck with your music.

----Dave

#1123815 - 02/06/17 11:08 PM Re: "Vanity Fair" [Re: JamesE]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,302
Texas
Hi James:

Yeah, what Ricki said! Your vocal delivery certainly has a "folk" vibe... but, as others imply, this could work in other genres.

Best of luck with your music.

----Dave


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