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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 45
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Posts: 45
New poster on this site.

Hit a raccoon a couple of years ago with my Toyota Yaris. My daughter helped out with this lyric (2nd verse came up short by 6 lines, and she had some great ones!).


Talkin' Raccoon Stink-eye Blues

John Smyth / Leah Smyth

[v1]
I was driving home one Saturday night,
cutting through the dark with my headlights,
when a big ol’ raccoon, he crossed my line.
I was looking at him, he was looking at me,
coz we both knew we were about to be,
in the same space, at the same time.
Now Schrödinger’s cat did disappear,
but Einstein made it pretty clear,
that ‘round here things don’t work that way.
By the time I decided to steer,
he was goin’ for the guardrail like a white-tailed deer,
somehow I still hit him, hey hey.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.


[v2]
I centered that car, and tried to save him,
as my hatchback Yaris tried to shave him,
‘bout that time, he put up a fight.
He took out my radiator,
like some kind of “Wild Kingdom” gladiator,
on my dashboard, he put up every light.
That car of mine did stutter and grunt
as she rolled over her own front,
those damn plastic parts, they always crack.
I pulled over to the side,
picked it clean of hair and hide,
and threw my front bumper in the back.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.


[v3]
I returned to the scene, I’m not sure why,
I guess I hoped that he didn’t die,
but if he did, there was nothing I could do.
Maybe drag him off the thoroughfare,
bow my head and say a prayer,
but I didn’t need to, coz he pulled through.
He glared at me from across the road,
his face in total stink-eye mode,
all pissed off, and waitin’ on his turn.
For those who’ve never seen the stink-eye,
it’s a cross between a scowl and pink-eye,
‘cept on crack. Man, I could feel his hatred burn.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.




[v4]
When I got home, I surveyed the damage,
it was much too much for me to manage,
so I called that State Farm girl one more time.
She said “your insurance lapsed last week,
you’re uninsured even as we speak,
and that means honey, we don’t pay a dime.”
I hung up the phone without much drama,
see I’ve come to appreciate that sort of karma,
afterall, I brought this on myself.
The next two days were nasty weather,
but I put that piece of junk together,
with my blood sweat and tears, and all my wealth.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.


[v5]
Now there comes a time in every talkin’ blues song,
where the singer tells where he went wrong,
and how he’s made amends, and paid his dues.
Keep your car insured, keep it on the street,
don’t run over what you won’t eat,
and you won’t get these Raccoon Stink-eye Blues…


Uh huh, yeah… hey hey...

Last edited by vtoutlander; 11/22/16 08:22 PM.
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i really enjoyed this critter of a song.You and Leah got it goin' on!Mike

Joined: Apr 2008
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This is laugh out loud material and, I would bet, a real hit at a live show. Well done! Hope you stick around and share more songs and your own thoughts on other's music. Welcome to JPF.

Ricki

Joined: Sep 2013
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John,
Engaging and unique!! Cool story and so well told...full of great "Tom Robbins" images and absurdity! I really enjoyed it!

iggy2

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Originally Posted by vtoutlander
New poster on this site.

Hit a raccoon a couple of years ago with my Toyota Yaris. My daughter helped out with this lyric (2nd verse came up short by 6 lines, and she had some great ones!).


Talkin' Raccoon Stink-eye Blues

John Smyth / Leah Smyth

[v1]
I was driving home one Saturday night,
cutting through the dark with my headlights,
when a big ol’ raccoon, he crossed my line.
I was looking at him, he was looking at me,
coz we both knew we were about to be,
in the same space, at the same time.
Now Schrödinger’s cat did disappear,
but Einstein made it pretty clear,
that ‘round here things don’t work that way.
By the time I decided to steer,
he was goin’ for the guardrail like a white-tailed deer,
somehow I still hit him, hey hey.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.


[v2]
I centered that car, and tried to save him,
as my hatchback Yaris tried to shave him,
‘bout that time, he put up a fight.
He took out my radiator,
like some kind of “Wild Kingdom” gladiator,
on my dashboard, he put up every light.
That car of mine did stutter and grunt
as she rolled over her own front,
those damn plastic parts, they always crack.
I pulled over to the side,
picked it clean of hair and hide,
and threw my front bumper in the back.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.


[v3]
I returned to the scene, I’m not sure why,
I guess I hoped that he didn’t die,
but if he did, there was nothing I could do.
Maybe drag him off the thoroughfare,
bow my head and say a prayer,
but I didn’t need to, coz he pulled through.
He glared at me from across the road,
his face in total stink-eye mode,
all pissed off, and waitin’ on his turn.
For those who’ve never seen the stink-eye,
it’s a cross between a scowl and pink-eye,
‘cept on crack. Man, I could feel his hatred burn.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.




[v4]
When I got home, I surveyed the damage,
it was much too much for me to manage,
so I called that State Farm girl one more time.
She said “your insurance lapsed last week,
you’re uninsured even as we speak,
and that means honey, we don’t pay a dime.”
I hung up the phone without much drama,
see I’ve come to appreciate that sort of karma,
afterall, I brought this on myself.
The next two days were nasty weather,
but I put that piece of junk together,
with my blood sweat and tears, and all my wealth.
Uh huh, yeah… hey hey.


[v5]
Now there comes a time in every talkin’ blues song,
where the singer tells where he went wrong,
and how he’s made amends, and paid his dues.
Keep your car insured, keep it on the street,
don’t run over what you won’t eat,
and you won’t get these Raccoon Stink-eye Blues…


Uh huh, yeah… hey hey...


"threw my front bumper in the back" and "it’s a cross between a scowl and pink-eye,
‘cept on crack" Hahaha!
I like the way you think...and the way you pick.
Loudon Wainwright fan?

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Posts: 7,831
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Welcome to JPF, Mr. Smyth:

This is an exceptional write and performance. Too many clever lines to mention... but a total pleasure to sit back and listen. The only thing better would be to hear a live performance in a quiet little coffee house or bar, packed to the "gunnels" with appreciative fans. Much talent in all directions. Thanks for sharing 'cause I really enjoyed it.

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
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Welcome to JPF, nice to meet you.

VERY ENTERTAINING--thanks for sharing your cool talent.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Joined: Apr 2002
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Welcome to JPF, nice to meet you.

VERY ENTERTAINING--thanks for sharing your cool talent.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Joined: Jan 2010
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Posts: 45
Thanks Mike!! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Ricki, thanks for the welcome. And you are right, this is high on the request list when I'm playing a show. I'm glad you like it.

Iggy, thanks for the kind words. I didn't know who Tom Robbins is, but I googled him and found a bunch of witty quotes of his on line. Cool stuff. Thanks man.

Kurt, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed. I am a Loudon Wainwright fan too.

Dave, I'd love to get a live recording as well in a bar. Unfortunately, my field recorder isn't that great, and my board doesn't record. I'm recording a studio CD right now, and I banged this one, and another one out live just me and my guitar one day. My producer liked them both enough that he suggested we use them as-is.

Calvin, thanks for the listen. I'm really glad you enjoyed it!


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"Fun! Fun! Fun! Nothing else to say other then welcome to the Board and I will be looking forward to listening to others of yours.

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,235
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Hey, I remember you from the Muse board!

Sounding good. Love the guitar sound you have. Picking sounds really nice.

Don't run over what you eat..good advice.


http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
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I liked your picking, your talking and your lyrics - so what else is there to say - this was a great way to come back to the JPF forum with a big smile. thanks --Pete


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