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RogerS Offline OP
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Here is our latest works in progress Scott and I are working on. Any feedback for music or lyrics would be greatly appreciated. Thanks as always,
Roger

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=13460297&q=hi&newref=1

21st Century Drama Queen Roger Sosnowski/Scott Miller
Verse
She has a run in her hose, got a pimple on her nose 
Black coffee stain on her blouse, lost her keys in the house 
All she wants to do is shout
Her boyfriend looked at her strange, she missed her manicure today
One Life to Live didn't record, cracked her nail on the keyboard
All she wants to do is complain
Nothing ever goes her way

Chorus
Cause the littlest things make her scream
And that apple pie sweet turns down right mean
She's a modern day Dr jekyll and Ms. Hyde
Whatever you do don’t get on her bad side
Cause she reacts like a match in gasoline
She’s a Twenty First Century Drama Queen
She’s a Twenty First Century Drama Queen

Verse 2
She used to be care free, like a southern summer breeze
no matter what was going down, she was fun to be around
Now that ain't what she's all about
She’s got too many problems now

Chorus
Cause the littlest things make her scream
And that apple pie sweet turns down right mean
She's a modern day Dr Jekyll and Ms. Hyde
Whatever you do don’t get on her bad side
Cause she reacts like a match in gasoline
She’s a Twenty First Century Drama Queen
She’s a Twenty First Century Drama QueenWith her I guess ya never know
What will make that powder keg blow

Bridge

With her I guess ya never know
What will make that powder keg blow

Chorus

Cause the littlest things make her scream
And that apple pie sweet turns down right mean
She's a modern day Dr Jekyll and Ms. Hyde
Whatever you do don’t get on her bad side
Cause she reacts like a match in gasoline
She’s a Twenty First Century Drama Queen
She’s a Twenty First Century Drama QueenWith her I guess ya never know
What will make that powder keg blow


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
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Hi Roger and Scott:

This has a comfortable, Retro feel to it... and I sure like it. The vocal was perfect and the backing worked it's magic. Remind me to give that girl a "wide berth." Best of luck with "Drama Queen." ----Dave

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Nice tune.

I suggest starting the song off with V2. Summarize the theme first.

I'd rework some of the aspects of her that make her a drama queen in V1. I think that some of them are not relatable or descriptive enough to paint the person that you imagine for a listener.

Martin

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Hi,

This has got an Eaglesy easy flow that carries the story along...I like the groove..I might change the mix of instruments up a bit between the verses and the chorus to make it stand out. Nice work!

iggy2

Last edited by iggyiggy; 10/04/16 07:01 PM.
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Solid country song!

This song has a really great chorus. The only thing that struck me was that the meter in this vocal line in the chorus seems off - 'She's a modern day Dr jekyll and Ms. Hyde'

Other than that, the song is coming along nicely. I have a request - put some electric guitar licks in there!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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Roger, I hear a lot of influences, notably Dylan. You have a strong hook. I like it.

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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Dave,

Sorry for the long delay in my response. Thanks for taking time to give this one a listen. We're working on some fixes--hopefully will be out with it soon. Thanks again


Roger Sosnowski
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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Martin,

Thanks for giving this one a listen and your comments. We are revising this one and should hopefully have the new version out shortly. We sent it in for a professional critique and as you can imagine we received some suggestions from them as well. Thanks again


Roger Sosnowski
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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Iggy2,

Thanks for taking your time to listen and leave comments. Glad you liked it for the most part. We are working on a new version. Stay tuned,lol.


Roger Sosnowski
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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi TC,

Thanks for the comments. We did pick up on not only that line but the keyboard line as well--sounds a bit rushed. We are working on fixes to smooth the song out as a whole. Thanks again


Roger Sosnowski
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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Jim,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. Sounds like you like it. As I've said in other responses--we are working on some fixes and will have a new version out soon. Thanks again


Roger Sosnowski
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Musically? Right on. Only switches I might make lyrically are:

She used to be care free, like a southern summer breeze
no matter what was going down, she was fun to be around
Now that ain't what she's SEEMS [near rhyme with breeze]
She�s got too many problems now

She's a modern day Jekyll and Ms. Hyde [Believe that the Dr. is not needed to tell us who she is here.]

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

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Hi Roger. I like the way this is going. When you say 'feedback on lyrics' how far shall I go.... you know me lol

I don't understand the line
One Life to Live didn't record, cracked her nail on the keyboard

anyway on my first look, I offer the following, keep or sweep.

------
She's got a run in her hose, and a pimple on her nose?
Coffee stain on her blouse, and lost her keys in the house?
Her bloods on the boil, and all she wants is to shout
Her boyfriend looks at her strange, like he thinks she's deranged
---------------

shall I carry on

God Bless Roy and Helen


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