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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Joined: Apr 2009
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This is my latest demo. Inspired by a conversation I had with a coworker on a job during the 1990s. Talks about her lifestyle conversion, although she herself said it wasn't totally accurate. http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/player.cfm?type=single&songid=13481840&q=hi&newref=1STILL DREAMIN’ She used to stay out a night Boy, how she really loved to party But now she’s in bed by nine And she’s up at four-thirty After working all day Making corporate decisions She has no energy left For really getting acquainted She used to go along with plans That were made for her Even if they were with someone She’d never met before She’s still dreamin’ Of a better way to be She’s still dreamin’ Is it all a fantasy She’s still dreamin’ While tied down by reality She’s still dreamin’ She longs to take up a hobby Which provides quiet enjoyment But she’s already creative In the realm of employment There’s someone in her life So she’s not really lonely But still she’s quite gun shy About a formal ceremony By day’s end she may have reason To begin thinking about Just how many of the headaches She could really do without She’s still dreamin’ Of a better way to be She’s still dreamin’ Is it all a fantasy She’s still dreamin’ While tied down by reality She’s still dreamin’ She was called on to contribute To a charity function But she couldn’t donate talent So she sent a contribution Nothing is going as she planned Changes are being forced on her If she can keep an open mind It could all be for the better So she thinks she may discover That she should change her ways Cause she’s getting too old For all these twelve hour days She’s still dreamin’ Of a better way to be She’s still dreamin’ Is it all a fantasy She’s still dreamin’ While tied down to reality She’s still dreamin’
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Joined: Aug 2006
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Hey Beechnut...
Nice tune you have here. Your vocals are spot on!
If I were to nit this at all it would be to say that the wording is a bit too descriptive and makes the song much longer than it needs to be. You could shorten it a bit by playing with the phrasing and even trimming some of it out.
Very good start. Keep goin'!
Peace,
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,162 Likes: 29
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Truly enjoyed listening to this song. Very nicely presented.
There's a couple of spots where the words moved along a little roughly. Metaphorically speaking...like a jeep might roll slowly across small boulders in a drive river bed.
But...overall it was very clean and pretty and well done. Wish I had your range.
Martin
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Hey Beechnut,
I don't think I've heard one of your songs--very nice indeed, well structured. I loved the PC, works very well. It sounds like you are finished with production, and this is a good one. My only small idea or thought, (should you bring it back in production) would be to maybe insert a very short interlude after the chorus before jumping so quickly into the verses--it's certainly ok, but I think with this vibe and the "chorus lyrics," a pause there would give the listener time to feel a brief feeling of "reflection." Use or lose.
Really nice guitar tones and great tenor vocals a bit like Vince Gill would sound.
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 90
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Lovely production, great job.
I love the vocals and you've captured a great guitar sound. The chorus is very strong and there are some good ideas in the lyrics. Some time spent polishing the lyrics so that they "flow" better would turn this into something truly special
Kevin
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Joined: Apr 2009
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Thanks for the feedback on this. It is, as all my others are, demo recordings and not my actual voice on them. For those who said they hadn't heard any of my stuff, I am enclosing a link where you can find the dozen I have had demoed so far. Soon to be a bakers' dozen. www.soundclick.com/brianbeecher
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Hi Brian:
Not much for me to add other than I really enjoyed this song. Great title and melody coupled with a theme most of us understand quite well. Your vocalist and guitar player really performed this nicely. I did not "time" the song but suspect it is a tad long due to the many lines and verses. As the others have said, "It needs to be whittled down a bit," to make it easier to remember all the lines and stay closer to the three minute model.
Never doubt that you delivered the message of the song... and quite well. This one has a great deal of potential. Grind away at it.
All the best, ----Dave
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