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#1116559 - 09/30/16 10:02 PM JUST GO  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
WNY, USA
JUST GO
1.
Standing tall, made to last
As a courtesan, she's the very best
He won't find another like her
She draws him and he loves her like no other

(pre chorus)
She's your go to, fills you, takes you in, and thrills you
Seducing you any way she can.

(chorus)
She's a camp high in the hills
Lights his eyes on fire like a carnival thrill
Hunting gear, fishing poles and don't forget the compound bow
I want to make him happy so I say "just go"
2.
Count the days till the season starts
Help him pack oh yes will do my part
Plenty of beer and tons of food
He'll come home as good as new.

(pre chorus)
She's your go to, fills you, takes you in, and thrills you
Seducing you any way she can.

(chorus)
She's a camp high in the hills
Lights his eyes on fire like a carnival thrill
Hunting gear, fishing poles and don't forget the compound bow
I want to make him happy so I say "just go"


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1116562 - 09/30/16 10:40 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Aaron Authier Offline
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Aaron Authier  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Hi Donna. I was distracted by "courtesan" and then I had to look it up and by that time I didn't really care to read the rest of the lyric. My advice is to use words that the general population would know so as not to lose their attention.

Last edited by Aaron Authier; 09/30/16 10:41 PM.
#1116563 - 09/30/16 10:43 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Aaron Authier]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
WNY, USA
Thank you for that Aaron. What I am trying to do is make the listening think I am writing about my man's "other" woman. They don't find out until the chorus that "she" is a hunting cabin. I'm interested in hearing more opinions.


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1116565 - 09/30/16 11:18 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Aaron Authier Offline
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Aaron Authier  Offline
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Where is the clue that he has another woman? The way it's written it sounds like the singer is singing about another couple.

#1116566 - 09/30/16 11:22 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Aaron Authier]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Aaron Authier Offline
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Aaron Authier  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
You have to change your pre chorus. It talks directly to him while your first verse does not.
That makes it very confusing. You either sing about him or you sing to him. You cannot do both.

#1116612 - 10/01/16 06:13 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Aaron Authier]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
WNY, USA
Thank you Aaron for bringing this all to my attention. I agree with you 100%. Made some big changes. Let me know if this is better.

JUST GO
1.
She’s a beautiful whore dressed like a queen
She pulls you in like a pair of skinny jeans.
You won’t find another like her
Satisfies you like I wish I could.

(pre chorus)
She’s your go to, fills you, takes you in, and thrills you
Seducing you any way she can.

(chorus)
She’s a camp high in the hills
Lights his eyes on fire like a carnival thrill
Hunting gear, fishing poles and don’t forget the compound bow
I want to make him happy so I say “just go”
2.
Count the days till you see her again
I can’t complain cause I would never win
She’s your drug, she’s your siren song
Whispering in your ear “darling please come home”

(pre chorus)
She’s your go to, fills you, takes you in, and thrills you
Seducing you any way she can.

(chorus)
She’s a camp high in the hills
Lights his eyes on fire like a carnival thrill
Hunting gear, fishing poles and don’t forget the compound bow
I want to make him happy so I say “just go”


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1116616 - 10/01/16 07:33 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Aaron Authier Offline
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Aaron Authier  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Yeah that works for me!

#1116622 - 10/01/16 09:13 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Aaron Authier]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
WNY, USA
thank you for your help Aaron!


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1116623 - 10/01/16 09:32 PM Re: JUST GO *DELETED* [Re: Aaron Authier]  
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 41
Ted Martin Offline
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Ted Martin  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 41
Oregon
Post deleted by Ted Martin

#1116679 - 10/02/16 04:48 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Ted Martin]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Jim Colyer Offline
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Jim Colyer  Offline
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Nashville, Tennessee usa
Donna, This shows a vivid imagination.

Jim

#1116703 - 10/02/16 09:22 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Jim Colyer]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
WNY, USA
Every year at this time, my husband gets ready to go hunting. He has a bounce in his step and a sparkle in his eyes that I could NEVER put there.....well, maybe 40 years ago I did.:) I've always said if I didn't know better, I'd swear he was off to see another woman. This is what I was trying to convey in these lyrics. Some get it, some don't. I'd like to hear from those who "get it".


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1116729 - 10/03/16 01:01 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,523
beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,523
Villa Park IL
So you could be described as the hunting and fishing widow for a few weeks out of the year. Are you a golf widow during the summer as well? Stories are legendary about them. A song on a somewhat similar subject was written by the now deceased songwriter Linda Hargrove. It is called "Music Is Your Mistress". May see if it is on YouTube. And, I am one person who does know what a courtesan is, even though I don't even come close to having deep enough pockets to be able to afford one. Yet can still dream.

#1116732 - 10/03/16 02:38 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
WNY, USA
Thank you: I finally found someone who "gets it"! I don't consider myself a golfing widow because we golf together. BTW, did you prefer the word "courtesan" over "beautiful whore"?


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn
#1116781 - 10/04/16 12:37 PM Re: JUST GO [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,523
beechnut79 Offline
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beechnut79  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,523
Villa Park IL
I would say "yes" to that, but in the end it is your call. Please feel free to check out some of my original entries on this board. You must be a relative newcomer because I just discovered you yesterday. Don't have much time to be online today as I need to get back to food delivery after a couple of days off.

#1120476 - 12/04/16 02:26 AM Re: JUST GO [Re: Donna Dutchess]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
Donna Dutchess Offline
Serious Contributor
Donna Dutchess  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 157
WNY, USA
There was so much discussion about the lyrics to this song. I took a lot of advice to heart and made some changes. Demo came back today. Here it is. Let me know your thoughts.

https://www.reverbnation.com/donnadutchesssongwriter/song/27097220-just-go


https://donnadutchessmusic.com/
http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/donnadutchesssongwriter
https://www.youtube.com/user/dutchessdnn

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