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9ne
N.E. of Toronto
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#1115728 - 09/17/16 07:27 AM Rewrite..  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,761
Kolstad Offline
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Kolstad  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,761
Denmark
Here's one from the shelf.. jury's still out on getting singers on and go the pitching route. I wonder how this song feels and resonates with you? Could you think of any artists today that could put out a song like this, or is it too unique?

[tnx]

Rewrite the Future
©2012 Magne Kolstad

Sometimes you know the end before the story’s started
Like you’re in an evil plot leaving you dishearted
But you’ve worked so hard to get here, you’ve put in everything
When you come up for air, signs are as bad as anything

Sometimes you need to change the lines, to make sense to you
Sometimes you need to change the colors, especially the blue
If your plan won’t stick, and reality’s too thick, you need a new world to suit ya
Trash old dreams in the bin
Rewrite the future

It’s hard to track the words back once you’ve gotten lost
Like if you have to start all over, learn how to baby talk
But the memories means the same, as long as you’re with your right mind
You’ll make it step by step, one chapter at a time

Sometimes you need to change the lines, to make sense to you
Sometimes you need to change the colors, especially the blue
If your plan won’t stick, and reality’s too thick, you need a new world to suit ya
Trash old dreams in the bin
Rewrite the future

Let your hand tow your mind, start to act before you think
You can choose your ride, if you dive deep enough into the ink

Sometimes you need to change the lines, to make sense to you
Sometimes you need to change the colors, especially the blue
If your plan won’t stick, and reality’s too thick, you need a new world to suit ya
Trash old dreams in the bin
Rewrite the future

Rewrite the future
Oh, you can change
Yeah, you can change it


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#1115729 - 09/17/16 08:31 AM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Kolstad]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,372
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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Posts: 5,372
UK
There are parts in it where you sound like Vince Gill.
It's a likeable song and I do like these lines:

"Sometimes you need to change the lines, to make sense to you
Sometimes you need to change the colors, especially the blue"

Good luck with it.
Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.
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#1115734 - 09/17/16 09:03 AM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Dec 2008
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Kolstad Offline
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Kolstad  Offline
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Denmark
Thanks a lot, Vic. Vince Gill is one of my all time favourites, and I often listen to his music, so I guess that's what has happened. Very helpful reference!


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#1115741 - 09/17/16 01:00 PM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Kolstad]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 104
Dave Andrasin Offline
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Dave Andrasin  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 104
Minnesota
Hello, I'm old here but new here. I like the flow of your song, little slow for me. but thats me smile
one thing. it in my view and I'm listin on a lap to right now. The vocals sound a but muddy. I don't know how to fix that but maybe someone else does. I think it's an EQ thing.

have a good one! smile


Spelling and grammer are not my thing, so excuse the type-Os...

Iffin I don't review your song, sorry, I'm trying to stay with styles I like. But I do listen to all on 2 pages when I have time. \:\)
#1115744 - 09/17/16 01:10 PM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Dave Andrasin]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,332
Dave Rice Online content
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Dave Rice  Online Content
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Posts: 6,332
Texas
Hi Magne:

I enjoyed every line and verse. The "blues vibe" you have going on with this song is perfect to my ears. Like Mr. Andrasin, the speakers of my laptop don't do your song justice... but in a first class stereo system... I'll bet it sounds delicious.

Don't change a thing, my friend. It is a gem of a song. Pitch it! (Here's hoping you have better sources for pitching than me! LOL!)

All the best, ----Dave

#1115809 - 09/18/16 06:05 PM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Kolstad]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,658
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Posts: 4,658
California
Hi Magne,

This is really sweet! Your soft vocals are mixed well--I'm getting most of the words without the lyric sheet. suit ya/future..nice!

The music is beautiful. I hear that JJ Cale influence in there..this is definitely pitchable, I think..it's rootsy rock--on the pop side of Americana..with a slight nod towards Memphis, to my ears.

Ryan Adams, Mumford and Sons, Keb Mo, John Hiatt, Lucinda Williams..Wilco..

Love it!

Mike


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/18/16 08:42 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1116000 - 09/22/16 01:26 AM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,993
E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Posts: 2,993
Ohio
Kolstad,

How goes it? Hey I like your song's vibe and melody--nice. I do however, think your bridge, though certainly not bad, but could be improved. Not at all due to performance, I think the bridge arrangement could better contrast the strong back beat rhythms and perhaps vocally launch a little stronger to establish a more dramatic breaking point within this song. I'd play around with the bridge arrangement and possibly melody to give it more recognized identity. Also I'd experiment with shortening the interlude pause preceding the bridge with no more than a half rest, it feels like it's launching a beat behind ideal IMO. A more dynamic bridge will also IMO, empower the following solo by establishing better momentum/lift, as this juncture is the "climax" of the song. Generally, I think choruses should be anticipated, but bridges more of a subtle surprise.

I think you have a great song, like the lyrics & melody, decent production. Definitely potential here!

steady-eddie.

#1116007 - 09/22/16 06:48 AM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,284
Calvin Online content
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Calvin  Online Content
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Magne,

Nice performance, catchy/good song.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


#1116028 - 09/22/16 11:37 AM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Kolstad]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,385
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Posts: 6,385
Wisconsin
I like where this story goes Magne. We not only CAN change the future but have to realize that, much of the reason WHY we need to change it is our own doing in the first place! smile

I like the production you've put together too. It suits the lyrics well. Overall, nicely done.

Ricki

#1116032 - 09/22/16 11:48 AM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,243
Janice & Bud Offline
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Janice & Bud  Offline
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Posts: 1,243
Georgia, USA
Man, does this ever fit into the growing (thankfully) Americana genre. We'd quote a favorite lines but we like them all.

Great production also...vocal is IMO perfectly recorded and processed. Great drum sound. Heck, just loving the entire mix...sounds wonderful on the monitors. And Mike nailed a lot of the similar artists. Look through some of the Americana sites -- really think you have a great fit.

Thoroughly enjoyed it!

J&B



Never grow up...it's a trap!
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#1116266 - 09/26/16 07:57 AM Re: Rewrite.. [Re: Janice & Bud]  
Joined: Dec 2008
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Kolstad Offline
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Kolstad  Offline
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Denmark
Dave, Dave, Michael, Ediie, Calvin, Ricki, J&B,
Appreciate all your insightful comments!

Lots to think about with the vocal mix, similar artists, the bridge, genre ect.


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