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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Hello JPFrs all over the world. I would like to share this guitar/vocal I recently had demoed. Can you identify the singer? I don't need a critique as such, although all opinions are valuable. Mainly I'm looking for gut reactions to it, lyrically and musically. Also, if you were to add more production, what would it be? Thanks, Ricki https://soundcloud.com/rickib/dangerous-girlDANGEROUS GIRL When there’s no fight left And I let life beat me You lick my wounds yourself Won’t let it defeat me With just a few words And your steady gaze I feel this living curse Slowly slip away You’re a dangerous girl Fill my head with visions of the world And who I could be But baby look at me I’m just a simple man in love With a dangerous girl It’s not just about me I’ve learned to help you too I know what makes you bleed I heal by healing you When the night descends I’ll protect you from harm And my brokenness mends In the comfort of your arms REPEAT CHORUS Because of you I think I can Once again be a dreaming man REPEAT CHORUS ©Ricki E. Bellos (BMI)
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I love this. The vocal, melody and lyrics. Reminds me of something Steve Earle would come up with. Production wise, if it was me I would simplify the guitar rhythm until you get to: "You’re a dangerous girl ..." where you can bring in the steady rhythm and another instrument (maybe organ, bass and simple drum pattern).
Vic
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Hey Ricky,
I really enjoyed this song. A real sweet listen too. It has an interesting melody, nice rhythm which makes for a nice ballad. You could take production several ways--I think it a Zack Brown Band type of production or vibe might be cool.
The lead singer? He sounds a lot like "early 60's Wayne Newton," ----not really! I just said that to jab at the real singer--I recognized him immediately, but won't give it away this early in your post, oK?
Nice write,
steady-eddie.
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Hi Ricki, I like your song a lot. I also like the vocalist, but I sure don't know who it is. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Gut feeling i love it, this is what the real world is all about.
Love the way the guitar chords sings with you and your lyrics, your last verse speaks volumes.
When the night descends I’ll protect you from harm And my brokenness mends In the comfort of your arms
Says it all, Brilliant.
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Hey Ricki,
Dang, I know that voice, but ... hey it's Kurt! I can hear the "ricki" phrasing in there, too. I think the recording is mighty fine and the song is a good listen. Good luck with it, whatever your plans might be.
Are you know a full time power broker behind the scenes (ha, ha)? For extra instrumentation, just some bass, congas and other light percussion, with a piano here and there would be just fine. .. or maybe a cello -- they always add a comfortable, but slightly different sound to these types of songs.
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RICKI--
Sounds Great!
Write On--
Mackie
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Ricki,
Lyrically it's a good mix. The verses have interesting statements that are somewhat vague, but imply enough of a story to allow the listener to fill in the blanks themselves -however they might. Then, both the chorus and bridge have a solid, single thought/meaning.
The acoustic rhythm works nicely. You could add a solid, rock bass line and a hard-hitting drum pattern - steady kick/snare - with a full Eagles-type harmony on the chorus and bridge and it would soar...
floyd
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yes,of course it's Kurt!Really nice sound!Mike
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Hi Ricki,
What a great song -- it sounds really lovely! And it has a charm to it that delights me!
One thing -- I'm not crazy about the image of her licking his wounds...although it does give it a sort of rawness that's real and it does catch the listener's attention!
Lisa
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Hi Vic,
As I have little ear for production, I appreciate your thoughts on it and glad you liked the song. Thanks,
Ricki
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Hi Steady Eddie, The cat's out of the bag now, but if you knew it was Kurt, you were right! Thanks for listening and the Zack Brown Band suggestion, and glad you liked the song. Ricki
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Hello JPFrs all over the world. I would like to share this guitar/vocal I recently had demoed. Can you identify the singer? I don't need a critique as such, although all opinions are valuable. Mainly I'm looking for gut reactions to it, lyrically and musically. Also, if you were to add more production, what would it be? Thanks, Ricki https://soundcloud.com/rickib/dangerous-girlDANGEROUS GIRL When there’s no fight left And I let life beat me You lick my wounds yourself Won’t let it defeat me With just a few words And your steady gaze I feel this living curse Slowly slip away You’re a dangerous girl Fill my head with visions of the world And who I could be But baby look at me I’m just a simple man in love With a dangerous girl It’s not just about me I’ve learned to help you too I know what makes you bleed I heal by healing you When the night descends I’ll protect you from harm And my brokenness mends In the comfort of your arms REPEAT CHORUS Because of you I think I can Once again be a dreaming man REPEAT CHORUS ©Ricki E. Bellos (BMI) Cool song, Ricki. It's about vampires, right? I kinda like that singer. Maybe I'll use him on my next record. Could you hook us up?
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Gut feeling? It's workin' good! Couldn't guess, though yeah, could be Kurt's signature voice. Best, John
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This is good, well done, straight ahead guitar/vocal....I don't know that I'd change much. Regarding being fleshed out, I'd kick in after that first turn around and add drums/guitar and bass.....I don't hear much else.
I do hear guitar in the style of say David Grissom floating around in my head while listening.
two cents,
well done.
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Oh, by the way....I heard it so strongly in my head, that I was going to pick up my guitar and noodle around with it....but........my gear is packed.
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Hi Calvin,
Thanks for checking it out. It's fun watching your play progress. Congrats on that.
Ricki
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Hi Pat, Thanks for checking out the song. Always go with your gut. Ricki
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Hi Kevin,
Yes indeed, it is Kurt and I think he did a fine job. "Ricki phrasing"? :)Thanks for the input and I'm glad you enjoyed your listen.
Ricki
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I'm down with Vicarn on the Steve Earle vibe and, my book, that's a good thing! I also feel that floyd's comments re the drum/bass suggestion and Eagles type harmony would really work. But, even with a sparse presentation the strength of the tune is so obvious. I like it!
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?" on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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Hi Mackie,
Thanks for listening.
Ricki
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Hi Floyd,
Thanks for the favorable critique and production input.
Ricki
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Hi Mike,
Yep, Kurt all the way. Thanks for listening.
Ricki
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Hi Lisa, Attention is what it's all about, right? I'm delighted that you're delighted! Ricki
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Yeah, me and that singer are really tight now man. Name the time and place! Kurt! You're the only one who really gets me! :0 Thanks, Dude.
Ricki
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Hi John,
Thanks for listening and glad it works for you.
Ricki
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Hi Mac, Thanks for taking time to listen and for your production ideas. By all means, unpack that gear and start noodling! Ricki
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Great song Ricki. Love Kurt's vocal. I don't know where you want to go with it genre wise. If country, I can hear a dobro. If americana, I can hear hear Floyd's suggestion.
You can do just about anything with it and it'll sound good.
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HI Ricki- I am a little late to the game, between dental surgery, complications and then an ice storm and no power, I am playing catch up This is really nice, I agree with Ed, I hear some Zac Brown vibe in it...kinda like his recent song Sweet Annie.. I find no nits to speak of. Great job girl and KURT Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thanks for your input Janice & Bud. I was thinking Guy Clark or Rodney Crowell but Steve Earle sounds good too! Glad you like it.
Ricki
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Hi Ben.
Thanks for listening and your production ideas. Glad you like it.
Ricki
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Hi Kim, Thanks for taking time to listen and comment. Glad you like it. Zak Brown? I'll take that too. Thanks, Ricki
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I really like it. Catchy title. Very good lyrics. Beautiful sentiment.
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Kurt did a great vocal on this! Really like the melody, did hear more instruments in my head...know they cost moola, but I agree the genre can bend many ways.
Not excited about the "lick" line, but love "I heal by healing you".......
Miss you Ricki, so happy to see you and hear your work again, hope you stick around!
Tammy
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Hey Mrs. Bellos. Hope you and your husband are well. Ricki I could go two ways on the production question. I can hear a calipso/Island feel to this. You know kind of a sunny feel to the music. Which could work in my mind as this is redemptive message. I could also hear a heavier electric guitar driven arrangement as well. With that hook at the end of the chorus finishing with a minor cord creating more of a foreboding feeling.
I have listened several times and if I am to answer your first question of what my gut reaction to the song is: I'm thinking that a fuller arrangement could enhance the emotion of the lyric. It could also help create separation of the parts.
Kurt did a fine job, he has a voice of which I am jealous. And this was a very nice song to listen to. As it got better with each listen.
Tom
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Hi David,
Cool cat! Glad you liked the song and for letting me know. Thanks.
Ricki
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Hi Tams,
Thanks for weighing in. Yeah, the "lick" line...it's an acquired taste! :0
Ricki
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Hi Tom,
Great to "see" you! Thanks for all your production ideas. Glad you liked the song well enough to tolerate all those listens! Kurt did a great job, I don't care what they say about him! :0
Ricki
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Hi Tom,
Great to "see" you! Thanks for all your production ideas. Glad you liked the song well enough to tolerate all those listens! Kurt did a great job, I don't care what they say about him! :0
Ricki What a coincidence...Kurt doesn't care what they say about him either.
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Hi Ricki:
Great song and you got your money's worth in Kurt's vocal. Good luck with the song as you pitch it in today's difficult and overcrowded music market. The demo is really good and certainly not an "overkill." Those with good ears and talent will know exactly how they want to arrange the song if they pick it up. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Dave
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Good song. Is that Kurt Fortmeyer singing?
Soundin like Tom Petty there.
Cool stuff!
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Good song. Is that Kurt Fortmeyer singing?
Soundin like Tom Petty there.
Cool stuff! Yup.
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My gut reaction to it-both lyrically and musically..Here I go Geronimo..
You have done much much better stuff than this Ricki..I know demo's cost money-did you hit the lottery and not tell us about it-cause this was just so boring and amateur hour from start to finish it about put me to sleep......Not a single hook..Kurt's guitar strumming was completely uninteresting...It was a real endurance test.....Lyrically and musically...Kevlar helmet-check/Full body armor-check...Thats my gut reaction to it...
Yes I know-i will be sorry.....
I have some stuff that sucks as well.
Keep em coming......
Tom
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Kurt's guitar strumming was completely uninteresting... Tom
If it was my playing, it would have been less interesting than that. Tim Galloway (from Gary Allan's band) played the guitar. He pretty much copied what Ricki sent.
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Well it was just boring Kurt..
Ricki paid for a demo-she got a demo.
Tell me with a straight face that song wouldnt get killed in 10 seconds or less in a publisher pitch....I assume Ricki plans pitching it if she paid for a pro demo..And unless she hit the lottery that was hard earned money for her to have that thing fully demoed at the expense of much better stuff she has done in the past......
Tom
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Well it was just boring Kurt..
Ricki paid for a demo-she got a demo.
Tell me with a straight face that song wouldnt get killed in 10 seconds or less in a publisher pitch....I assume Ricki plans pitching it if she paid for a pro demo..And unless she hit the lottery that was hard earned money for her to have that thing fully demoed at the expense of much better stuff she has done in the past......
Tom Tom, I can't help but feel like you're accusing me of taking advantage of Ricki in some way. She approached me about doing a "guitar/vocal" recording (NOT a "full demo") for her. I told her that I had never done anything like that, but I would be willing to try. She was looking for a Guy Clark/Rodney Crowell vibe, but I think I came across a little more like Steve Earle. I was trepidatious about the whole endeavor, since I live pretty much on a shoestring myself, and can certainly appreciate not wanting to waste anyone's money. It didn't cost her an arm and a leg...more like a toenail compared to what some people would charge. I can't tell you whether or not it would get killed (and in how much time) at a "publisher pitch". I don't even know if that is a real thing anymore, or just something that NSAI stages to keep people's hopes up (and their money flowing). In terms of the quality of this song compared to the rest of Ricki's catalog, I'm sure there was a reason that she wanted to record it. She seemed pleased with it, which was a load off my mind. I'd like to say that I'm sorry you don't like it, but I also know that you can't please everybody. Thanks for proving that old axiom to be true. Kurt
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Hi Tom, Wow! Now tell me what you really think! I guess I've written better songs, and worse ones. Some I choose to take to a higher level, others I don't. You've made a few erroneous assumptions here. I wanted and received a simple guitar/vocal for this song. I'll take it farther at some point, not with the intention to "pitch" to anyone though. More because it pleases me. I like it and to get beyond my own gate keeper is a major accomplishment for me. I had to talk Kurt into singing for me but I'm grateful that he agreed to do it. He suggested another guitar player because he didn't feel his playing was good enough and I was also grateful for that. It's an excellent guitar track that will be built upon at a later date, making the instrumentation more "interesting". I'm not sorry that you don't like my song. You feel what you feel, but I am sorry that you think you have to defend your negative critique. As the song goes, you can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself, which is what I'm doing with my writing. Why do you write, and how is that working out for you? Ricki
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No Kurt
To be very clear-I never ever thought or meant to say that you took advantage of her.......If thats how it came off I apologize.
You did what she wanted......You have integrity-you are not out to victimize anybody etc etc.....
I just thought it really sucked and my honesty gets me in trouble all the time...You are also honest and you did exactly what she wanted.....I would myself reccomend you to anyone for a good studio production in Nashville....
Again my apologies...
I can indeed be a A-Hole sometimes but I do mean well....
Best to you
Tom
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Well Ricki Writing is a compulsion in my case....If and when I think of stuff I go with the flow.... If its crap I depend on my co-writers to tell me that....... Because my co-writers do this for money...... I do this for money myself-or more precisely the hope and pursuit of money someday.... This aint a hobby with me.... This is-rightly or wrongly my professional identity.. Again sorry for being so blunt and best to you in all things musical and otherwise......Cya round JPF
Last edited by WriterTomYeager; 09/06/16 04:23 PM.
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This is exceptional Ricki and co!Great feel to it and message too Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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