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#1114292 - 08/26/16 09:13 PM LOVE  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 622
Irwin Offline
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Irwin  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 622
Georgetown,Guyana,South Americ...
For 2018 I redone this song and I say I'll post it to have some feedback. I hope you guys like it.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=495672&songID=13682545


Below is my first post.

This is a piano melody of this song I've compose, your criticisms I will not be taken personally I will only see it as a person wanting to help. Do you think that after listening to this (the way it is) A singer can sing this song?

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=495672&songID=13439581

LOVE
©2016 Irwin Abrigo

(1st Verse)
Sometimes
I realize
Like a miracle
Iím cured inside

Thatís how
Iím feeling
Right now

Some people
Never fell in love
Yet they look you
In the face and say

This world
Is a crazy place
Thatís what they say

They can feel
Nor understand
What is love

They would know
Nor understand
What Iím talking about
It is love

(Chrous)
Iím
Not the guy
Who will lay down
And die
Iím willing
To fight
To survive
And
If love
Donít work out right
The first time
I will
Give love
A second
Try

(2nd Verse)
They say
Love breaks your heart
So Iíd stayed away
Without a doubt

Wanted
To find a way out
Met someone
And I fell in love

To those people
I would like to say
This world
Is a happy place

Thatís what Iíll say
I can feel
And understand
What is love

I know
And I understand
What itís all about
It is love

(Chorus)
Iím
Not the guy
Who will lay down
And die
Iím willing
To fight
To survive
And
If love
Donít work out right
The first time
I will
Give love
A second
Try

(Bridge)
So whenever
you fall in love
Look those people
face to face and say
This world
is a happy place
That you can say

You will feel
And understand
What is love

You will know
And understand
What Iím talking about
It is love

(Chorus)
Iím
Not the guy
Who will lay down
And die
Iím willing
To fight
To survive
And
If love
Donít work out right
The first time
I will
Give love
A second
Try

It is love
It is love
It is love
Love, love ,love

Last edited by Irwin; 01/22/18 10:23 AM.
#1114343 - 08/27/16 05:21 PM Re: LOVE [Re: Irwin]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Jim Colyer Offline
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Jim Colyer  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Nashville, Tennessee usa
Irwin, I listened and gave you a tweet. I think it would be difficult to sing, although someone might be able to do it.

Jim Colyer

#1114651 - 08/30/16 07:59 PM Re: LOVE [Re: Jim Colyer]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 622
Irwin Offline
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Irwin  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 622
Georgetown,Guyana,South Americ...
Okay Jim, For I just wanted to know.Thanks for being honest.

#1115178 - 09/08/16 10:52 AM Re: LOVE [Re: Irwin]  
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,650
WriterTomYeager Offline
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WriterTomYeager  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,650
Harrisonburg,Virtginia
Jimmy that is honestly BEGINNER PIANO-as in Day One-in my opinion...Everyone has to start somewhere and every one of todays top stars clunked their way to mastering their instruments after years and years of practice....But I have heard better piano playing by kids randomly banging keys in music stores than that....Any lyrics you write for your piano work-at this point anyway-will be defeated by the piano work itself....Its the old saying my friend "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" Answer-Practice Practice Practice.....

Keep at it-Best of luck

Tom

#1115199 - 09/08/16 12:55 PM Re: LOVE [Re: WriterTomYeager]  
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 13
porcupine Offline
Casual Observer
porcupine  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 13
there are jazz people that could sing this, but even the best vocal gymnastics recognize great melody. I think working on one solid melody line of maybe 10 notes is the start.
my suggestion is to work with a composer, someone that know chords well enough to bounce around your melody.
smile

#1115203 - 09/08/16 01:28 PM Re: LOVE [Re: porcupine]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,226
Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,226
Texas
Hi Irwin:

I listened several days ago and had to leave before I had a chance to respond. In it's present form, it would be a little difficult to sing but you are headed in the right direction.

Only you know the details of the melody you have in-mind for the song but until your piano skills catch up with your creativity, "porcupine" may have suggested a shortcut.

Best of luck with this song and your music. ----Dave

#1135360 - 01/21/18 05:04 PM Re: LOVE [Re: porcupine]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 622
Irwin Offline
Top 500 Poster
Irwin  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 622
Georgetown,Guyana,South Americ...
Originally Posted by porcupine
there are jazz people that could sing this, but even the best vocal gymnastics recognize great melody. I think working on one solid melody line of maybe 10 notes is the start.
my suggestion is to work with a composer, someone that know chords well enough to bounce around your melody.
smile


Thanks for giving your suggestion I did some work on the melody.

Here is the link:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=495672

#1135638 - 01/26/18 09:41 PM Re: LOVE [Re: Irwin]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,333
E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,333
Ohio
Irwin,

I've been trying to sing along--what makes it difficult is not feeling the rhythm, even though you are playing the melody notes. What would help a singer that unlike you (may not hear or feel the music in their heads) is to have root chords played subtly along with the notes. This gives the jazzier note melody a foundation. Pop melodies are much easier to sing along with, just like you could sing along with jingle bells even if you never have heard the tune. Jazz type melodies can sound a bit abstract without their root chords. Hope this helps.

steady-eddie


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