Who's Online Now
22 registered members (Fdemetrio, couchgrouch, Guy E. Trepanier, JAPOV, E Swartz, Gavin Sinclair, Everett Adams, ckiphen, 2 invisible), and 234 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Richard Maclemale
Richard Maclemale
New Port Richey, FL, USA
Posts: 613
Joined: November 2006
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Bruce Fans???
by Fdemetrio. 09/30/20 07:30 PM
Edit: ALL Corona Virus Post MUST Go Here
by John Lawrence Schick. 09/30/20 07:19 PM
Just to Spend This Time with You
by johnparagreen. 09/30/20 06:16 PM
A Subtle Fire
by JAPOV. 09/30/20 06:06 PM
need advice on song release please
by Pat Hardy. 09/30/20 05:49 PM
There But For You Go I - a song for my better 1/2
by E Swartz. 09/30/20 02:34 PM
One Moment of Peace
by E Swartz. 09/30/20 02:28 PM
Classical Guitar - Tansman's Barcarole
by TransformsIntoAGuita. 09/30/20 11:19 AM
YOUR SWEET LOVE
by Mackie H.. 09/30/20 09:11 AM
The Latest Thing
by Vicarn. 09/30/20 06:48 AM
Writer Database
by Brian Austin Whitney. 09/30/20 06:22 AM
I Was Only Me
by Deej56. 09/29/20 09:05 PM
Nothing left to pour
by ckiphen. 09/29/20 08:36 PM
You
by John W. Selleck. 09/29/20 05:57 PM
Finders Keepers
by John W. Selleck. 09/29/20 05:55 PM
Last Stand
by beechnut79. 09/29/20 12:12 PM
Turbulent Waters
by beechnut79. 09/29/20 12:09 PM
In My Element.
by beechnut79. 09/29/20 12:03 PM
PTSD
by ckiphen. 09/29/20 10:14 AM
Whiskey the rest of the day
by ckiphen. 09/29/20 10:11 AM
Looking In
by Nigel Quin. 09/29/20 08:56 AM
An even worser Thanksgiving
by Moosesong. 09/28/20 11:35 PM
WHERE OLD GLORY DIDN'T FLY
by John W. Selleck. 09/28/20 05:56 PM
Natural Melodies?
by R&M. 09/28/20 01:13 AM
Post Malone...
by Fdemetrio. 09/27/20 11:44 PM
ALL OF ME IS MISSIN' YOU
by Mackie H.. 09/27/20 12:17 PM
This Fire
by Vicarn. 09/27/20 09:20 AM
The Way it Should Be
by John W. Selleck. 09/26/20 05:36 PM
Love looking back at me
by ckiphen. 09/26/20 12:59 PM
Come in from the rain
by ckiphen. 09/26/20 12:56 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,949
Kevin Emmrich 10,768
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,916
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,844
Dave Rice 7,831
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,682
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,691
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,241
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,120
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,816
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,631
E Swartz 3,560
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,859
Fdemetrio 2,750
MidniteBob 2,712
Nelson 2,608
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Sunset Poet 2,381
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Deej56 1,351
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Gerry 1,232
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,199
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
IronKnee 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 952
9ne 932
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 761
Andy K 747
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Irwin 679
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 656
Pat Hardy 655
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
JAPOV 569
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
ckiphen 532
R&M 529
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
Alek 357
papaG 353
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 292
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
pd 277
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1113967 - 08/23/16 05:47 PM Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance)  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Hello all ... any feedback you can offer on my latest write and recording is greatly appreciated.

SCREW THE REVOLUTION (LET'S DANCE)
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
(c)2016 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/screw-the-revolution-lets-dance

INTRO
VERSE 1

Why don't we screw the revolution
I'm not down with this game of chance
And to hell with the damn apocalypse
And this crazy zombie trance

CHORUS
Let's Dance
Let's Dance
Let's Dance

VERSE 2
I read this kid bit the face off a stranger
It's hard to navigate through the slime
Every corner I turn there's more danger
It seems we finally crossed a line
It's hard to dig your way through the lies
While the virus is advancing
I'll be joined with the walking dead
And all I want is to do some dancing

CHORUS
VERSE 3

Why don't we screw the revolution
And just take a real firm stance
Don't give the trolls and xenaphobes
Even the slightest glance

CHORUS
SOLO
CHORUS
BRIDGE

I've been watching the news on my TV screen
Petrified by the things that I've seen
A gator grabs a kid from his dad
A man goes beserk in Queens
We have riots on the south side
Poisoned water out mid-west
A race war may be coming
Man it's all a blasted mess
Recruiting evil on the internet
Politicians are on the take
Police they kill and then get killed
My God for goodness sake
Murder in the name of God
And Zika's on the loose
The world is going straight to hell
Can we all just call a truce

CHORUS
VERSE 4

Why don't we screw the revolution
And get a big time cash advance
We'll hide away in our Shangri-La
And bathe in sweet romance

CHORUS x 2

Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/27/16 02:59 PM.
#1113971 - 08/23/16 06:03 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,259
Barry David Butler (D) Offline
Top 100 Poster
Barry David Butler (D)  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,259
Sebring, Florida USA
I loved the song!!
The only thing is I wished there was a catchier chorus..
BUT it is a great song.
Good Luck!

#1113975 - 08/23/16 06:12 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,650
WriterTomYeager Offline
Top 100 Poster
WriterTomYeager  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,650
Harrisonburg,Virtginia
Commercially it just aint gonna happen my friend...As a veteran of many many publisher pitches at BMI in Nashville-i can tell you from experience the lead in music is just way too long...They reject anything that doesnt absolutely positively GRAB the listener in about 10 seconds......Not trying to be mean-just honest....

Your guitar work just isnt whiz bang enough to hold the listener long enough to hear the vocals....I assume you want honesty-well thats my opinion of it.......Best of luck.......Keep at it!

Tom

Last edited by WriterTomYeager; 08/23/16 06:16 PM.
#1113981 - 08/23/16 06:25 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: WriterTomYeager]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,834
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,834
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Dave,

W O W !
I think you did a really great job here.

Calvin


[color:#3366FF]The
Blood Of My Youth..... [/color]http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1114026 - 08/23/16 08:21 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
floyd jane Offline
Top 200 Poster
floyd jane  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Tampa
I enjoyed the listen, Dave. I like the way you are addressing current events (craziness) in your writes.

The guitars sound good. I think you could add an EDM style drum track (loop) to this - and really "make it dance"...

fj

#1114029 - 08/23/16 08:25 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: floyd jane]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Aaron Authier Offline
Top 200 Poster
Aaron Authier  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Sounds very 80ish. Is it supposed to be a song you want to dance to? I didn't feel like dancing. The lyrics are too heavy and thought provoking. It's a sit down and drink to song in my opinion.

#1114043 - 08/23/16 10:14 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,106
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,106
California
Hi Dave,

Fantastic lyric that manages to say some serious things in a fun way. Julian Cope has a similar knack, but I don't think he's come up with a hook as strong as "screw the revolution--let's dance" in quite a while.

I can hear a slight nod to Chic/Nile Rodgers in the rhythm section, which I could imagine mixed more up front with the rhythm guitar, and the lead guitars and echo repeats softened a bit.

You almost go into a "rap" at the bridge--it made me wonder how a full on rap/breakdown would work here? As in..remove everything except the drums for the first 8 or so bars while you actually rap the bridge..then slowly bring everything in..just something that occurred to me because you were sowing the seeds that-a-way yourself. smile

Remember.."dance" is one kind of music where there's no such thing as "over-quantized," especially when it comes to the rhythm section. The tighter the better, and everything atop of that should feel ornamental and not dominate. But this straddles that "dance" world quite well without being entirely centered in it, and I like it very much, for that. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 08/23/16 10:15 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1114074 - 08/24/16 06:24 AM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,682
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,682
UK
Hi Dave.
First of all I love the lyrics.
Personally I think you could do more with the chorus to make it more dynamic. Maybe different chording. Something like G F#m F Em.
Also, there seems to be a little too much going on when your singing that detracts from the lyric. You could try the "Let's Dance" Bowie style.
It's certainly worth working on.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1114100 - 08/24/16 12:41 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 40 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Wisconsin
I enjoyed my listen, Dave. I can hear a full blown rap at the bridge as well, and I generally don't like rap! smile Got my chair moving anyway. Always love your playing.

Ricki

#1114112 - 08/24/16 12:55 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Dave Rice Offline
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Texas
Hi Dave:

No advice from me. My ears enjoyed what they heard and liked what you did. In the final analysis... you (and only you) will decide what works and what does not. One thing for sure, you received some honest feedback with this one... and that can be helpful even though some comments were a bit too honest... LOL!

As always, best of luck with it. ----Dave

#1114118 - 08/24/16 01:21 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Dave Rice]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
@Barry ... thx for giving this a spin. Appreciate it. Glad you liked it.

@Tom ... thx for the honesty. Appreciate the listen.

@Calvin ... thx. glad you enjoyed it.

@Floyd ... always appreciate your thoughts. To show how amateurish I am at this, I am not positive what EDM even is. Is it electronic dance mix?

@Aaron ... you can sit and drink to it or dance to it if you wish. Any affect on a listener is just fine with me. Falling asleep to it, however, wouldn't be my goal. smile

@Michael ... the rap idea has me thinking for sure, though I must admit it is something I have never attempted. Big time Nile Rodgers fan. I am not particularly pleased with the mix on this and am going to go back and readdress some things. It sounds a bit muddy to me and the rhythm guitars are not as crisp as I would like (maybe too much reverb and delay). The bass is not as tight as I would like either (though admittedly I am not a bass player ... but try to fake my way through on my songs). Back to the lab.

@Vic ... thx for the listen and thoughts. I will be doing some further experimenting on this.

@Ricki ... thx as always for the listen. Glad you enjoyed it.

@Dave ... Nothing wrong with honesty. As Billy Joel so eloquently said ...

"Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you."

Thx again all. Always greatly appreciated.

#1114123 - 08/24/16 02:34 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,768
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,768
Crozet, VA
Good production and performance. I am enjoying the guitar work. Maybe you could experiment with the percussion to make it even more danceable, but that is just an opinion. Nice lead break, too!

Lyrics and phrasing is working for me.


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#1114128 - 08/24/16 03:13 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
I think you have a good sound, good guitar playing, good voice and interesting structure to the song. Overall it sounds good but I think there is room for improvement.

V2 became very monotonous with a repeat of the same melody on each line.

Lyrically, I would use a different word than screw. Especially in the first line. Maybe something like deny. The lyrics are a bit of a downer list until the chorus kicks in. Maybe lighten it up a bit with something more tongue in cheek or fun.....you want people to dance, not shoot themselves.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#1114214 - 08/25/16 05:05 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Thx Kevin and Colin. I appreciate the comments and suggestions. All good ones. Appreciate you giving it a spin.

Dave

#1114230 - 08/25/16 08:54 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,313
Tom W. Offline
Top 200 Poster
Tom W.  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,313
Dave, I always enjoy your tunes and this one is no exception! I liked your guitar work on this and your lyric was quit good. Just my oppinion but I was expecting the intro to end at around the 18 second mark. I'm not sure if the extra 5 second beyound that added anything. Over all, really enjoyed listening. Thanks for sharing!

Tom

Last edited by Tom W.; 08/25/16 08:55 PM.
#1114259 - 08/26/16 02:19 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Tom W.]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,520
Janice_and_Bud Offline
Top 200 Poster
Janice_and_Bud  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,520
Southeastern USA
"I read some kid bit the face off a stranger
It's tough to navigate through the slime
Every corner I turn there's more danger
It seems we finally crossed the line
It's hard to dig your way through the lies
While the virus is advancing
I'll be joined with the walking dead
And all I want is to do some dancing"

Hell yeah!

You had something to say and you did it. We don't have a commercial viability yardstick around the house -- mercifully.

We enjoyed the message, the vocal, the arrangement and the guitar (tone and playing).

The mix sounds HUGE on our KRK's.

Nary a nit. Keep 'em coming. Another one for the SoundCloud playlist!

J&B


Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
#1114273 - 08/26/16 04:28 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Janice_and_Bud]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,560
E Swartz Online content
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,560
Ohio
Hey Dave,

Great unique tune--a lot of influences going on--cool stuff. Love the rap addition. My only small sug, would be to on the "Let's Dance," do each one a little different, even early in the song--but make sure each build on the other IMO, in other words each giving more lift and even stronger toward the song's end rather than pulling back. Don't harness the chorus. Love this concept, well done as usual--you're a real talent!

steady-eddie.

#1114309 - 08/27/16 02:36 AM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Tom, J & B and Ed ... thx for the comments and listen. Greatly appreciated. I did a redo, where I replayed, re-sang and re-mixed many of the parts and changed the arrangement a bit. Tom, I shortened the intro, per many comments. Ed ... I added harmonies to the chorus to give it more a lift. Hopefully it worked. I tightened up the bass line, took out a lot of the reverb to refine the mix a bit more and give the various instruments a bit more articulation. Also redid the guitar solo and changed it up a , as well as adding bv's and messing with the arrangement a bit. . If you get a chance, I certainly would appreciate another listen. I have substituted the new take in the original post.

Thx again.

Dave

Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/27/16 03:01 PM.
#1114330 - 08/27/16 03:43 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,608
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,608
Baltimore, MD
A cool write and performance Dave.
That solo is smokin and I like the rap section, especially when the guitars kick in near the end of it.
Nice vocal energy throughout.

I wonder how it would sound if you split the intro and cut the second half out and go straight into the verse.
As I hear it "why don't we" would have to be sung over the end of the intro and start the verse on "screw the revolution"... just thinking out loud.

As always Dave, I love your energy, musicianship and creativity


#1114362 - 08/27/16 09:05 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,560
E Swartz Online content
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,560
Ohio
Dave,

Definitely improvements all around. Personally, I'd like hearing your first two "let's dance," the same - like the first exclaim......then have the 3rd final reprise deviate which would then IMO give the last line more final exclaim. I might also experiment on that last line a 3rd high harmony as well contrasting the low harmony giving more lift as well. That may also be more predictable, which is not what you want, so you may just do that on the last chorus? (No big deal, and just could be my personal feel of the song--and maybe I'm thinking "too conventionally).

The harmonies definitely gives the chorus more body for sure! I also realized yesterday while on a long drive, I kept getting the song on my mind--a good thing. Nice work pal!

steady-eddie.

Last edited by E Swartz; 08/28/16 01:51 PM.
#1115042 - 09/06/16 12:00 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Thx Mr. Nelson ... I will play around with your suggestion. I cut down the intro significantly on a previous edit. Couldn't hurt to try some more. Always appreciate the comments.

Thx Ed. Always appreciate the thoughts and listen.

Dave

#1115044 - 09/06/16 12:32 PM Re: Screw The Revolution (Let's Dance) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
I think it sounds good and has improved over the first version I heard. I would not worry about shortening the intro unless you think it's going to be a big radio hit.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/



Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
Marina, johnparagreen, theodorekidd, stupid_blogger, TrueMusicHelper
21292 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics120,849
Posts1,137,416
Members21,292
Average Posts Daily37
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"Sometimes, the best thing you can say, isn't the easiest thing" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Steve Cooke (53)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0