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#1041915 - 03/10/14 02:09 PM Dangerous Girl  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,852
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Wisconsin
Hello JPFrs all over the world. I would like to share this guitar/vocal I recently had demoed. Can you identify the singer? smile

I don't need a critique as such, although all opinions are valuable. Mainly I'm looking for gut reactions to it, lyrically and musically.

Also, if you were to add more production, what would it be? Thanks,

Ricki

https://soundcloud.com/rickib/dangerous-girl

DANGEROUS GIRL

When thereís no fight left
And I let life beat me
You lick my wounds yourself
Wonít let it defeat me

With just a few words
And your steady gaze
I feel this living curse
Slowly slip away

Youíre a dangerous girl
Fill my head with visions of the world
And who I could be
But baby look at me
Iím just a simple man in love
With a dangerous girl

Itís not just about me
Iíve learned to help you too
I know what makes you bleed
I heal by healing you

When the night descends
Iíll protect you from harm
And my brokenness mends
In the comfort of your arms

REPEAT CHORUS

Because of you I think I can
Once again be a dreaming man

REPEAT CHORUS

©Ricki E. Bellos (BMI)

#1041929 - 03/10/14 03:58 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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I love this. The vocal, melody and lyrics.
Reminds me of something Steve Earle would come up with.
Production wise, if it was me I would simplify the guitar rhythm until you get to:
"Youíre a dangerous girl ..." where you can bring in the steady rhythm and another instrument (maybe organ, bass and simple drum pattern).

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

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#1041934 - 03/10/14 05:06 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Vicarn]  
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E Swartz Offline
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Ohio
Hey Ricky,

I really enjoyed this song. A real sweet listen too. It has an interesting melody, nice rhythm which makes for a nice ballad. You could take production several ways--I think it a Zack Brown Band type of production or vibe might be cool.

The lead singer? He sounds a lot like "early 60's Wayne Newton," ----not really! I just said that to jab at the real singer--I recognized him immediately, but won't give it away this early in your post, oK?

Nice write,

steady-eddie.

#1041936 - 03/10/14 06:12 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: E Swartz]  
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Calvin Offline
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Hi Ricki,

I like your song a lot.
I also like the vocalist, but I sure don't know who it is.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1041957 - 03/10/14 09:51 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Calvin]  
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Pat Feely Offline
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Gut feeling i love it, this is what the real world is all about.

Love the way the guitar chords sings with you and your lyrics, your last verse speaks volumes.

When the night descends
Iíll protect you from harm
And my brokenness mends
In the comfort of your arms

Says it all, Brilliant.

#1041960 - 03/10/14 10:37 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Pat Feely]  
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Crozet, VA
Hey Ricki,

Dang, I know that voice, but ... hey it's Kurt! I can hear the "ricki" phrasing in there, too. I think the recording is mighty fine and the song is a good listen. Good luck with it, whatever your plans might be.

Are you know a full time power broker behind the scenes (ha, ha)? For extra instrumentation, just some bass, congas and other light percussion, with a piano here and there would be just fine. .. or maybe a cello -- they always add a comfortable, but slightly different sound to these types of songs.


"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @ FAWM 2018)
#1041970 - 03/11/14 01:09 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Mackie H. Offline
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Mackie H.  Offline
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NASHVILLE, TN
RICKI--

Sounds Great!

Write On--

Mackie

#1041976 - 03/11/14 01:43 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Mackie H.]  
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Tampa
Ricki,

Lyrically it's a good mix. The verses have interesting statements that are somewhat vague, but imply enough of a story to allow the listener to fill in the blanks themselves -however they might. Then, both the chorus and bridge have a solid, single thought/meaning.

The acoustic rhythm works nicely. You could add a solid, rock bass line and a hard-hitting drum pattern - steady kick/snare - with a full Eagles-type harmony on the chorus and bridge and it would soar...

floyd

#1041993 - 03/11/14 10:03 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: floyd jane]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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yes,of course it's Kurt!Really nice sound!Mike

#1042011 - 03/11/14 01:05 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
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Lisa Gundling Offline
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Hi Ricki,

What a great song -- it sounds really lovely! And it has a charm to it that delights me!

One thing -- I'm not crazy about the image of her licking his wounds...although it does give it a sort of rawness that's real and it does catch the listener's attention!

Lisa

#1042015 - 03/11/14 01:29 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Lisa Gundling]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
Hi Vic,

As I have little ear for production, I appreciate your thoughts on it and glad you liked the song. Thanks,

Ricki

#1042016 - 03/11/14 01:32 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
Hi Steady Eddie,

The cat's out of the bag now, but if you knew it was Kurt, you were right! smile

Thanks for listening and the Zack Brown Band suggestion, and glad you liked the song.

Ricki

#1042044 - 03/11/14 06:15 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,704
Kurt Fortmeyer Offline
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Kurt Fortmeyer  Offline
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Tennessee
Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Hello JPFrs all over the world. I would like to share this guitar/vocal I recently had demoed. Can you identify the singer? smile

I don't need a critique as such, although all opinions are valuable. Mainly I'm looking for gut reactions to it, lyrically and musically.

Also, if you were to add more production, what would it be? Thanks,

Ricki

https://soundcloud.com/rickib/dangerous-girl

DANGEROUS GIRL

When thereís no fight left
And I let life beat me
You lick my wounds yourself
Wonít let it defeat me

With just a few words
And your steady gaze
I feel this living curse
Slowly slip away

Youíre a dangerous girl
Fill my head with visions of the world
And who I could be
But baby look at me
Iím just a simple man in love
With a dangerous girl

Itís not just about me
Iíve learned to help you too
I know what makes you bleed
I heal by healing you

When the night descends
Iíll protect you from harm
And my brokenness mends
In the comfort of your arms

REPEAT CHORUS

Because of you I think I can
Once again be a dreaming man

REPEAT CHORUS

©Ricki E. Bellos (BMI)



Cool song, Ricki.
It's about vampires, right?
I kinda like that singer. Maybe I'll use him on my next record. Could you hook us up?


I love words. They say so much.

http://kurtfortmeyer.com
#1042054 - 03/11/14 08:38 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Kurt Fortmeyer]  
Joined: Dec 2008
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John Lawrence Schick Offline
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PA
Gut feeling? It's workin' good! Couldn't guess, though yeah, could be Kurt's signature voice.

Best, John smile


#1042056 - 03/11/14 08:47 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: John Lawrence Schick]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,942
maccharles Online content
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maccharles  Online Content
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This is good, well done, straight ahead guitar/vocal....I don't know that I'd change much. Regarding being fleshed out, I'd kick in after that first turn around and add drums/guitar and bass.....I don't hear much else.

I do hear guitar in the style of say David Grissom floating around in my head while listening.

two cents,

well done.

#1042057 - 03/11/14 08:49 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: maccharles]  
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maccharles Online content
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maccharles  Online Content
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Oh, by the way....I heard it so strongly in my head, that I was going to pick up my guitar and noodle around with it....but........my gear is packed. frown

#1042111 - 03/12/14 12:43 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: maccharles]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
Hi Calvin,

Thanks for checking it out. It's fun watching your play progress. Congrats on that.

Ricki

#1042112 - 03/12/14 12:44 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Hi Pat,

Thanks for checking out the song. Always go with your gut. smile

Ricki

#1042114 - 03/12/14 12:47 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Wisconsin
Hi Kevin,

Yes indeed, it is Kurt and I think he did a fine job. "Ricki phrasing"? :)Thanks for the input and I'm glad you enjoyed your listen.

Ricki

#1042131 - 03/12/14 08:09 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Janice_and_Bud Offline
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Janice_and_Bud  Offline
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I'm down with Vicarn on the Steve Earle vibe and, my book, that's a good thing! I also feel that floyd's comments re the drum/bass suggestion and Eagles type harmony would really work. But, even with a sparse presentation the strength of the tune is so obvious. I like it!


Check out our album Janice Merritt "All Over The Map"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora and others.
#1042208 - 03/13/14 03:38 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Janice_and_Bud]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Hi Mackie,

Thanks for listening.

Ricki

#1042209 - 03/13/14 03:40 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Hi Floyd,

Thanks for the favorable critique and production input.

Ricki

#1042210 - 03/13/14 03:42 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Hi Mike,

Yep, Kurt all the way. Thanks for listening.

Ricki

#1042211 - 03/13/14 03:44 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Hi Lisa,

Attention is what it's all about, right? smile I'm delighted that you're delighted!

Ricki

#1042313 - 03/14/14 12:51 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Yeah, me and that singer are really tight now man. Name the time and place! Kurt! You're the only one who really gets me! :0
Thanks, Dude.

Ricki

#1042314 - 03/14/14 12:52 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Hi John,

Thanks for listening and glad it works for you.

Ricki

#1042315 - 03/14/14 12:53 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Hi Mac,

Thanks for taking time to listen and for your production ideas. By all means, unpack that gear and start noodling! smile

Ricki

#1042327 - 03/14/14 03:24 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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ben willis Offline
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Great song Ricki. Love Kurt's vocal.
I don't know where you want to go with it genre wise. If country, I can hear a dobro. If americana, I can hear hear Floyd's suggestion.

You can do just about anything with it and it'll sound good.

#1042330 - 03/14/14 04:02 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: ben willis]  
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HI Ricki- I am a little late to the game, between dental surgery, complications and then an ice storm and no power, I am playing catch up

This is really nice, I agree with Ed, I hear some Zac Brown vibe in it...kinda like his recent song Sweet Annie..

I find no nits to speak of.

Great job girl and KURT smile

Kimberly


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
#1042385 - 03/15/14 01:04 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: KimberlyinNC]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Thanks for your input Janice & Bud. I was thinking Guy Clark or Rodney Crowell but Steve Earle sounds good too! Glad you like it.

Ricki

#1042386 - 03/15/14 01:05 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Hi Ben.

Thanks for listening and your production ideas. Glad you like it.

Ricki

#1042387 - 03/15/14 01:07 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Hi Kim,

Thanks for taking time to listen and comment. Glad you like it. Zak Brown? I'll take that too. smile Thanks,

Ricki

#1042452 - 03/16/14 04:19 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Moosesong Online content
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Moosesong  Online Content
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Roseville, CA, USA
I really like it. Catchy title. Very good lyrics. Beautiful sentiment.


David Hunkins
Music page
www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=707030

The Russian government interfered in the 2016 presidential election in sweeping and
systematic fashion. Evidence of Russian government operations began to surface in mid-2016..


https://www.justice.gov/storage/report.pdf
#1042467 - 03/16/14 01:20 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Moosesong]  
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TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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New Hampshire
Kurt did a great vocal on this! Really like the melody, did hear more instruments in my head...know they cost moola, but I agree the genre can bend many ways.

Not excited about the "lick" line, but love "I heal by healing you".......

Miss you Ricki, so happy to see you and hear your work again, hope you stick around!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#1042531 - 03/17/14 12:35 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: TamsNumber4]  
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Tom Franz Offline
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Tom Franz  Offline
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Hey Mrs. Bellos.
Hope you and your husband are well.
Ricki I could go two ways on the production question. I can hear a calipso/Island feel to this. You know kind of a sunny feel to the music. Which could work in my mind as this is redemptive message.
I could also hear a heavier electric guitar driven arrangement as well. With that hook at the end of the chorus finishing with a minor cord creating more of a foreboding feeling.

I have listened several times and if I am to answer your first question of what my gut reaction to the song is:
I'm thinking that a fuller arrangement could enhance the emotion of the lyric. It could also help create separation of the parts.

Kurt did a fine job, he has a voice of which I am jealous. And this was a very nice song to listen to. As it got better with each listen.

Tom

#1042747 - 03/18/14 11:20 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Tom Franz]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Hi David,

Cool cat! Glad you liked the song and for letting me know. Thanks.

Ricki

#1042751 - 03/18/14 11:30 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Hi Tams,

Thanks for weighing in. Yeah, the "lick" line...it's an acquired taste! :0

Ricki

#1042753 - 03/18/14 11:34 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Hi Tom,

Great to "see" you! Thanks for all your production ideas. Glad you liked the song well enough to tolerate all those listens! Kurt did a great job, I don't care what they say about him! :0

Ricki

#1052549 - 07/07/14 08:00 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Kurt Fortmeyer Offline
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Kurt Fortmeyer  Offline
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Tennessee
Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Hi Tom,

Great to "see" you! Thanks for all your production ideas. Glad you liked the song well enough to tolerate all those listens! Kurt did a great job, I don't care what they say about him! :0

Ricki


What a coincidence...Kurt doesn't care what they say about him either.


I love words. They say so much.

http://kurtfortmeyer.com
#1052560 - 07/07/14 10:21 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Kurt Fortmeyer]  
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Dave Rice Offline
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Dave Rice  Offline
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Texas
Hi Ricki:

Great song and you got your money's worth in Kurt's vocal. Good luck with the song as you pitch it in today's difficult and overcrowded music market. The demo is really good and certainly not an "overkill." Those with good ears and talent will know exactly how they want to arrange the song if they pick it up. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Dave

#1053492 - 07/18/14 12:44 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Dave Rice]  
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Bugsey Offline
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Bugsey  Offline
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Good song. Is that Kurt Fortmeyer singing?

Soundin like Tom Petty there.

Cool stuff!

#1115027 - 09/06/16 12:04 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Bugsey]  
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Kurt Fortmeyer Offline
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Kurt Fortmeyer  Offline
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Originally Posted by Bugsey
Good song. Is that Kurt Fortmeyer singing?

Soundin like Tom Petty there.

Cool stuff!


Yup.


I love words. They say so much.

http://kurtfortmeyer.com
#1115032 - 09/06/16 12:49 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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WriterTomYeager Offline
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WriterTomYeager  Offline
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My gut reaction to it-both lyrically and musically..Here I go Geronimo..

You have done much much better stuff than this Ricki..I know demo's cost money-did you hit the lottery and not tell us about it-cause this was just so boring and amateur hour from start to finish it about put me to sleep......Not a single hook..Kurt's guitar strumming was completely uninteresting...It was a real endurance test.....Lyrically and musically...Kevlar helmet-check/Full body armor-check...Thats my gut reaction to it...

Yes I know-i will be sorry.....

I have some stuff that sucks as well.


Keep em coming......

Tom

#1115035 - 09/06/16 01:33 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: WriterTomYeager]  
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Kurt Fortmeyer Offline
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Kurt Fortmeyer  Offline
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Originally Posted by WriterTomYeager

Kurt's guitar strumming was completely uninteresting...
Tom


If it was my playing, it would have been less interesting than that. Tim Galloway (from Gary Allan's band) played the guitar. He pretty much copied what Ricki sent.


I love words. They say so much.

http://kurtfortmeyer.com
#1115038 - 09/06/16 01:45 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Kurt Fortmeyer]  
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WriterTomYeager Offline
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WriterTomYeager  Offline
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Well it was just boring Kurt..

Ricki paid for a demo-she got a demo.

Tell me with a straight face that song wouldnt get killed in 10 seconds or less in a publisher pitch....I assume Ricki plans pitching it if she paid for a pro demo..And unless she hit the lottery that was hard earned money for her to have that thing fully demoed at the expense of much better stuff she has done in the past......

Tom

#1115040 - 09/06/16 10:23 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: WriterTomYeager]  
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Kurt Fortmeyer Offline
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Kurt Fortmeyer  Offline
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Originally Posted by WriterTomYeager
Well it was just boring Kurt..

Ricki paid for a demo-she got a demo.

Tell me with a straight face that song wouldnt get killed in 10 seconds or less in a publisher pitch....I assume Ricki plans pitching it if she paid for a pro demo..And unless she hit the lottery that was hard earned money for her to have that thing fully demoed at the expense of much better stuff she has done in the past......

Tom


Tom,
I can't help but feel like you're accusing me of taking advantage of Ricki in some way. She approached me about doing a "guitar/vocal" recording (NOT a "full demo") for her. I told her that I had never done anything like that, but I would be willing to try. She was looking for a Guy Clark/Rodney Crowell vibe, but I think I came across a little more like Steve Earle. I was trepidatious about the whole endeavor, since I live pretty much on a shoestring myself, and can certainly appreciate not wanting to waste anyone's money. It didn't cost her an arm and a leg...more like a toenail compared to what some people would charge.
I can't tell you whether or not it would get killed (and in how much time) at a "publisher pitch". I don't even know if that is a real thing anymore, or just something that NSAI stages to keep people's hopes up (and their money flowing).
In terms of the quality of this song compared to the rest of Ricki's catalog, I'm sure there was a reason that she wanted to record it. She seemed pleased with it, which was a load off my mind. I'd like to say that I'm sorry you don't like it, but I also know that you can't please everybody. Thanks for proving that old axiom to be true.
Kurt


I love words. They say so much.

http://kurtfortmeyer.com
#1115045 - 09/06/16 12:38 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: WriterTomYeager]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Hi Tom, Wow! Now tell me what you really think! smile

I guess I've written better songs, and worse ones. Some I choose to take to a higher level, others I don't. You've made a few erroneous assumptions here. I wanted and received a simple guitar/vocal for this song. I'll take it farther at some point, not with the intention to "pitch" to anyone though. More because it pleases me. I like it and to get beyond my own gate keeper is a major accomplishment for me.

I had to talk Kurt into singing for me but I'm grateful that he agreed to do it. He suggested another guitar player because he didn't feel his playing was good enough and I was also grateful for that. It's an excellent guitar track that will be built upon at a later date, making the instrumentation more "interesting".

I'm not sorry that you don't like my song. You feel what you feel, but I am sorry that you think you have to defend your negative critique. As the song goes, you can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself, which is what I'm doing with my writing. Why do you write, and how is that working out for you?

Ricki




#1115059 - 09/06/16 03:42 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Kurt Fortmeyer]  
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WriterTomYeager Offline
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WriterTomYeager  Offline
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Harrisonburg,Virtginia
No Kurt

To be very clear-I never ever thought or meant to say that you took advantage of her.......If thats how it came off I apologize.

You did what she wanted......You have integrity-you are not out to victimize anybody etc etc.....

I just thought it really sucked and my honesty gets me in trouble all the time...You are also honest and you did exactly what she wanted.....I would myself reccomend you to anyone for a good studio production in Nashville....

Again my apologies...

I can indeed be a A-Hole sometimes but I do mean well....

Best to you


Tom

#1115060 - 09/06/16 03:49 PM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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WriterTomYeager Offline
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WriterTomYeager  Offline
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Well Ricki

Writing is a compulsion in my case....If and when I think of stuff I go with the flow....

If its crap I depend on my co-writers to tell me that.......

Because my co-writers do this for money......

I do this for money myself-or more precisely the hope and pursuit of money someday....

This aint a hobby with me....

This is-rightly or wrongly my professional identity..

Again sorry for being so blunt and best to you in all things musical and otherwise......Cya round JPF grin

Last edited by WriterTomYeager; 09/06/16 04:23 PM.
#1116011 - 09/22/16 09:14 AM Re: Dangerous Girl [Re: WriterTomYeager]  
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Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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This is exceptional Ricki and co!Great feel to it and message too
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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