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Here's a new works in progress by Scott and myself. This is our first draft. Any and all feedback is welcome

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=13329946&q=hi&newref=1

Hijacked My Heart

Hangin out at the waterin hole
Got my sights on That girl drinkin shots of patrone
Time to go do some introducing
But I can’t stop looking at the way she’s movin
From the moment she smiled at me I could tell
That I had fallen under her spell

Chorus
And now it's too late to late too late
it looks like this playboy's been played
She was stealin my feelins right from the start
And I was fighting, fightin, fighting, fightin real hard
But her charms broke down my guard
with a couple stealth moves She hijacked my heart

I don't know how she up and did it
But now we're goin to dinners and watching chick flicks
Winning pink teddy bears at the local church fair
Walkin hand in hand just bout everywhere
watching sunsets as we sit in the sand
I guess you could say this wasn't part of my plan

Chorus
And now it's too late to late too late
it looks like this playboy's been played
She was stealin my feelins right from the start
And I was fighting, fightin, fighting, fightin real hard
But her charms broke down my guard
with a couple stealth moves She hijacked my heart

the most beautiful thief in the night
She can rob me blind any time she likes

Now I leave my doors unlocked and my love's in plain sight
So she can rob me blind any time she likes

Chorus
And now it's too late to late too late
it looks like this playboy's been played
She was stealin my feelins right from the start
And I was fighting, fightin, fighting, fightin real hard
But her charms broke down my guard
with a couple stealth moves She hijacked my heart
She hijacked my heart
Hijacked my heart
She hijacked my heart

Last edited by RogerS; 03/08/16 08:37 PM.

Roger Sosnowski
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Hey there Roger.
Good to hear you're still at it.

Cool sentiment and it sounds good to my ears.
I mainly liked verse 2, where you named some of the changes to his life style... visual and funny.

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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Nelson,

Thanks for taking your time to give this one a listen. I think we have a ways to go on this but it never hurts to send it out for ideas. Thanks again,
Roger


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sounds like he got more than he bargained for Roger.I like it!Mike

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Hi guys,

I really like this. The singer phrases the lines beautifully and the musical composition in very nice. For a first draft, everything seems here that you need to take it to the next level.

The only line I considered for rewriting was "fighting, fighting fighting fighting real hard" --as in maybe find some words that rhyme with fighting and use them, along with fighting, in that line.

Love "stealth moves" --very nice work!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

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from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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It's all there and flowing nicely, Roger.
Go get it.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

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Hi Roger/Scott

Nice job.

I especially liked this line....

She was stealin my feelins right from the start


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

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Hiya Roger!

Hope all's well with you and yours....

Anyhoo, reallllly liked this one. The lyrics were terrific, with lots of vivid images and fab internal rhymes (for which I am a total sucker!), and the musication had just the right tone for conveying our hero's pleasant befuddlement.

Nice work!!

Beth


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Cool, nice feeling with this one, Roger & Scott. Is that an alternate bridge right before the one you sang? If so, I think you chose the better one.

Only nit would be that fourth line in the chorus. Maybe something like,

I was fightin all the way, I was fightin real hard

Just a thought. Well done.

Ricki

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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Mike,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. Glad you liked it in it's early stages.

Last edited by RogerS; 03/11/16 09:19 PM.

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Hey that's sounding pretty good! A lot of nice internal rhymes....

I think I would change the line

But her charms broke down my guard

to something like:
She was so quick, slipped under my guard


That one just stood out for me.....

It's gonna be fun hearing this one developed!

iggyiggy

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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Mike,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. Wasn't sure about the stealth moves line--glad you liked it, Take care,
Rioger


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Hey Roger:

It's a nice story and it's got a catchy chorus. I'd say you're over the hump. Looking forward to hearing it with a fuller production.

Hope retirement is working for you. smile

Scott

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Hi Roger and Scott:

I like the song. Next cut, find a way to soften the guitar(s) when the vocalist is at work. So much potential here. Can't wait to hear your next recording of Hi Jacked!

Best of luck, ----Dave

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Roger & Scott, This might be the kind of song the Nashville bigwigs are looking for. The story line of a macho playboy p-whipped into line and feminized by a beautiful woman is sure to appeal to plenty of women-folk. And from what they say, it's the women who drive the country music market these days. But you might have some trouble pitching a song like this because I'm not sure how many guys would want to sing it. But send it around and see if you get any bites.


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

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Hi Vic,

Thanks for giving thins one a listen. Glad you liked it. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
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Hi Calvin,

Thanks for taking your time to give this one a listen. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
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Roger, great job on this - cool song and great chorus.

Bob

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Post deleted by E Swartz

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Hi Beth,

Sorry--I'm a bit behind on my responses. Nice to see more familiar names on this site. I had been away for a couple of years. Thanks for the kind words on tis one. Glad you liked and and also glad you're still on the site. Take Care,
Roger


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Hi Ricki,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. That was another bridge we were toying with--just forgot to delete it,lol. I like the suggestion you made as well--I'll send it to Scott and see what he thinks. Take care,
Roger


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Hi Iggyiggy,

Thanks for listening to this song--we appreciate it. Also thanks for the comments they mean a lot. We''ll see where we end up with this one,lol. Take care,
roger


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Roger/Scott--

Sounds like a winner--Good Luck--

Mackie

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Hi Scott,

Thanks for giving this one a listen. BTW--retirement is great. Every day is the weekend,lol. Take care,
Roger


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Roger,

Sorry I deleted my post, I just thought you had abandoned the thread after it had been 16-17 days. I listened again, nice song.

steady-eddie.

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I love this song, the acoustics, writing all of it...good song Roger

one other thing: I always liked a song ending like that..

Last edited by lane1777; 04/10/16 12:47 AM.


"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent
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RogerS Offline OP
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Hi Dave,

Sorry I took so long to respond--now that I'm retired I'm busier than ever,lol. Thanks for the suggestion on the guitar--I will pass it on to Scott--he's the musician of the team. Thanks for giving it a listen we appreciate it. Take care,
Roger


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Hi Dan,

Hello fellow neighbor,lol. Thanks for the kind words on this one--we appreciate it. In this day and age I'm not really sure what the big wigs are looking for. Country sure has changed in the last 5 years. Not sure we will ever get to a demo on this or pitch it--but I guess ya never know. Take care,
Roger


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Hi Bob,

Tryin to get caught up on my responses--just got back from 9 days in Cancun,lol. Thanks for giving this one a listen. Glad you liked it


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Hi Mackie,

Good to hear from you. Thanks for the kind words. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
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Hi Eddie,

Lol--yeah I've been a bit late on my responses. Thanks for giving this one a listen. We're in the process of changing some things so stay tuned,lol. Take care,
Roger


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Hi Lane,

Just realized I never responded back to you--sorry about that. I must be getting old,lol. Thanks for giving this one a listen--we appreciate it. We are working on some changes and will repost when it is done. Also thanks for the kind words--glad you liked it


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Sounding good. Fits in with whats been on the radio the last few years. Might be late to the party with this type of theme and imagery, but you never know what might happen!


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
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Hi Kevin,

Sorry I missed your reply--good to hear from you. Hope everything's going well for you.
We're in the middle of some changes based on a professional critique we got,lol. Not sure it will ever get to the demo stage--we shall see. Thanks for taking your time to check this one out. Take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music

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