11 members (Fdemetrio, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, JAPOV, bennash, couchgrouch, Bill Draper, 3 invisible),
1,219
guests, and
257
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Chance By Jacqueline Richter Copyright 2016 All rights reserved. BMI Brings joy with his smile and a twinkle in his eye Waits in his wheelchair as the bus drives by He sometimes seemed naughty Teacher didn't mind Thought Chance was so Special So loving and kind Being different isn't easy signs with his little hands excited to see what teacher has planned He sometimes seemed naughty Teacher didn't mind Thought Chance was so Special So loving and kind Thinks about her life as she wipes his chin Wonders if she could adopt a little boy like him He sometimes seemed naughty Teacher didn't mind Thought Chance was so Special So loving and kind She is thankful they gave her a Chance. https://www.reverbnation.com/jacquelinerichter/song/13756688-nashville-by-jacquelinerichter
Last edited by Jackie444; 12/16/17 12:17 PM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Should my verses be in a different order?
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Jackie. Not a simple subject for a song but you did fine with it. I got the message quite early so I think you should replace or drop the last verse (he was born different ....) It reads awkward and you don't need it to tell the story.
Vic
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Thanks Vic. I agree I'm going to delete that one. Thank you for your feedback. -Jackie
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
I don't know if I agree with that. Think you should keep the being "born different" part for emotional effect. I myself had what they now refer to as Asperger's Syndrome although that name didn't exist when I was a child, so that made me a little different as well. But, wouldn't it be a very boring world if we were all the same.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Hi Beachnut Thank you for your feedback. It is not easy being different. I work with children with special needs. I am trying to put a lot of emotion in to the song to make others understand. -Jackie
Last edited by Jackie444; 04/03/16 10:44 PM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
This is the kind of song that appeals to country music fans. Possibly an album cut.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Hi Jim, I am really glad you liked it. Thank you so much. I really hope it goes places. : ) -Jackie
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Post deleted by Jackie444
Last edited by Jackie444; 04/09/16 07:25 PM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
When I see a lyric like this, I realize how trivial my own problems are.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Thanks Jim. I work with children with physical disabilities, I love them all.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
Am trying to think what more I can add to this one. I believe it brings a positive aspect to those who are born different or become that way's through life's happenstance.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710 |
Jackie, It's rare to find a such a well-written narrative lyric filled with this kind of emotion and feeling. You have painted a portrait in just a handful of verses. Whether or not there's a real life Chance or he's just an archetype doesn't matter. He exists now in your lyric. You brought him to life.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Thank you Dan. I am glad you liked it.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Thank you Beachnut79. I am glad that you like it.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
Hi Jackie. I like where you are going with this one. I have been doodling a bit with your lyrics and have some ideas if you are interested.
God Bless Roy and Helen
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Hi Roy, I would to see what you have. Thanks, Jackie
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
I'm so sorry Jackie, I seem to have lost the notes that I made when looking at your lyrics. I will try to remember my thoughts.
God Bless Roy and Helen
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
How can I make this song better? Help please. Think I need another verse. What though?
Last edited by Jackie444; 12/16/17 03:10 AM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
Hi Jackie.. had another look and doodled somewhat.
please use, lose, or abuse all or parts of my offering.
----------------------- Chance By Jacqueline Richter Copyright 2016 All rights reserved. BMI
He sometimes seemed naughty Teacher didn't mind Thought Chance was so Special So loving and kind
She saw joy in his smile Then the bus drove on by Still he sat in his wheelchair Refusing to cry
He knew he was differant would talk with his hands Every day was exciting To see what was planned
He sometimes seemed naughty Teacher didn't mind Thought Chance was so Special So loving and kind
Gave thanks for her life, In which Chance played a role 'cause when she was with him, He made her feel whole.
He sometimes seemed naughty Teacher didn't mind Thought Chance was so Special So loving and kind
She was always so greatful, To be given a Chance..
God Bless Roy and Helen
Last edited by Roy Cooper; 12/16/17 06:52 AM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 731 |
Hi Roy, So sweet! Thanks for taking the time to look at this one. You are so talented. I love it! I shared the The Magic of Christmas last night, lol. It is hard to find time to write with working full time. Thanks for some ideas.
I am thinking that the song needs to tell a little more.
Jackie
Last edited by Jackie444; 12/16/17 12:22 PM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
Hi Roy, So sweet! Thanks for taking the time to look at this one. You are so talented. I love it! I shared the The Magic of Christmas last night, lol. It is hard to find time to write with working full time. Thanks for some ideas.
I am thinking that the song needs to tell a little more.
Jackie Your welcome Jackie. I have always found your lyrics to be inspirational and therefor easier for me to work on. By the way, I had OUR Christmas song redone with a new singer, here is the link to the youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=3-8zyluWft4God Bless Roy and Helen if I can think of some more for your 'Chance' song I will...
Last edited by Roy Cooper; 12/16/17 01:54 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
It's a nice idea, Jackie. Maybe try to eliminate some cliché, (a twinkle in his eye, loving and kind etc.) Good luck with it.
Vic
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,580 Likes: 13
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,580 Likes: 13 |
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 134 |
Well you certainly captured the feeling in a few short verses. nice work I like this.
Just a writer of words
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,754
Posts1,161,302
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|