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#1101020 - 02/25/16 06:46 PM Cheap Wood & Strings (2016)  
Joined: Feb 2013
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GocartMoz Offline
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This is a new recording of a song I first wrote and recorded back in 2013. I thought the initial recording lacked any energy and dragged a bit. I re-arranged it, added a bunch of new instrumentation and tweaked the lyric a bit. Would love to have your thoughts on this new version.

CHEAP WOOD & STRINGS (2016)
Music & Lyrics by David S. Beccker
(c)2013, 2016 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/cheap-wood-strings-1

INTRO
VERSE 1

Just a wide eyed child's wish
A beat up guitar by the tree
A Christmas morning filled with dreams
All made from cheap wood & strings
With his microphone and air guitar in hand
He grew up on the stage
Days and nights in isolation
And every song a new creation

CHORUS
And he would play with wild abandon
His fans would scream his name and cheer
Each song he played
A new emotion filled his heart
Each song he wrote would climb the charts

INTERLUDE
VERSE 2

I just turned 50 and I move slower everyday
I'll spend this Christmas by the fire
And I made a special Christmas wish this year
For Cheap Wood & Strings a dreamer's gear
Come Monday it's the same old grind
The same ole' 9 to 5
Years of pent up frustration
Emerge as song and celebration

CHORUS
INTERLUDE
INSTRUMENTAL BREAK
CHORUS
INTERLUDE
OUTRO

One day my songs will top the charts

#1101021 - 02/25/16 07:24 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Dave,
Although I didn't hear it the first time around, this one certainly didn't drag to me. Nice job, never lost interest.
One suggestion on the lyric, substitute "elation" for isolation, seems more appropriate to the song idea to me.
Thanks for sharing,
Skip

#1101031 - 02/25/16 08:21 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: swestern]  
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this is a good one Dave,i think we all got us a guitar or something to make noise with when we were kids.My first instrument was those springy door stops,i used to love popping those things.Mike

#1101033 - 02/25/16 08:26 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Hi Dave,

I love the pedaled tonic/root/one, over the five chord in the intro, and the composition unfolds beautifully, and your vocal captures the emotion of this boy growing up, and that's a blistering yet poignant guitar solo. smile

Love it!!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/25/16 08:27 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101034 - 02/25/16 08:49 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Dave, Nice job. Lots of energy in this version. That's quite a production you put into it. I like the opening and closing ethereal sound. No suggestion or nits from me.


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

https://dansullivan2.bandcamp.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dansullivan2
#1101061 - 02/26/16 09:53 AM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: Dan Sullivan]  
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Calvin Online content
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Hi Dave,

Very nicely put together.
Good performance !!
I really enjoyed the interlude and this line......

Each song he wrote would climb the charts

Well done.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1101070 - 02/26/16 12:26 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: Calvin]  
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Vicarn Online content
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Nice one Dave.
I like the arrangement. Kept my interest throughout.
For me, the guitars, when you're singing are a little loud.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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#1101074 - 02/26/16 02:02 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: swestern]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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Originally Posted by swestern
Dave,
One suggestion on the lyric, substitute "elation" for isolation, seems more appropriate to the song idea to me.
Skip


Thx much swestern for the comments and suggestions. "Elation" would not, in my opinion, work to advance the intent behind the original lyric. Though the song is not about me, per se, I used some of myown experience as an inspiration. I spent countless hours, as a kid, in my room listening to music and dreaming of being a part of it. Though it was my own doing, I was basically "isolated" from the outside world, in my own room, living in a fantasy world. That was the intended meaning. I don't think "Elated" would work given that context. Thx much for your thoughts regardless.

Dave

Last edited by GocartMoz; 02/26/16 02:15 PM.
#1101118 - 02/26/16 07:41 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Travis david Online content
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Excellent arrangement and all round production Dave.best of luck with it
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1101131 - 02/26/16 09:14 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Mackie H. Offline
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Dave--

You have a winner with this one!

Keep up the good work!

Mackie

#1101144 - 02/26/16 10:07 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Dave, I like the feel and idea of this overall but it seems to me like you're writing 2 songs here.

V1 is about a dreamer, a kid, getting a beat up used guitar for Christmas. Later in that verse you reference an air guitar, but didn't he just get a real one? Speaking chronologically, wouldn't the last 2 lines about his isolation and songwriting come before the mic and guitar and growing up on the stage?

That all flows nicely into the chorus, showing how everything in V1 leads up to his later success.

But in V2, you're definitely making it about you, the singer, which is OK but you're not really saying if it was you in V1 as well. If it isn't, then who was the boy? And if it was you, then what happened that you would be wishing for an old guitar again? Did you crash and burn and lose everything? Now all you can do is celebrate your frustrations by writing songs?

There is a disconnect between the verses. If they are about 2 different people with similar dreams but different outcomes, there still needs to be something that ties them together. And if they are the same person, that needs to be more obvious. And if the kid was only wishing about the things in the chorus, that needs to be more obvious as well.

As it stands now, singing the chorus after V2 doesn't make as much sense as it does following V1 because you go from talking about you to talking about "him", whoever "he" is.

There is a good chance that I've missed the point of the song altogether, in which case, just tell me and I'll skulk back into the shadows. smile

Ricki

#1101146 - 02/26/16 10:23 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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Another stellar performance and production, Dave.
Vocals and guitar work rocks.

Sweet intro and love the some what wistful yet joyous sentiment of the chorus.
"Each song he wrote would climb the charts"

Well done, Bud


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1101151 - 02/26/16 11:57 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: Nelson]  
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@Michael L ... thx as always for the listen. It is greatly appreciated.

@Michael Z. ... thx as well for the listen and comments. I always appreciate hearing your take.

@Dan ... thx as well. Lovin' the new stuff I am hearing from you.

@Calvin ... thx as always for giving this a spin

@Vic ... thx as well for the listen and suggestions. I have always had a tendency to play too loud ... just ask my parents smile

@Travis ... thx as well for giving this a listen. Always appreciated.

@Mackie ... Thx as well ... look forward to hearing a new one from you.

@Ricki ... Thx as always for the listen ... More explanation on tune in following post

@Nelson ... thx as always for your ear. It is always appreciated.

Dave

#1101152 - 02/27/16 12:12 AM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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[b]
Originally Posted by Ricki E. Bellos
Dave, I like the feel and idea of this overall but it seems to me like you're writing 2 songs here.

V1 is about a dreamer, a kid, getting a beat up used guitar for Christmas. Later in that verse you reference an air guitar, but didn't he just get a real one? Speaking chronologically, wouldn't the last 2 lines about his isolation and songwriting come before the mic and guitar and growing up on the stage?

That all flows nicely into the chorus, showing how everything in V1 leads up to his later success.

But in V2, you're definitely making it about you, the singer, which is OK but you're not really saying if it was you in V1 as well. If it isn't, then who was the boy? And if it was you, then what happened that you would be wishing for an old guitar again? Did you crash and burn and lose everything? Now all you can do is celebrate your frustrations by writing songs?

There is a disconnect between the verses. If they are about 2 different people with similar dreams but different outcomes, there still needs to be something that ties them together. And if they are the same person, that needs to be more obvious. And if the kid was only wishing about the things in the chorus, that needs to be more obvious as well.

As it stands now, singing the chorus after V2 doesn't make as much sense as it does following V1 because you go from talking about you to talking about "him", whoever "he" is.

There is a good chance that I've missed the point of the song altogether, in which case, just tell me and I'll skulk back into the shadows. smile

Ricki


OK Ricki, I am going to break my rule of thumb of never explaining the meaning of my lyric and explain what I intended anyway. I understand your confusion and truth be told, I enjoy creating confusion. smile

This song is not about me at all, though as stated to swestern I used parts of me in fashioning some of it. The person that is the subject of verse 1 and verse 2 were intended to be one and the same. The reason he is playing an air guitar in verse 1 after seemingly getting a real guitar for Christmas is because his Christmas wish did not come true. He never got the guitar. That fact, however, didn't end the subject's fantasy, which he lived out day after day, in isolation, in his room. In his own mind he became a guitar hero and hit making songwriter, who "grew up on the stage." Again, this was solely in his mind. It wasn't reality.

Verse 2 ... Fast Forward many many years and the subject of the song is now a grown man. Although life has moved on and he goes about a regular 9 to 5 type job, his fantasy has not changed. He is still wishing for that "beat up old guitar."

Anyway, that was what I intended by the lyric. Obviously, it was not as clear as it could have been, but honestly sometimes I prefer it that way. I hope that clears up the confusion. smile Thx as always for your insight!

Dave

Last edited by GocartMoz; 02/27/16 12:17 AM.
#1101154 - 02/27/16 12:48 AM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Never let it be said that I haven't confused a few people with my songwriting, all because I wanted to "leave it to the listener's interpretation". grin

I think the confusion for me in this song is the changing POV, from third person in V1 to first person in V2. Does it make an already good story a better one? I don't see the benefit.

And now what I find heartbreaking is that the character didn't wish for a Martin and get cheap wood and strings instead, but rather he aimed so low, for cheap wood and strings and still ended up with nothing. That's just too sad.

OK, I'm done. Confuse me all you like with the next one as well.

Ricki

#1101156 - 02/27/16 01:28 AM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Nelson Offline
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Back for another listen and the use of the word Cheap..... well... humm.

What if you tried another adjective, maybe Simple wood or Scrap wood
or Junk wood.

Hell how bout... Fire wood.
Now that could have a double entendre. On one hand it's cheap, junk wood fit only for burning and on the other it could be a metaphor for how he dreams of burning it up, on stage.

It may not have been much fun explaining the song but I'm glad you did because I must admit Ricki's comment had me second guessing what I thought I understood the song to be about... an old Dreamer, eh?


"Dig my imaginary...... Baaand Maaan"
#1101688 - 03/04/16 02:58 AM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: Nelson]  
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Hey again Dave!

I absolutely loved this! Well done all around. I can't get over how wonderfully toned the guitar is in this mix--just rings! Great chorus hook, and solo too. My fav of yours thus far!

steady-eddie.

#1101701 - 03/04/16 12:28 PM Re: Cheap Wood & Strings (2016) [Re: E Swartz]  
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@Ricki and Nelson ... thx for the added thoughts on this one. Always appreciated.

Eddie ... Thx for giving it a listen as well. Glad you enjoyed.

Dave


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