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#1100728 - 02/20/16 09:23 PM Some Broken Things  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
https://soundcloud.com/michael-zaneski/some-broken-things

Hi all..

This song looks personal, but it's only personal in one way--I wrote it specifically for a friend who was thinking about giving up on their art, the practice of which I could see brought them much joy, and I sang a raw version to them some time ago.

It got me to thinking how I'm a bit broken, too. How do we end up feeling like this? And how come without our dreams life loses so much of it's meaning?

SO I thought, hey..there's all kinds of seemingly broken things..maybe I'll start out with some more fun kinds, and with that came the light tone of the music and song overall, and the idea of seducing my friend into actually hearing the heavier parts with this light, playful approach before they had a chance to turn off their brains to the semi-preachy V3.

Except for a few "code words" between me and the singee, there's nothing I sing here that is personally factual, I am not attached to GI Joe or those yearbooks, in terms of critiquing, so please feel free to critique away at any and all parts of this, if you're feelin' it!

BTW, it may have helped..my friend's still making art I'm happy to say!

Thanks in advance for listening!

https://soundcloud.com/michael-zaneski/some-broken-things

*************************************************************

Some Broken Things

Don't throw G I Joe away
I know the dog chewed off his head
Now he's "Super Headless Joe"
Slayer of all things undead

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day

Don't throw those old torn up yearbooks out
I was Batboy, one Halloween
Later at the All State All Saint's Dance
I kissed you, my Batgirl Queen

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day

What was it that hurt us so bad
When we were so very young
How come it can still hold us down
Why's it so damn hard to overcome

Please don't throw your dreams away
I have seen them fire up your eyes
Hold on for another day
Life is not without surprise

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day

Yeah some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day

There's beauty in them broken things
There's some diamonds in the rough
And some broken things ain't broken
When you look long enough

*************************************************************
Words and Music Michael Zaneski
(C)2016 All Rights Reserved

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/20/16 09:39 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1100730 - 02/20/16 09:35 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Dave Rice (D) Offline
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Dave Rice (D)  Offline
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Hey Michael:

So glad to hear you accomplished your mission. Another well written and well performed song. So many of us face adversity and other things that interfere with our hopes and dreams. You covered all the bases and it is an inspiring and delightful song.
Well done, my friend. ----Dave

#1100734 - 02/20/16 11:40 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Dave Rice (D)]  
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Louisiana
Top notch Michael!This is my favorite of yours [so far]!What a great message.Mike

#1100738 - 02/21/16 12:11 AM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,889
Sunset Poet Online content
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Sunset Poet  Online Content
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Houston, Texas
Nice groove.

#1100749 - 02/21/16 12:38 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Sweet, Mike. The lighter musical approach works really well because while the subject matter is not "light", the song would get too dragged down and morose with something dirge like. This keeps it playful yet still with depth. You're a good friend. I especially like the final chorus.

Ricki

#1100754 - 02/21/16 01:51 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,756
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
I like the idea and you put it together great, Michael.
Love the thought of GI Joe as a headless slayer of the undead.

Good one.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1100838 - 02/22/16 03:49 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Dave Rice (D)]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
Originally Posted by Dave Rice
Hey Michael:

So glad to hear you accomplished your mission. Another well written and well performed song. So many of us face adversity and other things that interfere with our hopes and dreams. You covered all the bases and it is an inspiring and delightful song.
Well done, my friend. ----Dave


Hi Dave,

Thanks for these kind words!

I think we all write better when it's to and for a specific individual. It really focuses the material, and our intention is usually one that we can voice aloud, and the material may be quirkier, which is usually good things, going from personal to universal not looking like everything else.

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1100839 - 02/22/16 04:06 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,893
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Great message wrapped in a song that somehow reminded me of Bread with an updated feel and your unmistakably Michael vocals.

Thumbs up from me smile






If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#1100847 - 02/22/16 05:17 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: John Voorpostel]  
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Dan Sullivan Offline
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Dan Sullivan  Offline
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MI
Michael, There's a lot to like about this song. I especially like the chorus and the ending, including the "diamonds in the rough" line. It starts out humorously but then delivers a message. Boy, with that chorus you could really make the song inspirational if you took it in a serious direction. As an example, opening with a verse something like this:

Joey came back broken from the war
He was clearing the road of mines
In between heartbeats one went off
Took away his legs and left him blind

But some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

https://dansullivan2.bandcamp.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dansullivan2
#1101028 - 02/25/16 07:14 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
Originally Posted by Michael LeBlanc
Top notch Michael!This is my favorite of yours [so far]!What a great message.Mike


Wow!

Thanks, Mike. That makes my day. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101029 - 02/25/16 07:15 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Sunset Poet]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
Originally Posted by Martin James
Nice groove.


Thanks, Martin!


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101101 - 02/26/16 05:15 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Thanks, Ricki!

I actually tried writing a slower more dirge-y song first and then I knew that was wrong in this particular occasion.

"Playful yet with depth" is what I was aiming for, so your thoughts, there, are helping me relax and believe it. smile

Thanks again. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101103 - 02/26/16 05:20 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
Originally Posted by Vicarn
I like the idea and you put it together great, Michael.
Love the thought of GI Joe as a headless slayer of the undead.

Good one.

Vic


Hi Vic,

Soon after writing the song I remembered that one of Warren Zevon's more famous tunes is "Roland, The Headless Thomspson Gunner" and it's a great song--I think it was the last thing he sang on Letterman before his passing. It was Letterman's favorite tune, and he requested Warren play it. So knowing that song, it must have figured into "the singer" re-visioning his headless GI Joe along the same lines, since "the singer" and myself have much in common. grin

Thanks for the good vibes. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/26/16 05:32 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101115 - 02/26/16 06:23 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Mike,

Wow, that's smoooooooth & COOL too !

Thanks for the musical experience :-)

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart



#1101120 - 02/26/16 06:45 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,070
Travis david Offline
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
The lyric drew me to this one Michael.Really excellent piece of writing.A great theme too
Hope its successful for you
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1101153 - 02/26/16 11:18 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,615
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Baltimore, MD
Sweet all around performance and production Mike.
A very cool message and a catchy hook.

While I dig the flow of the chorus, helped no doubt by the use of "every single" in 3 of the 4 lines and your delivery of it of course, is superb, something about the last line..... just sticks out to me.
I was wondering if you used it("every single") in the last line because it sound so sweet with the second line, as it does?

Well,I came back a couple of times this week trying to come up with something to offer in its place but you sound so damn good, I find it hard to think... creatively. (hope that makes sense)

I was tempted to just write the one line truth.... Another splendid piece by the Mike-stro and call it a day. smile

Well, today this came mind.

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day


Cuz some broken things ain't broken
just seen a different way
from - a different - point of view
That could change from day to day



#1101199 - 02/27/16 04:26 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: John Voorpostel]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by John Voorpostel
Great message wrapped in a song that somehow reminded me of Bread with an updated feel and your unmistakably Michael vocals.

Thumbs up from me smile



Thanks John,

I'll take Bread! They were some of the better stuff out of the mellow early seventies. "If" is a song that still runs through my mind occasionally, for sure. smile

Thanks for the positive Ebert vibes!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101203 - 02/27/16 04:40 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Dan Sullivan]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by Dan Sullivan
Michael, There's a lot to like about this song. I especially like the chorus and the ending, including the "diamonds in the rough" line. It starts out humorously but then delivers a message. Boy, with that chorus you could really make the song inspirational if you took it in a serious direction. As an example, opening with a verse something like this:

Joey came back broken from the war
He was clearing the road of mines
In between heartbeats one went off
Took away his legs and left him blind

But some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day


Hi Dan,

Everything you say is true, but something happens when you write a song for a friend and give it to that friend..

It kinda reminds me of the Spock/Kirk conundrum "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one." Spock makes this utilitarian assertion, but it doesn't take into account their personal relationship, and the fact that quantifying that defies logic, since human emotions are not quantifiable.

Your suggestion to take the chorus and re-work the rest of the material would be a great idea in a world where we didn't make attachments or find meaning in quirkier, lesser things. And hasn't the song you are suggesting already been written a few times, albeit with different words, but the same gist?

Ultimately, it would feel kinda feel like a betrayal to do your suggested re-write..but I realize I am not at all "logical" about this..or most things for that matter..so I'll continue to ponder this..and thanks for the thoughtful post!

Mike



Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101301 - 02/28/16 06:34 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,226
Wendy D Offline
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Wendy D  Offline
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Atlanta, GA USA
Good afternoon,

I felt compelled to add a thought about this. I wonder why you qualify "some" broken things. To me, this is a song about perspective and that though something might be changed in the breaking, it does not end with the breaking. Unless you allow it to end or see it as broken. So I think, why qualify this by using "some?"

Anyway, it is a small thing. Or is it big?

This song is adorable.


http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
#1101311 - 02/28/16 07:04 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by Calvin
Hi Mike,

Wow, that's smoooooooth & COOL too !

Thanks for the musical experience :-)

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart




Thanks Calvin,

That means a lot to me. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101312 - 02/28/16 07:08 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by Travis david
The lyric drew me to this one Michael.Really excellent piece of writing.A great theme too
Hope its successful for you
Travis


Thanks, Travis.

The lyric was written and edited all in a small time frame. At that time I was imposing constraints upon how long I could take to finish something--imagining "deadlines" that weren't really there. But I find I actually write differently and more directly with such directives at work..so I'm glad you find the writing itself to be good--when a song drops with little re-writing, one can wonder.. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/28/16 07:08 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101314 - 02/28/16 07:36 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by Nelson
Sweet all around performance and production Mike.
A very cool message and a catchy hook.

While I dig the flow of the chorus, helped no doubt by the use of "every single" in 3 of the 4 lines and your delivery of it of course, is superb, something about the last line..... just sticks out to me.
I was wondering if you used it("every single") in the last line because it sound so sweet with the second line, as it does?

Well,I came back a couple of times this week trying to come up with something to offer in its place but you sound so damn good, I find it hard to think... creatively. (hope that makes sense)

I was tempted to just write the one line truth.... Another splendid piece by the Mike-stro and call it a day. smile

Well, today this came mind.

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day


Cuz some broken things ain't broken
just seen a different way
from - a different - point of view
That could change from day to day




Hi Nelson!

To answer your first question, was my use of "every single" for purely metric/prosody oriented reasons, or was their something deeper?

I think it's something deeper. It's totally my personalty that when trying to convince someone of a point I'm making, to try to just get the door cracked a little, so a tiny shard of light gets in. Not unlike how a lawyer might cross-examine a witness. Just open the possibility of something having happened, then the jury goes "aaaaah!" and you have reasonable doubt.

When folks make rash decisions, oft times it's cuz they see no light at the end of the tunnel. So in this case, with my friend (with whom I also knew the less-is-more approach works best), I knew intuitively all I needed was a tiny little crack for the light to get in, and "every single" works to re-enforce that idea, as most of us aren't so presumptuous as to know with certainty that there will never be a crack of light to shine through in any possible scenario, until the end of time. In fact, presented as such, our imaginations often take us to the possible scenarios where things do work out, or where things aren't as broken as they might seem in those darker moments.

Let's look at your ideas:

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
just seen a different way
from - a different - point of view
That could change from day to day

This to me is a tad more didactic--like I'm informing my friend about the "truth" as it pertains to broken things, and I was trying to avoid soapboxes, and it's just a little more prosaic, to me--but I will give yours this--it would sing just fine. Yours, too, makes use of a bit of repetition with "different."

Mine is a bit didactic, too, only, in mine I'm kinda agreeing that okay, most broken things are really broke most of the time, but let's not be presumptuous and think we are as omniscient as God and think things will NEVER get better under any circumstance--which is how, to me, the chorus reads as I have it--and that some is important in there, as well as those repetitions of "every single."

Anyway, thanks for getting me to think and articulate this. Most of us write with our "intention" semi--cloaked, and though I always try to know what I'm saying in everything except the most abstract of lyrics, there's layers to this stuff!

I really appreciate your interactive post, Nelson. Thanks again. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/28/16 09:10 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101318 - 02/28/16 08:46 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by Wendy D
Good afternoon,

I felt compelled to add a thought about this. I wonder why you qualify "some" broken things. To me, this is a song about perspective and that though something might be changed in the breaking, it does not end with the breaking. Unless you allow it to end or see it as broken. So I think, why qualify this by using "some?"

Anyway, it is a small thing. Or is it big?

This song is adorable.



Hi Wendy,

Well, you picked up on the one change I made to this song, which was to add the word "some" --and this was after having lived with the song without "some" for a long time.

I felt I wasn't saying what I had intended to say, without that "some" in there. True, the song is about perspective--more pointedly, about our imperfect "human" perspective.

But that line just wasn't reflecting me and how I felt about broken things. I never make sweeping statements when I talk, and to me, the chorus without "some" in there was too damn sweeping to represent how I felt. Like..the logician in me could poke holes in it, otherwise.

Plus, I was seeing "hoarders" in my imagination--thinking that the pre-"some" chorus could work as a mantra for people with this psychological disability--and I didn't want that to be a possible misreading.

But the chorus with "some" in there goes well with V3, "hold on for another day/life is not without surprise" and together, I was hoping they worked to show just how human and shifting our perspective can be, and that we might just have a better one tomorrow.

Also "some" works to embrace the state of my friend having actually been in bit of a "broken place" when I wrote this, and so I figured that it was more honest to not deny that broken places (things, etc.) can exist for some people at some points in time--totally denying how we really feel seems wrong..but I felt that working from that place, maybe we get to a clearing where some light can get in!

It's one word, but I think it does create two different lines of thought, so it's kinda big, I think? But the song can work both ways I think..these were some of my thoughts when adding that word.

I find "adorable" adorable, and not without a little blood rushing to my happy face. smile

Mike



Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/28/16 09:41 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101325 - 02/28/16 09:32 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,615
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,615
Baltimore, MD
Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Originally Posted by Nelson
Sweet all around performance and production Mike.
A very cool message and a catchy hook.

While I dig the flow of the chorus, helped no doubt by the use of "every single" in 3 of the 4 lines and your delivery of it of course, is superb, something about the last line..... just sticks out to me.
I was wondering if you used it("every single") in the last line because it sound so sweet with the second line, as it does?

Well,I came back a couple of times this week trying to come up with something to offer in its place but you sound so damn good, I find it hard to think... creatively. (hope that makes sense)

I was tempted to just write the one line truth.... Another splendid piece by the Mike-stro and call it a day. smile

Well, today this came mind.

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day


Cuz some broken things ain't broken
just seen a different way
from - a different - point of view
That could change from day to day




Hi Nelson!

To answer your first question, was my use of "every single" for purely metric/prosody oriented reasons, or was their something deeper?

I think it's something deeper. It's totally my personalty that when trying to convince someone of a point I'm making, to try to just get the door cracked a little, so a tiny shard of light gets in. Not unlike how a lawyer might cross-examine a witness. Just open the possibility of something having happened, then the jury goes "aaaaah!" and you have reasonable doubt.

When folks make rash decisions, oft times it's cuz they see no light at the end of the tunnel. So in this case, with my friend (with whom I also knew the less-is-more approach works best), I knew intuitively all I needed was a tiny little crack for the light to get in, and "every single" works to re-enforce that idea, as most of us aren't so presumptuous as to know with certainty that there will never be a crack of light to shine through in any possible scenario, until the end of time. In fact, presented as such, our imaginations often take us to the possible scenarios where things do work out, or where things aren't as broken as they might seem in those darker moments.

Let's look at these fine ideas:

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
just seen a different way
from - a different - point of view
That could change from day to day

This to me is more didactic--like I'm informing my friend about the "truth" as it pertains to broken things, and I was trying to avoid soapboxes. Plus. yours would work better without the word "some" in there--cuz with, it makes me want to parse which are which.

Mine is a bit didactic, too, only, in mine I'm kinda agreeing that okay, most broken things are really broke most of the time, but let's not be presumptuous and think we are as omniscient as God and think things will NEVER get better under any circumstance--which is how, to me, the chorus reads as I have it--and that some is important in there, as well as those repetitions of "every single."

Anyway, thanks for getting me to think and articulate this. Most of us write with our "intention" semi--cloaked, and though I always try to know what I'm saying in everything except the most abstract of lyrics, there's layers to this stuff!

I really appreciate your interactive post, Nelson. Thanks again. smile

Mike


Hey man, it was my pleasure.
I find it quite interesting to see whats going on in the author's head, to hear their intentions.


Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski

This to me is more didactic--like I'm informing my friend about the "truth" as it pertains to broken things, and I was trying to avoid soapboxes. Plus. yours would work better without the word "some" in there--cuz with, it makes me want to parse which are which.


I didn't see either option as didactic really, just one friend "sharing" with another how they sometimes deal with tough situations... hopefully giving them another way of viewing things.

And yes I would have some from that first line. smile

A broken thing ain't broken
when seen a different way
from a different point of view
that could change from day to day


But, now you got didactic in my head and I'm 2nd guessing myself. Does it come across as preachy. My thought was more of putting your arm around a friend and assuring him that as bad as things look now, it's not the end of the world.

That being said I do appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and intentions, with me... it helps with my understanding the song as a whole.

PS. Your explanation for the "every single's"
was way deeper than I expected, so I don't feel so bad for asking.

Lately I've been forcing myself to articulate the subjects of some of my songs, you know encase of an interview or if someone asks and I do a piss poor job at it... so congrats on that.

#1101326 - 02/28/16 10:09 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Nelson]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by Nelson
Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Originally Posted by Nelson
Sweet all around performance and production Mike.
A very cool message and a catchy hook.

While I dig the flow of the chorus, helped no doubt by the use of "every single" in 3 of the 4 lines and your delivery of it of course, is superb, something about the last line..... just sticks out to me.
I was wondering if you used it("every single") in the last line because it sound so sweet with the second line, as it does?

Well,I came back a couple of times this week trying to come up with something to offer in its place but you sound so damn good, I find it hard to think... creatively. (hope that makes sense)

I was tempted to just write the one line truth.... Another splendid piece by the Mike-stro and call it a day. smile

Well, today this came mind.

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
in every single way
from every single point of view
on every single day


Cuz some broken things ain't broken
just seen a different way
from - a different - point of view
That could change from day to day




Hi Nelson!

To answer your first question, was my use of "every single" for purely metric/prosody oriented reasons, or was their something deeper?

I think it's something deeper. It's totally my personalty that when trying to convince someone of a point I'm making, to try to just get the door cracked a little, so a tiny shard of light gets in. Not unlike how a lawyer might cross-examine a witness. Just open the possibility of something having happened, then the jury goes "aaaaah!" and you have reasonable doubt.

When folks make rash decisions, oft times it's cuz they see no light at the end of the tunnel. So in this case, with my friend (with whom I also knew the less-is-more approach works best), I knew intuitively all I needed was a tiny little crack for the light to get in, and "every single" works to re-enforce that idea, as most of us aren't so presumptuous as to know with certainty that there will never be a crack of light to shine through in any possible scenario, until the end of time. In fact, presented as such, our imaginations often take us to the possible scenarios where things do work out, or where things aren't as broken as they might seem in those darker moments.

Let's look at these fine ideas:

Cuz some broken things ain't broken
just seen a different way
from - a different - point of view
That could change from day to day

This to me is more didactic--like I'm informing my friend about the "truth" as it pertains to broken things, and I was trying to avoid soapboxes. Plus. yours would work better without the word "some" in there--cuz with, it makes me want to parse which are which.

Mine is a bit didactic, too, only, in mine I'm kinda agreeing that okay, most broken things are really broke most of the time, but let's not be presumptuous and think we are as omniscient as God and think things will NEVER get better under any circumstance--which is how, to me, the chorus reads as I have it--and that some is important in there, as well as those repetitions of "every single."

Anyway, thanks for getting me to think and articulate this. Most of us write with our "intention" semi--cloaked, and though I always try to know what I'm saying in everything except the most abstract of lyrics, there's layers to this stuff!

I really appreciate your interactive post, Nelson. Thanks again. smile

Mike


Hey man, it was my pleasure.
I find it quite interesting to see whats going on in the author's head, to hear their intentions.


Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski

This to me is more didactic--like I'm informing my friend about the "truth" as it pertains to broken things, and I was trying to avoid soapboxes. Plus. yours would work better without the word "some" in there--cuz with, it makes me want to parse which are which.


I didn't see either option as didactic really, just one friend "sharing" with another how they sometimes deal with tough situations... hopefully giving them another way of viewing things.

And yes I would have some from that first line. smile

A broken thing ain't broken
when seen a different way
from a different point of view
that could change from day to day


But, now you got didactic in my head and I'm 2nd guessing myself. Does it come across as preachy. My thought was more of putting your arm around a friend and assuring him that as bad as things look now, it's not the end of the world.

That being said I do appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and intentions, with me... it helps with my understanding the song as a whole.

PS. Your explanation for the "every single's"
was way deeper than I expected, so I don't feel so bad for asking.

Lately I've been forcing myself to articulate the subjects of some of my songs, you know encase of an interview or if someone asks and I do a piss poor job at it... so congrats on that.


Hi Nelson,

My sister is taking a writer's workshop, and so we've been talking a lot about "intention" and how it can be important to know why we write what we do in exactly the way we do. But she writes in a more abstract style, and this is going to be tough for her, because all we can say about "intention" then is something along the lines of "I was feeling this or that, and trying to invoke this or that in you"..but nothing more specific, unless it's about the actual grammar and usage..

By my "didactic" comment, I mean that yours, to me, is only a little more that than mine, and only because yours appears to be more of an unequivocal statement, and is along the lines of Wendy's read. Whereas mine is more like making a specific suggestion to perhaps leave open the possibility of seeing things differently.

BTW, there's nothing wrong with "backwards engineering" what you were intending to mean, after the fact. In fact, come to think of it, it's actually kind of awkward and weird to write having a fully formed "intention" before the writing starts. I mean..then..why not just communicate more directly?

So it's really cool you can think about your songs' meanings after the fact. smile

Thanks again, and no..I just felt my chorus was unavoidably a bit preachy too--but tempered with more uncertainty, perhaps..

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/28/16 10:14 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1101330 - 02/28/16 11:43 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Jim Colyer Offline
Top 30 Poster
Jim Colyer  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Nashville, Tennessee usa
You made me think, Michael. I've thrown away so many broken things as I've plowed into the future. A few of them I wish I still had. Good work!

#1101433 - 02/29/16 08:54 PM Re: Some Broken Things [Re: Jim Colyer]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by Jim Colyer
You made me think, Michael. I've thrown away so many broken things as I've plowed into the future. A few of them I wish I still had. Good work!


Thanks Jim!

Yeah, it's deeply ingrained in the mindset of our culture..

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)

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