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#1099664 - 02/03/16 06:08 AM God Is a Bicycle Thief  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,436
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

Top 40 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,436
Minneapolis
I truly hope this offends no one. I figure all humor comes from the Creator anyway. I'll surely pay a price in the afterlife.

I'm not even sure how you critique a song like this.

[Linked Image]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=759055&songID=13310855

God Is a Bicycle Thief

God is a bicycle thief
God is a bicycle thief
He came from a land where His parents were furniture thieves
But He stole bikes
Yeah, He stole bikes

God has a hole in His head
He put it there smoking in bed
He opened a spout
Saw the stars shooting out of His face
And off they race
Through outer space

He moves in mysterious ways
Just ask anybody who prays
I guess it's because He just basically does what He likes
And that's all right
But where's my bike?


Copyright 2016 by Mark Kaufman

#1099669 - 02/03/16 08:26 AM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,617
Calvin Online content
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,617
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Mark,

Creative fun.
That's some GOOD writing !
A very pleasant listening experience.


Calvin


[color:#000000]listen to
Big Foot Jerky...[color:#33CC00]....[/color] http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


[/color]

#1099674 - 02/03/16 11:41 AM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,899
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

Top 25 Poster

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,899
Saint Petersburg. FL
Great to hear one from you Mark! Sounds excellent as expected. We have bicycle thieves where I live but they don't look like God unfortunately. The picture makes all the sacrifices required to get to heaven look worthwhile.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#1099677 - 02/03/16 12:29 PM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,262
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,262
Louisiana
now that's a cool song!Mike

#1099681 - 02/03/16 12:44 PM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,377
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,377
Takes me back to the sixties Mark...has that kinda feel.

And I love the cheeky irreverence of the lyric punctuated by the picture.


Big thumbs up from me


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#1099689 - 02/03/16 02:45 PM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,779
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,779
Wisconsin
OMG! How cool is this? I can hear John and Paul rocking through it! Love the photo as well. She looks just the way I always imagined She would! Yep! If it's there, we're going straight to hell! grin

Ricki

#1099690 - 02/03/16 02:53 PM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,118
Martin Lide Online content
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Martin Lide  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,118
Houston, Texas
The lyrics remind me of a Hayes Carll song...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wdF84qS_4o

Last edited by Martin James; 02/03/16 02:56 PM.
#1099713 - 02/03/16 08:49 PM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,695
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 100 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,695
California
Hi Mark,

So nice to hear someone write a song from the POV of that other, lesser known ancient civilization next to The Isle of Crete--The Isle of Crepe..an extremely tiny little island next to Crete, gone for thousands of years, now.

Unlike their Ancient Roman counterparts who built aqueducts and Ancient Greeks who had modern philosophy and Olympics, Crepe isn't known for much--except they invented the bicycle two thousand years before it is widely thought of having been--extremely good road bikes too, with shifting gears and cute little squeezy horns to boot. Oh..they also invented tiny little fluffy pancakes which they occasionally wore as hats, especially at religious services.

And certainly their ancient lore rivals the Greeks in wackiness. While Greek gods were busy turning into swans and eagles and fornicating with human women who then laid eggs--Ancient Crepe mythology speaks of that famous cigarette burn that created the universe. And your lyric speaks to this very eloquently indeed, with perfect music to match.

But like Ancient Rome, their own success held the seeds to their oncoming demise. Bicycle thievery ran rampant in Ancient Crepe. There were no bike locks, just hemp rope, which was often stolen and rolled into cigarettes. The bicycle thieves were rarely seen, and there are fragments of poems that have washed ashore that seem to indicate the people of Crepe wrote many laments about their stolen bikes and that a cult had evolved that made God the culprit, in this early monotheistic culture.

This lyric feels like some of those fragments and shows a mastery of Ancient Crepe's history and style of writing, and the music, though more modern sounding, is perfect to my ears as well, and suits the lyric in a very pleasing way.

Many kudos, kind sir!!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 02/04/16 10:37 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1099725 - 02/04/16 02:31 AM Re: God Is a Bicycle Thief [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,377
John Voorpostel Offline
Top 20 Poster
John Voorpostel  Offline
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,377
Don't forget about the Grecian dremels Michael.

I expect that if you speak to another one of our sages, the one and only Mike Dunbar, in especially hushed tones, he'd look at you, perhaps askance, and then let you in on their secrets.


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard

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