Who's Online Now
19 registered members (9ne, couchgrouch, Barry David Butler, Brian Austin Whitney, Everett Adams, Irwin, beechnut79, cloudsongs, 6 invisible), and 246 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
David Gill
David Gill
Buffalo, NY
Posts: 964
Joined: August 2006
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Of Scamps and Scalawags
by 9ne. 05/27/17 11:36 PM
I've Learned So Much From Loving You
by couchgrouch. 05/27/17 11:16 PM
How many writers does it take to make a "HIT"?
by MidniteBob. 05/27/17 08:15 PM
Go Preds Go
by MidniteBob. 05/27/17 07:22 PM
Creativity and the Use of BIAB and Loops
by Michael Zaneski. 05/27/17 02:10 PM
Joan of Arc (Leonard Cohen Cover)
by Michael Zaneski. 05/27/17 01:56 PM
Forty Four Years Ago
by Michael Zaneski. 05/27/17 01:49 PM
100 Days
by Barry David Butler. 05/27/17 01:40 PM
2017 Nominees Check In Here!
by cloudsongs. 05/27/17 12:29 PM
This Old House Weeps
by Barry David Butler. 05/26/17 11:42 PM
Left Too Soon
by Ricki E. Bellos. 05/26/17 08:41 PM
One Step Two Steps
by Ricki E. Bellos. 05/26/17 08:29 PM
The Music Industry SKY Is Falling!!
by John Lawrence Schick. 05/26/17 04:25 PM
I pity today's DJs
by Marc Barnette. 05/26/17 03:59 PM
Meds for stagefright?
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/26/17 01:50 PM
"My Walk Through Arlington
by Barry David Butler. 05/26/17 10:42 AM
After All We've Been Through (Daubert)
by GocartMoz. 05/26/17 09:28 AM
Anyone Trade Domain Names ?
by niteshift. 05/25/17 11:42 PM
by E Swartz. 05/25/17 09:58 PM
These Are The Worse Days Of Our Lives
by nightengale. 05/25/17 05:15 PM
CD baby down sizing again
by Brian Austin Whitney. 05/25/17 04:04 PM
Pickiní And Singiní
by Neil Cotton. 05/25/17 01:32 PM
Leave and break your heart
by Travis david. 05/25/17 12:28 PM
Yet, Not Yet
by Neil Cotton. 05/24/17 10:14 AM
Life's All About The Fix
by nightengale. 05/23/17 09:36 PM
Gateway To Goodbye
by nightengale. 05/23/17 06:10 PM
I Don't Drink Cocktails Anymore
by beechnut79. 05/23/17 10:22 AM
Rock it or lose it.
by Travis david. 05/23/17 09:49 AM
Welcome To Facebook
by Barry David Butler. 05/23/17 07:46 AM
Shadow Boy
by Deej56. 05/23/17 12:55 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,069
Kevin Emmrich 10,527
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Travis david 10,080
Two Singers 9,571
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,684
Mike Dunbar 8,574
glynda 8,557
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,756
Corey 7,357
couchgrouch 7,171
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,426
Joe Wrabek 6,390
ben willis 6,051
Dave Rice 5,932
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,718
Linda Sings 5,601
niteshift 5,317
KimberlyinNC 5,195
Vicarn 5,109
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,596
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,342
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Cindy Miller 4,178
Tom Shea 4,173
Neil Cotton 3,961
nightengale 3,948
TamsNumber4 3,916
Roy Cooper 3,880
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,744
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
beechnut79 3,172
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Harriet Ames 2,865
PopTodd 2,855
E Swartz 2,831
Nigel Quin 2,795
MidniteBob 2,591
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Nelson 2,359
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,241
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
Wendy D 2,151
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
Ray Thyer 1,929
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
maccharles 1,748
floyd jane 1,713
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Noel Downs 1,620
Iggy 1,588
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Rick Heenan 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,450
RogerS 1,445
Ralph Blight 1,440
Chuck Crowe 1,435
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,427
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,406
Stan Simons 1,402
in2piano 1,397
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,367
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,311
Jan Petter 1,300
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
GocartMoz 1,257
Janice & Bud 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
IdeaGuy 1,209
Glen King 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
PeteG 1,146
summeoyo 1,083
Gerry 1,077
BobbyJoe 1,075
joro 1,045
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
IronKnee 884
Petra 883
Drifter 856
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
lane1777 746
90 dB 745
tbryson 736
Andy Kemp 732
Andy K 729
Jackie444 718
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
ant 694
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 565
Tink2 553
musica 539
9ne 534
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
Roderic 522
Irwin 520
Pat Hardy 513
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Moosesong 491
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
R&M 442
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 398
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
Cecilee 376
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Alek 351
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1099265 - 01/27/16 01:06 AM My first original song  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Hi all,

It's been a long time since I've visited these forums and back then it was just as a singer. Well, just about a year ago I picked up an acoustic guitar and just this last weekend, I wrote my first song. I've gotten a lot of really positive feedback and nothing else, so I'm hoping you will all be a little more constructive. I took a poem I had written when I was 14 and rewrote it to fit the melody I used. I think it needs one more verse.

The recording I uploaded to soundcloud was done playing around with my new tc-helicon play electric.It's not a great recording. I'm recording it again, but this should still give a general idea. My guitar teacher and I are re-recording it and fleshing out the instrumentation.

Looking for any constructive criticism as this is the first time I've written a song and I have no clue what I'm doing, and have been terrified for a long time to even try (music theory in college kind of scared me off).


Listen to I Will Fly by Alison Cromie #np on #SoundCloud

#1099266 - 01/27/16 01:10 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Uh oh. I just realized that maybe this should have gone in the mp3 feedback forum. Should I move it?

#1099270 - 01/27/16 03:30 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,375
Barry David Butler Online content
Top 200 Poster
Barry David Butler  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,375
Sebring, Florida USA
It's ok but I'd expand your chorus and make it catchy.
What you have here is like a throw away chorus. Must be the part of the song people get in their brain and can't get rid of it...lol I like your voice also and you should make the guitar softer. Good Luck

#1099279 - 01/27/16 01:28 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Barry David Butler]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,527
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,527
Crozet, VA
I'd go ahead and re-post it over in the mp3 section. Mighty fine singing.

I think the chorus is catchy enough. Maybe go up at the end of the chorus instead of down in the melody. But if you like it as is, keep it! Good first song -- keep 'em going.

If you are ready for a songwriting sprint and marathon at the same time check out http://fawm.org -- it starts February 1st.

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 01/27/16 08:58 PM.

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @ FAWM 2016)
#1099304 - 01/27/16 08:33 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Lynn Orloff Offline
Top 40 Poster
Lynn Orloff  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
PA of the great USA
My dear Alison if this is this is your very first song then don't let it be your last!! You have a very good voice and this melody is very likeable. As far as the Chorus it is on the short side but it seems to work w/this genre though I don't know exactly what genre I would call it but that doesn't matter. I would love to see the lyrics in print. Your vocals weren't as upfront as I would've liked to hear your beautiful voice more.

Great job all the way around!! Thanks for sharing.

Lynn smile

My Music at Soundclick

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#1099305 - 01/27/16 08:48 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,109
Vicarn Offline
Top 50 Poster
Vicarn  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,109
I like your voice and the song, Alison.
You sound a bit like Tammy who is a member here.
As Barry said, you could soften the guitar a little by eq (taking out some of the top mid range might do it), if you have that.



It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

#1099318 - 01/28/16 02:14 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Thank you everyone for the feedback. The recording itself is crap. I couldn't figure out why my interface wasn't sending signal through usb so I held my phone to my speaker and recorded it that way. The levels are definitely off.

I did record a video of me playing it the night I finished it. You can see that here. It's cleaner. https://youtu.be/PdfGIVuPfI4

My guitar teacher and I are doing a better recording of it at our lesson each week, adding in instrumentation.

I may still go post it over in the other forums for more feedback. I used to be so scared to even try and now I just want to write more to have enough for a full album of my own.

Someone mentioned it was hard to figure out genre. Ha. I feel the same way. My influences are all over the place: Alison Krauss, Ingrid Michaelson, Iris Dement, Brandi Carlile, Patty Griffin, although there's definitely a lot of folk/country in there.

I don't know if I'd actually be able to do it, but I do like the idea of a sprint marathon of writing songs. I'll have to read more into it and see if its something I could even try.

#1099326 - 01/28/16 09:49 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,527
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,527
Crozet, VA
Just watched the video -- real nice. One thing I want to point out that will quickly take your songs to the next level. Notice how your strum pattern is the same in the verses and the choruses. A great way to get variation and increase the "interesting-ness" of your songs is to do something different in each section of the song. Maybe the verse can be a partial strum, maybe slightly muted or picked a little and the the chorus can be that full out strum. Give it a try and see if you like it.

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @ FAWM 2016)
#1099330 - 01/28/16 12:55 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Oh gosh. Strumming. Yeah, I tend to get stuck in the same strum pattern for EVERYTHING. That is definitely something I need to work on.

Just started learning more Fingerstyle stuff so, hopefully once I'm more comfortable with it I can start working it into songs.

#1099421 - 01/29/16 08:19 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,959
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,959
really nice vocals Alison!i like the song as well,i'm blown away at this first attempt,can't wait for more.Mike

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.

Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
MarinaKingston, cloudsongs, Jaketaylorsongs1961, lindero, kirpi
20905 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Average Posts Daily32
Most Online1,506
Mar 16th, 2017
Just Plain Quotes
"Parents are notorious for telling you not to do something, but not telling you WHAT to do instead. So here are my thoughts. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, give it a manicure. Don't burn your bridges, go out and build more! And of course, Don't run with Scissors, use them to cut out your press clippings!" -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Pamela Bowne (70), Vincent Tomasso (46)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0