Who's Online Now
19 registered members (Brian Austin Whitney, Calvin, couchgrouch, Dave Rice, Martin Lide, Mackie H., dironmills, Barry David Butler, 2 invisible), and 221 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Norfolk, VA
Posts: 379
Joined: August 2010
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Please say some prayers for my Helen
by Brian Austin Whitney. 04/24/18 06:31 AM
Green Bottles. Vic
by Vicarn. 04/24/18 04:23 AM
Guitar solo needed for my Helen
by Roy Cooper. 04/24/18 12:47 AM
The Man in the Rorschach Shirt
by Mackie H.. 04/23/18 10:22 PM
by Mackie H.. 04/23/18 10:08 PM
A Book by Marty
by Martin Lide. 04/23/18 08:49 PM
Lonely Room
by Ricki E. Bellos. 04/23/18 08:45 PM
by RainyDayMan. 04/23/18 06:26 PM
Working On My Broken Heart
by Janice & Bud. 04/23/18 06:03 PM
Please Won't You Let Me Go Home
by RichMac. 04/23/18 06:02 PM
Rewind Me
by Janice & Bud. 04/23/18 04:53 PM
Nonprofit Needs a Song to Record
by Bill Lord. 04/23/18 04:02 PM
Sheet Metal Catfish * UPDATED *
by Calvin. 04/23/18 02:52 PM
Bring Me Home
by floyd jane. 04/23/18 11:38 AM
A Trump Placement...
by John Lawrence Schick. 04/23/18 10:55 AM
Won't Be Hard to Say Goodbye
by Calvin. 04/23/18 06:52 AM
Thick and Thin
by Marvin Adcock. 04/23/18 06:12 AM
FOREVER. ( A poem)
by Deej56. 04/23/18 12:04 AM
by Deej56. 04/22/18 11:57 PM
Sweet Lorelie
by Deej56. 04/22/18 11:54 PM
The Track....
by Fdemetrio. 04/22/18 10:49 PM
Colorado at Nashville tonight. NHL Playoffs
by RonnieDean. 04/22/18 10:03 PM
Who Needs Tomorrow When We Have Today
by Barry David Butler. 04/22/18 09:15 PM
When I Leave the Flowers at the Door
by beechnut79. 04/22/18 03:53 PM
I'm Not an Open Book (But I Still Love You)
by beechnut79. 04/22/18 03:44 PM
Cleaning Day
by beechnut79. 04/22/18 03:42 PM
You Are My Destiny
by Janice & Bud. 04/22/18 01:25 PM
I'll Never Say Good-bye - new -(soldier song)
by E Swartz. 04/22/18 01:03 PM
He Died For His Country
by E Swartz. 04/22/18 01:02 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,423
Travis david 10,750
Kevin Emmrich 10,535
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,571
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,801
glynda 8,574
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,874
Corey 7,357
couchgrouch 7,280
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Dave Rice 6,576
Mark Kaufman 6,429
Joe Wrabek 6,401
ben willis 6,092
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,718
Linda Sings 5,604
Vicarn 5,587
niteshift 5,361
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,611
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,351
Neil Cotton 4,326
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Cindy Miller 4,178
Tom Shea 4,173
TamsNumber4 4,023
nightengale 3,965
Roy Cooper 3,936
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,775
Dan Sullivan 3,710
MFB III 3,687
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
beechnut79 3,344
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
E Swartz 3,097
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,880
Harriet Ames 2,869
Nigel Quin 2,802
MidniteBob 2,706
Tom Tracy 2,558
Nelson 2,536
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,241
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
Wendy D 2,182
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,012
DukeWill 1,984
Ray Thyer 1,929
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
floyd jane 1,851
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
maccharles 1,822
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Noel Downs 1,620
Iggy 1,614
Cal 1,574
Rick Heenan 1,571
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,461
Tom Franz 1,452
Ralph Blight 1,440
Chuck Crowe 1,435
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,406
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Janice & Bud 1,377
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
GocartMoz 1,289
DakLander 1,265
Ian Ferrin 1,230
PeteG 1,228
Glen King 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
summeoyo 1,085
Gerry 1,082
joro 1,077
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
lane1777 1,008
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 912
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 827
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
90 dB 745
tbryson 737
Andy K 734
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 722
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
9ne 690
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Pat Hardy 596
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 565
Irwin 560
Tink2 553
Deej56 552
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
Roderic 522
Moosesong 522
BonzaiWag 513
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
R&M 452
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Alek 352
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1099265 - 01/27/16 01:06 AM My first original song  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Hi all,

It's been a long time since I've visited these forums and back then it was just as a singer. Well, just about a year ago I picked up an acoustic guitar and just this last weekend, I wrote my first song. I've gotten a lot of really positive feedback and nothing else, so I'm hoping you will all be a little more constructive. I took a poem I had written when I was 14 and rewrote it to fit the melody I used. I think it needs one more verse.

The recording I uploaded to soundcloud was done playing around with my new tc-helicon play electric.It's not a great recording. I'm recording it again, but this should still give a general idea. My guitar teacher and I are re-recording it and fleshing out the instrumentation.

Looking for any constructive criticism as this is the first time I've written a song and I have no clue what I'm doing, and have been terrified for a long time to even try (music theory in college kind of scared me off).


Listen to I Will Fly by Alison Cromie #np on #SoundCloud

#1099266 - 01/27/16 01:10 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Uh oh. I just realized that maybe this should have gone in the mp3 feedback forum. Should I move it?

#1099270 - 01/27/16 03:30 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,096
Barry David Butler Online content
Top 100 Poster
Barry David Butler  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,096
Sebring, Florida USA
It's ok but I'd expand your chorus and make it catchy.
What you have here is like a throw away chorus. Must be the part of the song people get in their brain and can't get rid of it...lol I like your voice also and you should make the guitar softer. Good Luck

#1099279 - 01/27/16 01:28 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Barry David Butler]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,535
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,535
Crozet, VA
I'd go ahead and re-post it over in the mp3 section. Mighty fine singing.

I think the chorus is catchy enough. Maybe go up at the end of the chorus instead of down in the melody. But if you like it as is, keep it! Good first song -- keep 'em going.

If you are ready for a songwriting sprint and marathon at the same time check out http://fawm.org -- it starts February 1st.

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 01/27/16 08:58 PM.

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @ FAWM 2018)
#1099304 - 01/27/16 08:33 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Lynn Orloff Offline
Top 40 Poster
Lynn Orloff  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
PA of the great USA
My dear Alison if this is this is your very first song then don't let it be your last!! You have a very good voice and this melody is very likeable. As far as the Chorus it is on the short side but it seems to work w/this genre though I don't know exactly what genre I would call it but that doesn't matter. I would love to see the lyrics in print. Your vocals weren't as upfront as I would've liked to hear your beautiful voice more.

Great job all the way around!! Thanks for sharing.

Lynn smile

My Music at Soundclick

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#1099305 - 01/27/16 08:48 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,587
Vicarn Online content
Top 50 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,587
I like your voice and the song, Alison.
You sound a bit like Tammy who is a member here.
As Barry said, you could soften the guitar a little by eq (taking out some of the top mid range might do it), if you have that.



It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

#1099318 - 01/28/16 02:14 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Thank you everyone for the feedback. The recording itself is crap. I couldn't figure out why my interface wasn't sending signal through usb so I held my phone to my speaker and recorded it that way. The levels are definitely off.

I did record a video of me playing it the night I finished it. You can see that here. It's cleaner. https://youtu.be/PdfGIVuPfI4

My guitar teacher and I are doing a better recording of it at our lesson each week, adding in instrumentation.

I may still go post it over in the other forums for more feedback. I used to be so scared to even try and now I just want to write more to have enough for a full album of my own.

Someone mentioned it was hard to figure out genre. Ha. I feel the same way. My influences are all over the place: Alison Krauss, Ingrid Michaelson, Iris Dement, Brandi Carlile, Patty Griffin, although there's definitely a lot of folk/country in there.

I don't know if I'd actually be able to do it, but I do like the idea of a sprint marathon of writing songs. I'll have to read more into it and see if its something I could even try.

#1099326 - 01/28/16 09:49 AM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,535
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,535
Crozet, VA
Just watched the video -- real nice. One thing I want to point out that will quickly take your songs to the next level. Notice how your strum pattern is the same in the verses and the choruses. A great way to get variation and increase the "interesting-ness" of your songs is to do something different in each section of the song. Maybe the verse can be a partial strum, maybe slightly muted or picked a little and the the chorus can be that full out strum. Give it a try and see if you like it.

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @ FAWM 2018)
#1099330 - 01/28/16 12:55 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Alison Offline
Serious Contributor
Alison  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 106
Oh gosh. Strumming. Yeah, I tend to get stuck in the same strum pattern for EVERYTHING. That is definitely something I need to work on.

Just started learning more Fingerstyle stuff so, hopefully once I'm more comfortable with it I can start working it into songs.

#1099421 - 01/29/16 08:19 PM Re: My first original song [Re: Alison]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,183
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,183
really nice vocals Alison!i like the song as well,i'm blown away at this first attempt,can't wait for more.Mike

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.

Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
erictrent2147, StephenMiller, maylina, joeymakesmusic, LucyMiller
21028 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Average Posts Daily39
Most Online1,506
Mar 16th, 2017
Just Plain Quotes
"The worth of your career to others is directly proportionate to the amount of importance you put into making contacts, nurturing leads and building real interpersonal relationships with those you hope will help you." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0