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PLEASE read notes first.
This is really my first time at trying a CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) song, though I have wanted to try it for a long time being a person of faith.
The song title will probably end up as IN TIME.
I wrote this from personal feelings after dealing with chronic illness and pain most of my adult life and hope it is something that others might can relate to, pain in many different ways. I came up with hook from the Bible Verse Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time..."
My collaborator Tim Behrens, who I have penned several songs with, is the one singing and playing. He wrote the music and helped some on some lyrical alterations.
This is a rough demo, in which we plan to add more "bells and whistles" later.
We are planning a round of some sort where the last chorus is, and hope to make it a more upbeat /contemporary feel with guitar moving forward, once we are sure the melody and lyric is in order. We also wants to add harmonies. Thoughts on those ideas are most welcome as well as thoughts on lyrics.
Please remember this is a rough sample, still needs work. Because it is so personal, we really don't want to re-write the lyrics a great deal but will make small changes if necessary.
Thanks JPFers :)/>/>/>/>
Kimberly and Tim

11/19/15- We are still working on this musically and making final tweaks lyrically. I am posting the lyrically revised for any thoughts on lyrically and the intro into the bridge, as we continue to work on it. We plan to speed it up a couple of BPM, and add guitar, harmonies and a revolving chorus perhaps at the end.. thanks!!!
NEW VERSION- changed lines in RED

In Time

Verse One
When I believe I can’t climb another mountain
because there’s been far too many before
and I’m deceived; convinced I lack faith
and the strength to face all this pain anymore

Pre-chorus/lift
When I keep making mistakes
Think I don’t have what it takes
And I break down and fall to my knees
Lord ...on days like these…


Chorus
Remind me
You love me despite the state I am in
Will you remind me
You’ll not forsake me even when fear steps in?
Your word is your promise, please help me remember
You will make everything beautiful….in time

Verse Two
When I compare the problems I’m facing
to others that look like they have it made
and life’s unfair; this ol’ world’s spinning backwards
lend me your wisdom to push through the days

Pre-chorus/lift 2
Cause, I keep making mistakes
Think I don’t have what it takes
and I break down and fall to my knees
Lord , on days like these…

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
Though my heart is aching, my hope is shaken
I gather the pieces and stumble your way

Your grace is amazing, forgiveness unchanging
Always with me on the darkest of days

Repeat Chorus

© Kime/Behrens All Rights Reserved 2015

Remind Me, IN Time- OLD VERSION

Verse One
When I believe I can’t climb another mountain
because there’s been way too many before
and I’m deceived; convinced I lack faith
and the strength to face all of this pain anymore

Pre-chorus/lift
When I keep making mistakes
Think I don’t have what it takes
And I’m brought down to my knees
Yeah, Lord on days like these…

Chorus
Remind me
You love me despite the state I am in
Will you remind me
You’ll not forsake me even when fear steps in?
Your word is your promise, so help me remember
You will make everything beautiful….in time

Verse Two
When I compare the problems that I’m facing
to others that seem to always have it made
and life’s unfair; this ol’ world’s spinning backwards
lend me your wisdom to push through the days

Pre-chorus/lift 2
Cause, I keep making mistakes
Think I don’t have what it takes
Yeah, I’m brought down to my knees
oh, Lord on days like these…

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
Your grace is amazing, forgiveness unchanging
Always with me on the darkest of days

Repeat Chorus

© 2015 All Rights Reserved- Kimberly Hales Kime/Tim Behrens

Last edited by KimberlyinNC; 11/20/15 05:07 AM.

*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
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Kim, first of all, I'm so sorry to hear of all the challenges that have been thrown at you. It would appear that music has been a great source of release (and maybe relief) for you, so, good for that.

As for this song, it says so beautifully what a person of faith would want to say in the face of adversity so, well done, Kim. And the music sets that off to its best advantage so, well done Tim.

Be sure and post the finished version.

Ricki

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well done!
The music and lyric fit

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Beautiful write and performance ... great job by both!!

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Well written and poignant tune!

For me, it starts off a bit unsure of itself but then it really picks up momentum as the song moves along. Nothing major, but I think you still need to iron out some meter issues in the first verse. The vocals work but they could sound a bit more natural; it sounds like the singer is still getting a bead on the way he wants to sing it (which I can relate to in spades, lol). Perhaps a bit more performance will hone it to where it works nicely.

In the chorus, every 3rd line really really wants to go UP in the pitch spectrum, and that last line is begging to soar:

Remind me
You love me despite the state I am in
Will you remind me <---up a bit
You’ll not forsake me even when fear steps in?
Your word is your promise, so help me remember
You will make everything beautiful….in time <--- to the moon!

A slight change in melody here would make a good chorus into a great one.

Overall, a really well done tune!

Peace,
TC


If it has strings I will find a way to play it!

You can hear my tunes at https://soundcloud.com/tc-gypsy
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Beautiful writing and I would just love to play the piano and sing that rough. Gerry

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My PC is broke at the moment , typing on a tablet which is harder, so I will just type the one reply instead of individual as I prefer to do. I have read all the wonderful and kind words as well as advice and Tim and I greatly appreciate it! I am glad such a private song about private thoughts and fears was accepted by others.
We plan to make changes and repost as soon as my computer is fixed, fingers crossed..but I wanted to go ahead and thank everyone that commented so far! You guys are the coolest ! Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
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Kim, what you did in the lyrics is what most of us dream of. To take something so personal and relate it so all can feel it, beautiful! Don't think in terms of cookie cutter Christian songs Kim, write your own. Add the bells and whistles that make YOU happy, and call it a wrap. Somtimes simple is the best approach, as this song sounds complete to me in its sparseness. I look forward to hearing this as it progresses! From one Christian songwriter to another, WELL DONE! The performance was awesome as well.

Todd


Everything we have has come from you, and we
give you only what you have already given us!

1 Chronicles 29:14


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wow, hats off to you both, well written and a cool performance.
I wouldn't put too many bells & whistles in there, you might mess up the emotion of it all. but I wouldn't mind hearing some SOFT background harmony on the words IN TIME.

Good luck.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Someone Else's Face vi[color:#000000]deo[/color] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gtaz5UzPO_c&feature=youtu.be

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Your words are so very kind and much appreciated. It came from a very private and difficult place and I only wanted to do a CCM song in that space.
I have since put up a few revisions, and longer bridge. Love to know your thoughts on it, still working on music.
Thanks so much
Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thank you so much Calvin. It will not be lots of bells and whistles, hopefully just enough to bring out the emotion of it every more with some build in the last chorus
Thanks for your kind words and for taking time to listen. I have since added a few lyrical alternatives, love your input on that
Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com

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