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"THIS AIN'T NO ORDINARY LOVE SONG" Words by Amanda Stevenson, Copyright 2000
[Verse A-1] She never wore an ounce of make-up; Only jeans and tee shirts like the guys. Always treated her - just like a tomboy, Didn't know the color of her eyes.
[Chorus 1] This ain't no ordinary love song. She married my best friend, you know. I used to love her like a sister. Never thought I'd have to let her go.
[Verse A-2] You should have seen her in the chapel; Elegant as any bride could be: Flowers in her hair and dressed in satin; Lookin' at her sweetheart lovingly.
[Chorus 2] This ain't no ordinary love song. She married my best friend that day. He treated her just like a lady. Now they live a thousand miles away!
[Bridge] I still can see her in the ballroom; Beautiful as any girl I've seen; Dancing in my arms like Cinderella; Wavin' to me from the limousine.
[Chorus 3] This ain't no ordinary love song. She married my best friend, you see. I told her all my deepest secrets . . . But the one that keeps on haunting me!
[Verse A-3. Sotto Voce with Chorus] She never wore an ounce of make-up; Only jeans and tee shirts like the guys. Always treated her - just like a tomboy, Now I know the color of her eyes!
[Coda] Now I know the color [falsetto] of her eyes!
Thank you Shayne Vaughan for editing my song. Thank you Cal for the new structure. Thank you all for your feedback.
[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 02-20-2005).]
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Hi Amanda- How are things in N.Y.? You wrote a catchy title/hook- Got my attention in your first verse.
My thoughts- A nice clever "twist" would make this lyric sing- Maybe steal "him" back- show her who's boss.
Keep writing
Cal
P.S. Why did you label your 2nd, and 3rd verses as bridges? They read like verses. A bridge is used only once in a song; usually after two sets of verse/choruses, and followed by one last chorus. ABABCB, or AABA.
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Joined: Dec 2003
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I have to agree with Cal- here. But the song in itself contains quite a potential, it teases the reader the dual aspect of the 'sis' and 'best friend', but it carries strength.
Keep on rockin'! You do it great!
------------------ Wanna feel divine? Play your acoustic guitar in a dark room with several candles in it.
Wanna feel divine? Play your acoustic guitar in a dark room with several candles in it.
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In order to change the "bridges" into "verse" - I would have to rewrite the lyric which I will attempt to do. I really appreciate your feedback. I am actually very careful about structure, but sometimes a song kinda paints itself LYRICALLY into a corner! I don't want to give the song another or different twist. The twist is already unique and interesting 1. It really is another mushy love song. 2. He found out too late that he was in love with her - but didn't know it. 3. He finally saw the side to her that her husband had seen - she really was a girl.
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Hello Amanda.
The story flows well and it gets the message across. I got that he's in denial.
My only nit is that the word mushy doesn't seem like something this guy would say, especially if he's in denial. I would go for a straightforward statement "This is not a love song".
Nice way to wrap it up with the color of her eyes.
Vondelle
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i liked it alot except fpr the "mushy" part. but good song anyways
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Hey Big Apple......Where you been girl? Life around here has been boring since you dropped out of site for awhile....good to see you back....I like this lyric alot very nice sentiment....well crafted as always.....my only nit is " mushy " just not one of my favorite words....trush
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I think this was great...can actually picture a music video in my head and I would love to hear the music Keep it coming!!
Keep it coming!! Nicki...
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Hey Guys! Thanks for the feedback. Would you prefer the word "Gushy" instead of "Mushy?"
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Hey Cal, I restructured the song based on your excellent comments. I will seriously consider replacing the mushy if someone will throw me a better word. The original title was: This ain't a mushy gushy love song!"
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Hi- Amanda This is just my opinion; but I think using the word "mushy" is fine. You molded your song using the word- it fits it's purpose, and you get your point across. In the music business, there are many songs that make the charts, which are not lyrically "perfect-" and make it. I think this point is a personal one, and can go either way. Also, when one hears a song in whole, music and all, one may have a different opinion. You may wish to eliminate the words "It's not another." Or use your first title; "It Ain't A Mushy Gushy Love Song." Or keep it simple; "It's Not A Mushy Love Song." You may have difficulty finding a word to replace mushy with. You can remove the word, but you may have to re-write the lyric.
Cal
[This message has been edited by Cal (edited 07-18-2004).]
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Hello Amanda.
Cal is right that some songs do work well with words like mushy, gushy. After all, we do have "Achy, Breaky Heart". My problem with those words are the association the average listener might have: mashed potatoes and oatmeal are mushy (to me) and we have Fruit Gushers. Again, very subjective. If you have music and it works, then it works. If you don't have music, yet, then I would experiment both ways and if you have a collaborator, certainly they will have an opinion too.
It's a fun song.
Vondelle
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Hey Vondelle- You must have read my mind. I also thought of that title- "Acky Breaky Heart," as an example, to explain the point. Thanks for your support- I must be doing something right.
Cal
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Thanks Vondelle and Cal. "This is not another mushy love song" actually sings well.
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Liked the flow of the lyrics really well and...an avid "tomboy" fan myself...thought the story was well crafted.Congrats..very good!!
Wholf
"Live & Learn..Then Move On."
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Hey, Big Apple, what's up? Hell, I didn't even know they HAD country music up in NYC! (just kidding!) Anyway, I read your lyrics, and right from the get-go I really liked the idea of the song, but, just like many other contributors thought (as I later found out, when I scrolled down), I didn't think that "mushy" was the perfect word for that line, or, for that matter, the title. I just guess we all thought that the song was too strong to let one not-so-perfect word mess up its potential. Anyway, to get to the point; I was staring at the screen, just thinking about what other words you could possibly use, and then, out of nowhere, some lines just came to me. So, I thought I'd share my little revision with you, if you don't object? And I am by NO MEANS saying that what I've written is better; I just thought it was a kind of clever way "spin" off of what you already had, without ever changing your central theme. So, first, I added a pre-chorus after verse 1, to build some more tension and give a little more meat to the storyline. And then I also added four more lines to the chorus, and that's basically it. Gee, I really hope you don't mind! See what you think. Here goes:
[You wrote:] [Verse A-1] She never wore an ounce of make-up; Only jeans and tee shirts like the guys. Always treated her - just like a tomboy, Didn't know the color of her eyes.
[Pre-Chorus:] And now, those eyes are gone I lost a love, in just one blink But now, before I pour my heart out Just know, this isn't what you think...
[Chorus:] You're wrong; this ain't a love song Just 'cause she married mt best friend And now he holds her tight at night While still my love for her won't end
I never thought my heart could give The love, that now, I can't let go And never fought so hard to live This lie you might already know: "My heart is strong; I know you're wrong... And this ain't a love song."
[Then, on to verse 2, etc.]
Well, I really hoped you liked at least some of it! Either way, I'd really like to know what you thought. Hope to hear from you soon.
-Brooks
------------------ Just remember: It's not "show friends," it's "Show BUSINESS." -Bob Sugar (Jerry MacGuire)
Just remember: It's not "show friends," it's "Show BUSINESS." -Bob Sugar (Jerry MacGuire)
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A lyric should sound natural. By reversing ideas - to force a rhyme - it actually becomes poetry, Brooks, and not a lyric to a song. People don't talk that way. A lyric should sound "like some guy talkin'." But I appreciate any comment or effort. "I know you're wrong" does not make any sense to me. WHO is wrong? Why? How about this title: "This Ain't Another Pretty Love Song?"
I never thought my heart could give The love, that now, I can't let go And never fought so hard to live This lie you might already know: "My heart is strong; I know you're wrong... And this ain't a love song."
[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 09-17-2004).]
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How about the word sappy? Just a thought Tia
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I really liked this...the title's great too!
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I think sappy is very close to what I need IF I change the title. Does anyone else prefer sappy to mushy? One problem is understanding the word. Although sappy is spelled with two P's - it is actually SUNG with one P. And would an ugly pop to hear the P make it less clear? When discussing "chick" movies like "Sleepless in Seattle," I've never heard the word "sappy" used by a man to describe something as "romantic."
[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 10-09-2004).]
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Gosh what irony, I love it. the only part that's rough I think is.
"This is not another mushy love song. She married my best friend, you know."
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Based on the feedback, I created the title, "This Ain't No Ordinary Love Song" because that's what my daughter said to me casually in conversation.
[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 10-16-2004).]
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