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Joined: Aug 2008
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The most trafficked mammal in the world, the pangolin is a small, scaly anteater, once common in areas of Asia and Africa. The numbers have been dangerously depleted due to heavy trafficking. They’re smuggled into places like Vietnam by boat or truck from Indonesia or Malaysia, and come in loads weighing several tons, dead or alive, fresh or frozen, skinned and gutted. The flesh is popular with well-to-do businessmen eating a celebratory dinner; the scales are ground to powder to be used for purported medicinal purposes; and the blood is sold as an aphrodisiac. ------------------------------------------------- Written during FAWM this year. When I saw the photo (see link below) of the pangolin with the wee baby on its back, it near broke my heart. One more species on the verge of extinction. My collaborator and I are thinking Americana/folk, around mid-tempo? Constructive critique welcome. Wondering whether to keep the outro. Have at it, folks. Donna REVISION 1 (08.10) Poor Little PangolinNocturnal, solitary You lived your quiet life Safe in Asian forests In burrows out of sight Then you became a product To be bought at any price Chorus Poor little pangolin Attacked from every side Poor little pangolin It’s been a rocky ride V2 Your blood's becomes a potion Your scales are ground to dust The powder's said to heal And bush meat is a must Your habitat's been plundered Oh there's no escape from us Chorus Poor little pangolin Attacked from every side Poor little pangolin The poachers want your hide Bridge It hurts me to think You might soon be extinct Though you’re hardly even known But humans, you know, can never Leave well enough aloneChorus Poor little pangolin Attacked from every side Poor little pangolin Not likely to survive Outro For thousands of years A partner on our planet Now you're hunted down by profiteers© 2015 Donna Devine http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1869288/original.jpg---------------------- ORIGINAL (with tweaks) Poor Little PangolinV1 Nocturnal, solitary You lived your quiet life Safe in Asian forests In burrows out of sight Then you became a product To be had at any price Chorus Poor little pangolin Besieged from every side People want to eat you Or kill you for your hidePoor little pangolin It’s been a rocky ride V2 [s]You’re dined uponOn menus now in rest’rants It’s claimed your scales can heal Curing common ailments Though who knows if that’s real But you bring in the money And the traffickers don’t feel[/s] You feature now in rest'rants You're sold as powdered scales Or blood, to make men potent Where other methods fail So little is left over Once they've brought you in for saleChorus Poor little pangolin Besieged from every side People want to eat you Or kill you for your hidePoor little pangolin The poachers want your hideBridge Gentle wee creatureLike an artichoke with legsIt hurts me to think You’ll soon be extinct Before you’re even known Harmless little creatureThey won’t leave you alone Chorus Poor little pangolin Besieged from every side People want to eat you Or kill you for your hidePoor little pangolin Not going to survive Outro Tiny partner on our planet You've been here many years Minding your own business While we've wallowed in our fears© 2015 Donna Devine http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1869288/original.jpg
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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Joined: Jan 2005
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kind of looks like our armadillo and those things are bad trouble for your lawn,they'll dig it up looking for their meals.I hate 'em!But your lyric is cool!Mike
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2 |
Thanks for taking a look, Mike. The little guys in the lyric, though, are absolutely harmless. For probably millennia they've avoided contact with humans, and for good reason. Unfortunately, humans now have encroached on their territory. Meanwhile, I've made several changes. Still a work-in-progress. Donna
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
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57 million abortions since 1973.
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2
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That's another story, Jim. This one's about pangolins. Let's stay on topic. Donna 57 million abortions since 1973.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
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Joined: Apr 2008
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What? Are your boots too tight?
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Hi Donna,
Your lyric has a classic kind of folk format of informing me on an issue while rhyming as it goes, and this does that very well.
The narrator of topical songs like this is often more emotional than is here, but I like this cool approach of expressing some facts and letting "poor little pangolin" be the main emotional outlet.
"But humans, you know, can never Leave well enough alone"
Interesting you feel no need to be divisive and qualify "some" humans, nor do you feel the need to "own" the problem and say "us humans" or simply "we." Maybe yours is the best choice, cuz it gives the narrator a kind of "beyond human" omniscience, which works well here.
Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/11/15 07:03 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2 |
Mike, thank you for your observations here. Much appreciated. Interesting about 'we'. In fact, I originally had it in that line, but then decided to remove it. I felt there were too many syllables for a comfortable flow, plus the 'us' at the end of line 6, V2, indicated that the singer was kind of 'owning' the problem. But I like your thoughts regarding 'beyond human omniscience': Maybe the lyric - as it stands (with 'us' in the verse but no 'we' in the chorus) - achieves a kind of mid-way point. Donna
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