JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum The Truth

Hi Everyone, new song from me. I will be back and critique.
Any comments good or bad always appreciated.

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=13175627&q=hi&new

The Truth
By Tom Franz

V1
Let the night begin
Let that breeze
Blow on in
Let it play
Upon your skin
Let the night begin

V2
Let the moon shine through
That window
Onto you
No one else
Just we two
Let the moon sine through

C
Lay on back
I must insist
I know you
Cannot resist
You can try
But it ain’t no use
Because I know you
And I know the truth

V3
Let me hold you near
So close
That I can hear
The sweetest sounds
That are only found
When I hold you near
C
Bridge
No one knows you like I do
I know you deep
I know you true
You can tease and pout
But baby this is all about
The truth
Tag
So let this night begin

Hi Tom,

your performance is totally enjoyable.
GOOD WRITING
COOL MUSIC
EARTHY VOCALS

thanks for the entertainment.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Tom, really nice tune! Lyrics, music, production, everything worked here. The Mandolin was a nice touch on the bridge too! Thanks for sharing!

Tom

Mighty fine tune all around, Tom.
Very cool guitar.
I found the vocal performance soulful and expressive.

Well done, indeed.

pretty cool song Tom!Mighty fine job.Mike

WOW, Tom.....killer guitar, killer melody, killer lyric, and a lovely vocal delivery.
How about we get the "Three Tom's"(You, Me & Tom W.) together for a collab.
I'm feelin' this groove, and it's sweet!
Beautiful song!!
-T

Pretty sweet, Tom. I like the arrangement. It kind of sounded like an unplugged Springsteen song like it could have been on the Nebraska album years ago.

Stevie

Very well done ... really enjoyed the lyrics and especially enjoyed your performance ... great job!!

Hi Tom,

I enjoyed EVERY bit of this!
What a COOL song, all the way around!
Very earthy and soulful, as others have mentioned.

(I'm not a musician so I know I'm going to mess up this explanation, but I mean it in the best way ...I really liked how your voice reached a certain pitch in the chorus and sounded like your guitar ... like your voice was acting as another instrument! Does that make sense?!)

Lisa

Tom,

A really nice song. Sung with feeling.

A very nice production of it, too.

floyd

Hi Tom,

Really good to hear from you!!

I like this a lot. No real nits. I've always loved the warm thick timbre of your vocals, and this is no exception. The lyric is either a word game or such a personal song that only the person "the singer" is singing to knows what is meant by "the truth." Or maybe it's both! In either case, it's a mystery that's surrounded by choice romantic details, and it's just beautiful.

Mike

Calvin,
Thank you for the listen and your kind words.


Tom W. Thank you for noticing the mandolin. That is really hard to do that trilly thing in time. Many takes were involved to get close to in time. So Tom from Hawaii wants us to join up. more on that in my response to him.

Nelson, What nice things to say. Thank you. I want your voice though.

Michael L. Thank you.

Tom from HI thanks for listening and critiquing again. You know that would be so interesting The Three Toms (Toms Galore, Toms Cubed). Three very distinct styles. Could be really nice or a train wreck. Let's all meet at your house.

Stevie, I would be honored to come within a hundred miles of that Album. Thank you.

Jimmy, thank you for your very nice words.

Lisa, Thank you for saying those nice things. Just because you are not a "musician" you don't need to be apprehensive to comment on the music. My wife is equally apprehensive and I treasure her opinion greatly. Just cause you don't play an instrument does not mean you can't tell if you like a song. In fact you may have a purer ability to say if a song works or does not.
That said if my voice sounded like my guitar, trust me, that was a happy accident. I'm just trying to stay in tune. . . .

Thanks Floyd.

Michael, Thank you for saying those nice things about my voice. On the word "truth". Mystery is not what I was going for. . . . I was trying to describe, albeit a bit too concisely, the moment where pretense and self consciousness are dropped and a pure and honest connection is made.
What I was trying to insinuate is this "We have experienced this true moment together (moment of truth <- that may be the better term) and we are going to be getting there soon".
Make sense? I need to keep working on this. . . .

My Oh My, how I've missed hearing your songs! I don't recall ever NOT loving whatever you post, and I feel the same about this. Just wonderful, all the way around. Hope you stick around.

Ricki

Tom,

This is very cool, and a well written/arranged song. I like your production. I'm listening on good head phones--I like the dominant guitar track a lot, but think you could back off one or two dbs an let your vocal have a "tad" more dominance, to make sure the listener doesn't get engrossed in that great guitar riff too much and miss the message. Just for experimentation, you might break convention and move your lead vox over to the right about 15% to give a little more space to your partially L panned guitar. That might be cool--not sure.

Good sounds here with this performance and mix.
I really enjoyed this, nice write man!

steady-eddie.

Oh yeah, Tom! I love that guitar. WoW, it rocks!

Everything really glued together in the arrangement, and lyrics and vocals were top notch. The best of Bowie and Dylan mixed together in one voice (without the bad pitchy stuff).

I can hear your really worked the arrangement, and especially the drums. What I liked best was the impact of your guitar and vocals, though, and I thought the rimshots distracted me a bit from that. The kick fitted nicely, as well as the snare towards the end, so I would suggest try editing the part with the rimshots, and see if the section sounds cleaner and gives more hard hitting impact there.

Really love the emotional qualities of the song and the performance, and the way it hits me in the gut!

Lean lyrics but yet they get the point across. The verses sound springsteenish rock/pop but the Chorus sounds country. I can see this being all verses with just a bridge and no chorus and keeping it pop/rock and no flavor of country. Go alittle bit longer on the outro as well since it ends abruptly.

On verse 2 maybe:

Let the moon shine through
The moonbeams
Touching you

Best,
Lynn

Tom,
I had meant to comment on this song, earlier, and tell you how much I love the guitar groove and the whole production. The vocal approach reminds me of Jimmy Lafave...really well done!

iggyiggy