JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Wherever I Go

OK, let's try it again. This song fell through the cyber cracks when the site went down. If you listened and commented, please do so again, because I didn't get a chance to respond. I'm looking for suggestions on what production you can hear for it. Also, is the message clear and worth listening to. Thanks,

Ricki

https://soundcloud.com/rickib/wherever-i-go

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13172226

WHEREVER I GO

The smell of wasted time
Like cheap table wine
Comes from someplace dark I thought I’d left
The emptiness I feared
Has since reappeared
Tired of feeling sorry for myself

I can run and hide
But I’m still me inside
I take myself wherever I go
I don’t like all I see
But forgive and let it be
I take myself wherever I go

The taste of his cologne
In my sleep I moan
Something special slipped through my fingertips
I wake up from the dream
Sad yet now relieved
I’ve forgotten the shape of his lips

REPEAT CHORUS

I can’t fight mistakes I’ve made
I try again and again
Remembering each with brand new pain
Let them wash over me as night fades to day

REPEAT CHORUS

©Ricki E. Bellos (BMI)

Hi Ricki,

This has a very haunting feel to it. Production wise, I see vry minimal production. An acoustic guitar, some haunting string instruments in th background and that is all you need. I think the message is clear, at least from my take on the song. "Take responsibility for your mistakes and move on .... You can't change the past only the future.". At least that is what I take from it.

Nice write. I love the haunting quiet melody. Nice work.

Dave

Hi Ricki,

I really like this sultry and lonely vibe you have here. For me, I'm getting a little Steven Stills feel from CSN&Y. As far as production, I'd like to see a song that builds slowly adding instrumentation as the song builds especially initially. Then with each new verse, peal back a bit and build again, then end the song reversing the build gradually getting "thin" again. I think a real polished acoustic guitar should carry the song, but I wouldn't mind hearing some piano chords mixed throughout in the building areas. You could end with a little piano fluttering complimenting the guitar, but keep the guitar dominant. Drums can also work with very little in areas then some fairly strong accents as well. Bass should be there, but not real strong. These are some ideas (one approach) that my gut feels with this vibe.

These are some pretty cool lyrics too, but I think in vs. 2, I might experiment with using just "fingers" then maybe come back with the rhyme,"lingers." My thought is she wouldn't forget anything about this guy making this verse could be more sexual and passionate at this point of the song--though it was a dream--still lingers in her memory. (Not a big deal--just a thought to explore).

I like how your chorus the 2nd time around you go up an octave singing--but it has to be done like Heart would do it, not Joni Mitchell--this song to me needs that "edge." (I couldn't sing like that either in a key for myself( as I'm no heavy rock singer myself. This is what I'm hearing in my mind if I was producing this, so just sharing these thoughts/ideas with you as you asked in your opening intro. Keep or sweep!

This is very cool Ricki, I like it a lot!

steady-eddie.

Hi Ricki,

Glad to see you posting a song, and a good one.
You sound nice.
I really enjoyed this part.....

I’ve forgotten the shape of his lips

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Dave, glad you liked it and thanks for commenting and listening. I'm a minimalist myself, more out of necessity though.

Ricki

hi Ricki! was here once, I thought this was very good. I wouldn`t change a thing with the music, simple acoustic guitar, maybe a haunting, lonesome part in it with a fiddle...know what I mean? sparingly. I think the timing on this is just right for something like that. just my opinion.

I like every bit of this except these two lines in the write:

"Something special slipped through my fingertips
I wake up from the dream"

maybe something more puzzling , mystic....lol to go with the other 4 lines, that's a good verse I thought. again just my thoughts. hope all is good in your world. nice work Lane

Hi Eddie, and thanks for the detailed comments. Some good production ideas to think about.

As for V2, she needs to forget to move on so maybe something like:

Need to forget the shape of his lips

More to think about. Glad you liked it.

Ricki

Thanks Calvin, it's nice to be posting. See you around the boards.

Ricki

Thanks Lane but I don't think "mystical" is where I want to go. Having been made to feel stupid by other people's lyrics, I really don't want to leave anyone else scratching their heads, wondering "What the...?" Glad you like it though. Thanks,

Ricki

That's what is" the most important, whatever you think, how you want to express. I totally agree. Lane

Hi Ricki,

I always thought that Robert Fulghum's book title (or some variation thereof) would make a great song.

The song's message is clear, and most of the lines relate back to the title. V2 is a bit of an odd duck in that it's more personal and confessional than the rest, but I'm glad it's there, cuz usually when a singer sings aphoristic-ly to ones self, there are usually some events that have triggered these feelings of self preservation, and we get a glimpse into that with V2.

You could get away with something as sparse as an added harmony and a little extra accompaniment in the chorus.

Great song..you are writing at a very high caliber.

Mike

A somber overall sentiment and as usual, a wonderfully intimate performance.

First thought was "Hurt".
Maybe that's the way to do it.
Very nice.

Vic

hey Ricki,this song really oozes with the blueses!I'm diggin' the lyrics and really like your performance!Mike

Thanks for stopping by Mike and for the helpful comments. Glad you like it.

Ricki

That one is packed full of good lines and
we really like the mysterious vibe. I think
it begs a very sparse arrangement.
Acoustic guitar, cello and acoustic bass
come to mind.

Nice!!

J&B

Thanks for stopping to listen and comment Mister Nelson.

Ricki

Glad you like it, Vic. It's not hurt so much as accepting the blame and ones own faults and then moving on.

Ricki

Oozes, eh? Thanks Mike, I'll take it. Glad you like it.

Ricki

Thanks, B&J and thanks for the production ideas. I think sparse will win out.

Ricki

Ricki...

I like it. You write cool stuff...

I hear a big, spacey Pink Floyd kind of production...

In your chorus...this is just a suggestion..
instead of saying (admitting)

"I don’t like all I see
But forgive and let it be"

How about leaving it up in the air a bit...

Do I like what I see?
I can forgive...let it be..


fj

Thanks for stopping by, Floyd and for your suggestions. I love Pink Floyd!

That line used to be "I may not like all I see" but I decided not to be wishy-washy about it. Not sure I want it up in the air. All we have to work with is who we are and that means accepting the good and the bad. Thanks,

Ricki

Wonderful Ricki. Your chorus is awesome. It describes something we all go through perfectly. Hauntingly beautiful.

Todd

Thanks for listening and commenting, Todd. Hauntingly beautiful...I like the sound of that. Thanks!

Ricki

Hi Ricki,

This is poignant and stirring -- a lovely song!
I laughed that you have gotten everything minimal to full Pink Floyd production!
I'll go middle of the road ... somewhere in between -- lol!
(Actually, any of the suggested treatments would work, I think -- it's versatile!)

Lisa

Thanks for listening, Lisa. Yeah, I ask for suggestions, hoping for something I hadn't thought of, or maybe just reinforcing what I already decided. No matter, it's all good. Thanks,

Ricki