10 members (couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill),
4,251
guests, and
265
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
vs You and I intoxicated We slept together then we dated Always on the phone We could never be alone vs Soon we were infatuated Convinced ourselves that it was fated But eventually we knew The two of us were through Chorus: It was everything and nothing At the same time There was misery and heartache All the way down the line
It was everything and nothing At the same time Now I'm trying to drown my sorrows In this cheap, cheap cheap wine vs Still we stayed with one and other Convinced we'd never find another Argued all the time What was yours and what was mine vs Eventually we had to part A heavy weight fell from my heart A love that never was Perhaps I'm a lost cause Chorus: It was everything and nothing At the same time There was misery and heartache All the way down the line
It was everything and nothing At the same time Now I'm trying to drown my sorrows In this cheap, cheap cheap wine
It was everything and nothing At the same time It was everything and nothing At the same time
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
Good hook Joe, yes many relationships started out like this Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
i think when you have to drink to get through a relationship,it's time to call it quits.A good suffering song.Mike
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Joe,
I really like the hook and how you make us think of relationships as being everything and nothing. Nice write!
Would it be overkill to do this?:
Now I'm trying to drown EVERYTHING In this cheap, NOTHING wine
I don't know -- just a thought!
Lisa
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 971
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 971 |
Hi Joe,
Nice song! It really flowed well and has good structure. I thought you really brought out the emotion to it. Good luck with it!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 630
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 630 |
Hello Joe, I think you've got a great hook here and a good story line. I'm going to second Lisa's suggestion and alter it a little. Instead of "In this cheap, cheap, cheap wine" to "In this cheap, screw-top wine." I know some good wines are going to screw-top, but I think the image is still that of "cheap." Good job, Joe. Dave
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
Hey Travis Yeah it's funny how people fall into relationships.
Cheers Joe
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
Hey Mike Relationships are hard that's why the divorce rate is so high. Glad you liked it.
Cheers Joe
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
Hey Lisa Glad you enjoyed this. your suggestion wouldn't work(imo)
Peace Joe
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
Hey Wesley Thanks for your kind comments.
Cheers Joe
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
Hey Wesley Thanks for your kind comments.
Cheers Joe
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
Hey Dave Thanks. Your suggestion is a good one as most screw-top wines are cheap and terrible.(in this country anyway.
Cheers Joe
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|