JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 The Troubadour's Curse (Her Majesty's Moon)

Three things dovetailed for this..watching "Wolf Hall" a fantastic period piece about King Henry VIII and Thomas Cromwell, and reading a lot of moon songs, here..and having been told by a friend in the 80's that I had "The Troubadour's Curse" of falling in love with unattainable woman, so as to be able to write heartfelt & gut-wrenching love songs..I always thought "The Troubadour's Curse" was a real thing, but there's no mention of it on Google. My friend (who's now deceased) made that up, and had me going for 35 years. God Bless you, Matt.

This will be authentic sounding Renaissance Music with vocals.

Is the anachronism (bummer) distracting? Is the chorus weak? Since the verses were wordy I was aiming for a sparser chorus where the singer could hold onto vowels for a few beats and really sing. Is there anything you think doesn't work? I appreciate you looking in. Thanks in advance.

The Troubadour's Curse (Her Majesty's Moon)

I was just a troubadour, a singing man servant
employed by Her Majesty's court
I was grateful and willing, facile and fervent
and fun, but not one to cavort

T'was the Feast of Valentine, our Sainted martyr
I was singing some Dunstable tune
Our Queen smiled down on me, with what I thought ardor
By the light of Her Majesty's moon

Oh please
Please have mercy
On me
My Queen
Oh please
Though I be unworthy
My humble heart
Belongs to thee

My heart was a cannonball dragging through summer
Juggler John said it gets worse
And Merek the Mummer said man that's a bummer
You've got the troubadour's curse

She's unattainable, this sparks your writing
It's a curse, true, but also a boon
Lock these new songs inside you, they're danger inciting
Sing them just to Her Majesty's moon

Oh please
Please have mercy
On me
My Queen
Oh please
Though I be unworthy
My humble heart
Belongs to thee

My life's misbegotten, for now it's September
I sing old songs but now she ignores
And my heart scrapes bottom, though still flaming ember
For new songs still seep through my pores

I'd rather be smothering the tongue of a bell
And be bashing myself into high noon
Than keep on holding my own, such is hell
Silent knell from Her Majesty's moon

If it please the Queen, I wouldst give her
A private concert of new songs

Now it is December, and I pray a court order
Will re-license me town buffoon
But no, I'll be hanged, drawn, and quartered
by the light of her majesty's moon

Oh please
Please have mercy
On me
My Queen
Oh please
Though I be unworthy
My humble heart
Belongs to thee

Oh please
Please have mercy
On me
My Queen
Oh please
Though I be unworthy
My humble heart
Belongs to thee

(C) 2015 Michael Zaneski

well you know i'm going to dig the hell out of this one Michael.So much fantastic writing in this,i can't pick on anything about it.I really love the title and play on it.It's enjoyable to read these types of lyrics.Can't wait for the music!Mike

Hey Mike,

I understand your inspiration source. Same thing happened to me with "Downton Abbey". Those British period pieces really grab you.

Your lyrics are well written and inspiring. Had to check out the word "bummer". Thought it may not fit the time period. But, found this origin: derived from bummler, meaning “loafer" as in lazy person. First known use 1855.

Anyway, I'll look forward in hearing the finished music track. Though I don't think it will make the Billboard top 10. LOL Could end up on Wolf Hall though.

Just watched some of the Wolf Hall's videos on the Net. Nice music. Reminds me of the background music on Downton Abbey. Maybe the same composer???

Best, John

Wolf Hall finished a few weeks ago over here,no more from Cromwell lurking about in the shadows, in fact the entire series was shadowy, as I suppose it must have been in the 16th century. But there were some admirable qualities in Cromwell. His loyalty to Wolsey was steadfast to the very end. whereas Henry diposed of folks at the iop off of a head, Cromwell as well later on
This is a good write, I'm not so sure where you go with a lyric on this theme, but it's a good one. it would be interesting to hear your take on the melody also Mike.
Travis

Hi Mike,

This had me grinning from beginning to end and it had me really, really hooked into the storyline!

I read the lyric without reading your introduction and when I got to the word "bummer," I paused. And then I went back and re-read your comment, questioning that word!

I think this has more than enough comic element in it go get away with using "bummer!" (Although I did think of "stunner." Just tossing that out.) I was imagining the singer in costume, and as an aside, using the word "bummer" and the audience laughing!

Of course, it's a tragic comedy because I was quite distressed by the ending! But, again, I imagined him being hung, lying on the ground, "dead" and then popping his head up -- lol!

Delightful write!

Lisa

Thanks Michael!

Some songs take 35 years to write. All the planets have to line up in a certain way. Other songs drop because they are ripe from the get go.

Thanks for the enthusiastic response.

Mike

Hi John,

I love Downton Abbey as well. I do hope we get another season, some story lines are up in the air.

No, different composers. DA is a guy names John Lunn and Wolf Hall a gal named Debbie Wiseman. But the confusion arises because yes, there are many stylistic similarities, in that both have their roots in "post-minimalism" and "systems music" which is a British variant that Micheal Nyman coined back in the eighties.

Wiseman splits the music between authentic Renaissance stuff, and the more repetitive modern stuff while still using older classical instruments, which makes for a nice blend. Lunn seemed to go for more overtly Romantic things in DA, if I'm remembering correctly, but they are both fantastic composers.

Aww, mannn..no top ten on Billboard?

I'm still thinking about "bummer" --it would work in a video of a guy singing in a real 15th century high ceiling-ed room, in full Renaissance regalia with a small standing audience circling him..then he gets to that line, sings it, and then in the audience you see people looking mystified and asking their neighbors "what is bummer?"

I had a girlfriend who said "yarg" and "bummer days" to no end, back in the eighties, so those words hold fond memories for me. But alas, if I do end up pitching this to a period show taking place in the Renaissance, you can rest assured, "bummer" is OUT. Fast as you can say "nick knack paddy wack-ro-nism."

Thanks again for the read through and kind words and conversation.

Mike

Hi Travis,

Wolf Hall just finished over here. It was my first awareness of Mark Rylance who gave Thomas Cromwell such a thoughtful performance, and Damien Lewis I've known from "Homeland" and "Band Of Brothers" --he is a force of nature, in my book.

Now I have to go back and re-watch "A Man For All Seasons" since Thomas More's character was rather peripheral in this.

Yeah, the lopping off of heads was the bingo moment for this song that had been brewing in my subconscious for decades, believing that there actually was such a thing as "the troubadour's curse"--I didn't set this to paper cuz I had no ending--until Wolf Hall reminded me of the brutality of the sentencing back then, and I had a "doh!" moment that the singer being offed at the end had alluded me for so long.

I will definitely put music to this. Maybe not pure Renaissance music, but I do have some "virtual instruments" like crumbhorns and lutes to put the piece in that general mood!

Thanks again for reading and commenting and all, I appreciate that!

Mike

Hi Mike,

It’s so cool how you can focus your mind and “get into character” to create something like this! It’s got the flavor, tone and rhythm of an anthem toward the devotion of love! It’s really excellent.

My favorite lines are:

I’d be smoth’ring the tongue of a bell
And be bashing myself into high noon”.

I think the sparse chorus and longer verses contrast nicely. I could hear an echo to, “Belongs to thee” for some reason. To emphasize the emotion with that extended vowel-holding you mention, maybe. Just a thought...you’ll know when you play with the music most likely.

Great details and word choice throughout, especially with those alliterations!

It must be heard!

Kristi

Hi Lisa,

It makes me happy to know this had you in constant smile mode.

Yes! Your idea makes a case for bummer as working in a live presentation. As I told John, it could also work in a Renaissance-y looking video where the singer sings "bummer" and the crowd encircling the singer all look at each other, confused, mouthing the word "bummer."

Ha! How often have I "died" .. ..only to pop my head back up..ah yes, those days as a live performer are pretty much behind me, now.

Thanks again for looking in and making ME smile, as usual.

Mike

Hi Kristi,

Thanks. Getting into character took major doses of Renaissance language--that and just me being myself, cuz truth be told I've have had a bit of "the Troubadour's Curse" in my life, and so I just put myself into his--the character in my song's--shoes.

You know I'm a fan of James Hillman's writing, and so turning my neurotic behavior into something mythological/archetypal was a way of dealing with it and at the same time finding the humanity in it and kind of understanding it. Well, 15th Century is not far back enough for archetypes, but it was close enough for me. I think most men have a Queen in their life who they secretly love or at least want to impress. There is some kind of archetypal pull, there.

Ha! Yes, the whole image of smothering the bell grew from the cliche "to hold ones tongue" --since I was looking at material about how hard it was not singing the songs I had written for the Queen to the Queen. The smothering of the bell was "backwards engineered" by going from the tongue in my mouth to the tongue of a bell.

Thanks again for dropping by and commenting, and it makes me very happy to know that you enjoyed it.

Mike

I can identify with this lyric because I'm a bit of a modern-day troubadour - and I get the impression that we share that experience. As we travel our "Queen" becomes the fans we see when we return to venues where we previously performed and we know there's an expectation to meet the level of our previous creations that were favorably received. And it becomes a challenge to repeat the same level of entertainment value lest the "Queen" may reject us. So if the cinema got it right, your lyric speaks to the heart of the troubadour in us and may have a viable application in a musical or film where the plot involves a troubadour. Excellent work so far - but you're not done.

Hi summeoyo,

Wow, a movie? If I wrote the script..hmmm...I think the plot device in "The French Lieutenant's Woman" could work..two parallel timelines, one in Renaissance England, and one modern times. A tragic comedy. Modern guy, a busker, falls deeply in love with an unattainable woman. This happens after some old dude the busker had cussed out for not tipping after listening for an hour places "the troubadour's curse" on the singer.

The singer writes these amazing songs for her that he keeps to himself, except once in a while, to make a busking buck, he'll sing one, and realizes that these songs connect with people--make them weep profusely. He might even go on to make a name for himself with these songs. But it really doesn't matter to him, for his heart is lost to his beloved, and unrequited love songs are small recompense for his condition.

The Olde England action could take place while the man sleeps, suggesting that he's dreaming this other existence. Maybe it helps lead him to action in his real life. To be brave, because after all, even though he can imagine if his dreams take him up to his own beheading..how plausible is something THAT bad happening to him in his modern life? After all, these dreams are just symbolic, he might think to himself..

Anyway, thanks for getting me going there..it certainly could make for an interesting script or two..

Mike