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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 262
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OP
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Hi folks, I just got this worktape back from my co-writer Tom Hoy who was kind enough to put the music to my lyric. He added a pre-chorus to fit the melody. We're looking for feedback on the music and lyrics before we get this demoed. I'll also be giving this to a song coach for evaluation. "Against My Will" https://soundcloud.com/user1484170/against-my-will-worktape"Against My Will" Words and music (C) 2015 Darin Martin and Tom Hoy (v1) I don't want to love you But I love you all the time Wish I could walk away from you With whats left of my pride (Pre-Chorus) Cause tomorrow we will feel regret For the love we make tonight Cause we both have someone else In our lives (Chorus) I'm loving you against my will It's a feeling I can't seem to kill I never seem to get my fill Of loving you Tonight I'll fall under your spell Your kiss is stronger than my guilt Until the sun comes up over those hills I'll be loving you (v2) The only time you kiss me Is when no one is around I sit right here and take it Every time you let me down (Pre-Chorus 2) I'm tired of what we have to do To keep this love alive Still I fly into the flame One more time (Repeat Chorus) (Bridge) My friends say I should let you go But loving you is all I know (Repeat Chorus)
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,177
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Hey Darin & Tom. Before you get it demoed you should check out Gary Allan's Loving You Against My Will. I think they are different enough, at least in song structure they are.
Your pre chorus sounded like a normal verse. There was no lift. No change in melody.
Last edited by AaronAuthier; 04/21/15 04:14 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 630
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Hi, Darin. Generally good. I have a couple of thoughts. "But I love you all the time." Just seems to miss to me. Maybe a change to something like "...need you all the time." Or, "But my heart puts up a fight." The first verse indicates he does't want to love her. The first pre- chorus, too. And even the chorus. The second verse and second pre-chorus laments that they must hide their love because of others. And, that he doesn't want to. It seems to me that they should be on the same page --- hiding their love. "The only time that we kiss... We have to hide our fire, Until the time I lay you down." Works with the coming "flame." Or, maybe he doesn't have a signicant other. That would make your version make more sense. "'Cause tomorrow you will feel regret for the love we make tonight. 'Cause both of us know that you have another in your life." "Still I'll fly into the flame, every single time." Consider, also, "But the fire is all I know." A lot to consider. Hopefully, good thoughts. Dave
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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I was wondering who would want to sing this as it shows the singer and lover as cheaters. My sympathies at the moment lie with the "someone else". If you write in something negative about their "someone else" relationship it would work better imho. Something like "Night Spell" by George and Tammy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY-DT4lX-Yw In that song, although they are also "cheaters" they still get the sympathy. Vic Vic
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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yes this is a cheating song but it sounds like they are hiding it until the bridge when it mentions that all the friends know so someone is gonna get shot in my book.Might wanna change the bridge and keep them a secret.Mike
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 784
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Hi Darin...I dig some of the lines you've used, but it may be tough to get someone to want to sing this, as it paints the singer in a negative light. "I'm a cheater and so is the woman I am sleeping with lol." Ya' can't say it any more clearer than you did in what you call your first pre chorus (which is really just another verse in this case as there is no rise or differentiation from the 1st verse). Before considering a demo, I would suggest some rewriting and perhaps changing your angle. Don't make it so blatant, maybe paint the picture of a daydream/fantasy, an infatuation that hasn't been acted on, or make it 3rd person instead of 1st person, so the singer is singing about someone other than himself, something along those lines. A lot of possibilities without stating the obvious. Good luck with it. -TK
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
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This is well written and sounds good. Sounds like it could be modern country with the right production and harmonies.
I understand what others are saying about "who would want to sing this?", but this situation is pretty common and frankly there are people who would sing about anything so don't let that stop you.
I would ask why you are demoing it. If it is to pitch for a cut, there is practically no chance of getting one no matter how good the song is unless you are tied in with an artist.
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