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#469432 - 01/29/07 02:38 PM You Had Me At Goodbye  
Joined: Dec 2000
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couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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cochise, az, usa
country tonk...

You Had Me At Goodbye

Beer from the Frigidaire, sat back in my old chair
to watch the Walker marathon
but my girlfriend came in, told me "goodbye" but then
kept ramblin' 'bout all I'd done wrong

well, Chuck was kickin' ass, had to shut her up fast
so I finished off my Coors
I crushed the empty can, then with a wave of my hand
I said "no need to say any more

cos you had me at goodbye
you made your bed...don't bother to lie
cos I don't give a flying nun
you claim you're the mistreated one
your tears don't hold water
so don't bother to cry
I'm tired of bein' had
and you had me at goodbye

I heard through word of mouth, you took a trip down south
and burned your back in the hot Baja dunes
cos you were knockin' boots, with some surfer dude
who put the "buff" in buffoon

so lemme haul your bag, out to your waiting cab
hell...I'll even spring for the tip
you've gone too far this time, so I'll spend my last dime
to give you a nice long guilt trip

cos you had me at goodbye
you made your bed...don't bother to lie
cos I don't give a flying nun
you claim you're the mistreated one
your tears don't hold water
so don't bother to cry
I'm tired of bein' had
and you had me at goodbye

you had me at goodbye
you had me at goodbye...

(c)2007 Robert George

#469438 - 01/29/07 02:55 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Wolvman Offline
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Pretty dang good there, Sir. The Walker marathon tripped me up at first, thinking he was watching track and field, but the Chuck reference clears it up fine.

Other than that, if you don't want to use "had" twice co close together, maybe try "used":

I'm tired of bein' used
and you had me at goodbye

...but knowing you, the 2 "hads" were quite intended. Good work on this one.


~Wolvman~
#469440 - 01/29/07 02:57 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: Wolvman]  
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couchgrouch Online content
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cochise, az, usa
thanks Wolv...the double use of "had" is a turn of phrase. smile

#469446 - 01/29/07 03:11 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Wolvman Offline
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Ah, I see. Well, I don't really have any sugs for you. The only other thing that stuck out at me was him being a lazy TV watching beer drinking guy....but the cheating by the woman makes that pale. Still, you could have him working on his truck drinking sweet tea or something ....to make him more a hero, then again kuntry songs is messy, right?


~Wolvman~
#469448 - 01/29/07 03:13 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: Wolvman]  
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couchgrouch Online content
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Wolv, the lyric doesn't say that he's lazy...just that he's gonna drink a beer and watch some tube. I think 99% of the pop can relate to that, haha.

#469449 - 01/29/07 03:15 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Samuel Harris Offline
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I knew where this one was going from reading the title and that's a good thing! I think the chorus could be better constructed although I love the elements in it- "I don't give a flying nun", "your tears don't hold water" and your clever use of "had" at the end.
This lyric reminded me of Brad Paisley's song "I'm gonna miss her".

Well I love her but I love to fish
I spend all day out on this lake and hell is all I catch
Today she met me at the door said I would have to choose
If I hit that fishin' hole today she'd be packin' all her things
And she'd be gone by noon

Well I'm gonna miss her when I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore and I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me when I walk through that door tonight
Yeah I'm gonna miss her oh looky there I've got a bite

Now there's a chance that if I hurry I could beg her to stay
But that water's right and the weather's perfect
No tellin' what I might catch today

So I'm gonna miss her...When i get home
Right now I'm on this lakeshore and I'm Sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me, When i walk through that door tonight
Yeah I'm gonna miss her oh looky there I've got a bite


"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
#469450 - 01/29/07 03:18 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: Samuel Harris]  
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couchgrouch Online content
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thanks NC...I've heard Brad's song...talk about a lyric having a hook, and not much else. BP makes it work, though.

#469631 - 01/30/07 01:27 AM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Sofa King Bixby Offline
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home and loving it
robert,

Now my memory isn't what i remember it to be, but didn't you do a song by a similar title earlier? if so, trash it. this is much better. good use of the hook, and imagery

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=718667
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/stephenbixby
#469699 - 01/30/07 09:38 AM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: Sofa King Bixby]  
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Calvin Online content
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Robert.

I'm also a big fan of these lines.

I don't give a flying nun",

"your tears don't hold water"


Nicely done.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#469714 - 01/30/07 12:03 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: Calvin]  
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Skip Johnson Offline
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Couchgrouch,

Good turn around on the previously made famous by a song phrase "You Had Me at Hello". Your story line is believable, and the guy accepting the goodbye comes through as a sypmathetic character, I think, because she'd been cheating on him.

Good work. Keep writing.

Skip

#469715 - 01/30/07 12:04 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: Calvin]  
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John Voorpostel Offline
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Not sure about "guilt trip" ....why would that be? Nothing indicates she would feel guilty, and he's beyond caring???


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

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#469865 - 01/30/07 05:16 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: John Voorpostel]  
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couchgrouch Online content
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thanks everyone. smile

Sofa, this is the first time I've used that hook.

John, she might feel guilty he knew she'd cheated, rather than playing the injured party as shown in the chorus. nothing in the lyric says he's beyond caring...he's obviously bitter.

#1078674 - 04/06/15 03:32 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: couchgrouch]  
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couchgrouch Online content
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smile

#1078677 - 04/06/15 03:49 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: couchgrouch]  
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Charlie2015 Offline
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Well, I had one called "You had me At Hell No"

Maybe somebody will steal it from me and make me quasi famous!

#1078748 - 04/07/15 01:57 AM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: Charlie2015]  
Joined: Dec 2004
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kmaquilan2000 Offline
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New York City, NY, USA
Hi there Robert,

I love the lyrics - very clever twist on "You Had Me From Hello". I'm just curious how this will sound with music.

Good luck with this!


Karen

#1078802 - 04/07/15 03:57 PM Re: You Had Me At Goodbye [Re: kmaquilan2000]  
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couchgrouch Online content
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couchgrouch  Online Content
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cochise, az, usa
Thanks Karen. I'd have to rewrite this. Some of the references are dated. Plus, to be commercial I'd have to change the POV to female of publishers would say it might offend women. I disagree but that's reality.

Good luck with your version. smile


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