JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Where Does Love Go. Vic

Not sure what the genre is. Maybe pop, maybe country.
But here's my latest effort.
Would like your comments on it please.

Vic

Here's the links:
https://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold/where-does-love-go
http://sclk.co/s7sbck

Where does love go? © 2015 Vic Arnold

v1
Where does love go when it goes away?
Does it know when it's leaving?
Does it run to live another day
when we take without giving?
v2
It's an accidental fall of dice.
When you're winning you believe it.
It can happen to us once or twice.
and we sure know it when we feel it.

ch
Are you there? Can you hear me?
Where are you, now your needed?
How could you disappear?
All I know is .. you're .. not here.
v3
There was a time I held you in my hand,
but you slipped away without goodbye.
Was I looking in the wrong place? I guess I'll never understand
Tell me who, where, what and why.

ch

Inst.

br
Can you see me? Can you heal me,

ch
Tag

Vic,

What a great song! And as you just said -- could cross over genres. This is sweet, fabulous melody, great production/arrangement, & performance to my ears.

Much impressed.

steady-eddie.

Yes I can hear U...... and you sound marvelous.
Love that backing vocal and that uhh... mandolin?

Envious of that little piano break, so short but so perfect.

Performance wise, a brilliant start to this one, Vic.

No doubt you'll tighten it up, lyrically but you definitely have an interesting question in the title.

All the best with it.

Eddie.
Coning from the dissector, I thank you.

Vic

Hi Vic,

Oh man, this really tears at the heartstrings!
SO forlorn ... where does love go?
Beautiful song!

Lisa

Hullo Nelson.
Thank you for your comments and appreciation.
Have you any suggs on where I may be able to tighten it up?

Vic

Lisa.
Thank you for that. I'm happy it made your heartstrings tear, sort of.

Vic

Can’t say that I do, Vic.
I love the musical arrangement and I think you’ve chosen an interesting / tough question to tackle in the song but sorry no suggestions come to mind.

Forgive my failing memory if I've asked you this before but are you actually playing the piano?

Nelson, I don't think you asked me before but it's a loop.

Vic

This is a sad one - touching and heartfelt. nice use of the loops, you put the music together well and fit to the mood. Interesting how you went from the philosophical question to the more personal. Nice writing.

Hi Pete.
I am grateful. Thank you.

Vic

Nice work as usual, Vic. Great production as well.

Stevie

Hi Stevie. Thanks. Good to see you.

Vic

Good melody and great production. Yes this song can fall into many genres.

The country lyricist in me comes out and wants more information as to where she went. So many songs are about losing love, I think this one would benefit more if you explained more about the accidental fall of the dice or a bridge to better explain your chorus.

Sounds great though, thanks for sharing.

Iggy, it's not so much "she" as "it".
It's more about love as an entity. How it just seems to come from nowhere as luck in a fall of dice, and then sometimes just vanishes. I hope that makes sense.

Thank you for the listen and the comment.

Vic

A heartfelt plea Vic,I like the piano intro which set up this great ballad.Simple in a way but most of the best songs are-until you try to write them
Travis

Thanks Travis.
That's very true.

Vic

this is such a nice song.

V1, is my fav, real cool.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Calvin.
Much appreciated. Thank you.

Vic

Well done! Musically, it feels right on. Lyrically, nearly there, just a few lines feel cumbersome:

It's an accidental fall of dice - Maybe a RANDOM ROLL of dice would sing smoother?

Verse 3 to me is the weakest link.

There was a time I held you in my hand - WHEN I HELD YOUR HAND or I HELD IT IN MY HAND

but you slipped away without goodbye

Was I looking in the wrong place? I guess I'll never understand - WAY TOO LONG OF A LINE
Tell me who, where, what and why

These last 2 lines might be a good place to tell (or show) us what went wrong. Even just a hint. Can anybody really be this clueless? Not in a country song!

For the first 2 verses, you're singing ABOUT love, but in the chorus you're singing TO it. Then you sing TO it in V3. Why the switch?

Finally, if this is a song for you, disregard the rest, but if you're looking for more for this song, you need to get your hook into the chorus. You want listeners to remember the title and they expect to hear it, ususally in the chorus and more often than once. Just an idea:

Now that you're (it's) needed, how could you (it) disappear
Where does love go
Can you (it) hear me even thought you're (it's) not here
Where does love go

I like the concept overall and think you're onto something really good.

Ricki

Hi Ricki.
Thanks for having a listen.
Some valid comments there.

I am actually quite proud of V3 as it (to me anyway) makes an interesting change from the other verses.
I remember a song writer (can't remember who it was) saying that you should always ensure that each verse or chorus should be sung slightly differently.
I think you may have a point about singing to love in that verse though and will substitute "IT" for "YOU" there to avoid the "switch".

Finally, the hook isn't the title. The hook, in this case, to me is the first and maybe last part of the chorus.

Hope that makes sense.

Vic

Hi Vic:

I enjoyed this ballad... loops and all, LOL... and as always, your vocal really gives meaning to your words. No nits here... you have been given some sterling ideas by Ricki and you always know what else needs to be done. Much potential here and I wish you the best with it.

Dave

Thanks Dave, I appreciate your support.

Vic

Vic, then maybe the title should reflect that, although, I think the current title is more unique and memmorable, in which case that should be part of the chorus. Just sayin...

Ricki

Ricki.
Traditionally, you are correct.
I will give it some more thought.
Thank you for your own thoughts.

Vic

Vic,

I decided to chime in again here concerning my feelings on this song title. I like it. Here is why. First, I don't see this as a "chorus driven song," where a more traditional "chorus-title" relationship is imperative. Not at all that the chorus doesn't do it's job, it does. The verse melody is powerful in it's own right and strong enough not to depend on the chorus for capturing the listener's attention--I always strive for that myself, sometimes you get it other times not. My thoughts are that this song as a "whole unit" reflects this title well, so I think this title works well for me as a listener, and as a songwriter.

I did catch myself turning down the volume immediately after the piano intro and then feeling as if I was losing that beautiful piano a bit. I'd back off on the lead vox about 4-5 db, especially at the outset letting the "post intro" be less abrupt with volume. You might gradually pick it up a little as the song develops such as with the chorus. Keeping it slightly lower should IMO add a softer passionate feeling.

No question, I think this is your most powerful melody that I've heard from you, and I've heard some really good ones.

steady-eddie.

Eddie.
I feel that what you say re the type of song is right.
I'm still pondering whether to change the 3rd. verse from "you" to "it" though.
Also, I'll try turning the vox down and see how that sounds.
Thanks again for the suggestion.
Vic

well dang Vic,i thought i done chimed in on this one.Well i can't say much more than the others,this is really a nice song.Mike

Hi Mike.
Glad you made it. Thank you.

Vic

Glad I checked this song out Vic.

Poignant . . . but making me sad right now!!

Doug

Thanks Doug.
I'm glad you were sad in a way.

Vic

Nice tune and nice mix of instrumentation -- every thing sounds pretty clear. I also thought that the vocal was too loud in the beginning and a maybe a few other parts. Instead of turning down the volume, use a volume envelope to bring the vocal up and down as needed. See the vocal volume sounds fine during the chorus. You are doing pretty well with all this production stuff

I did that Kevin.
Not uploaded it yet though.

Thanks for listening and the appreciation.

Vic

Oh...how far behind have I gotten?? So sorry my friend...

This is BEAUTIFUL, such a heartfelt write...

Wonderful vocals, lots of emotions in this...wow...

Your pauses in this are so perfect...just love it all around..

So amazed that I know such a gifted songwriter...

Tammy

Hey, Tammy I wondered if you'd like this one.
Glad you caught it.

Thank you.
Vic***