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#1064985 - 11/07/14 02:10 PM Who's Going to Hold me When I cry?  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,898
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Who's Going to Hold me When I cry?

v 1
Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go
how would I carry on, would my feelings show?
Would I laugh again, how slow would time go by?
And who's going to hold me when I cry?

v 2
They say time heals wounds, but time moves so slow,
one minute you'd be here, for eternity you'd go.
Could I live without you, would I live a lie?
And who's going to hold me when I cry?

Bridge
Can't believe how good you've made me feel
have to pinch myself to make sure it's real
Keep to myself these foolish fears
all the uncertainty and silly tears.

V3
Couldn't even go away to hide the pain
wherever I'd go, couldn't bare to hear your name.
Would I meet a new love, in some another guy?
would he hold me like you did when I cried?

Last edited by Travis david; 12/20/14 11:53 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1067678 - 12/05/14 01:51 AM Re: Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 236
Chris Erhardt Offline
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Chris Erhardt  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 236
NYC/L.A.
What do you think about this?

Intro (very acoustic with a guitar or piano)

Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go
how would I carry on, would my feelings show?
Would I laugh again, how slow would time go by?
And who's going to hold me when I cry?

V1 (create a flow and making the sound a little fuller)

They say time heals wounds, but time moves so slow,
one minute you'd be here, for eternity you'd go.
Could I live without you, would I live a lie?
And who's going to hold me when I cry?

Chorus (very full power ballade sound)

Who's gonna hold me when I cry
Who's gonna be with me through the night
If he left, he'd take a part
Of my forever broken heart

V2 (taking it down a little bit again)

Couldn't even go away to hide the pain
wherever I'd go, couldn't bare to hear your name.
Would I meet a new love, in some another guy?
would he hold me like you did when I cried?


Chorus (very full power ballade sound)

Who's gonna hold me when I cry
Who's gonna be with me through the night
If he left, he'd take a part
Of my forever broken heart

Bridge (keeping the full sound with different chord progression)

Can't believe how good he's made me feel
have to pinch myself to make sure it's real
Keep to myself these foolish fears
all the uncertainty and silly tears.

Chorus (very full power ballade sound)

Who's gonna hold me when I cry
Who's gonna be with me through the night
If he left, he'd take a part
Of my forever broken heart

Who's gonna hold me when I cry
Who's gonna be with me through the night
If he left, he'd take a part
Of my forever broken heart

Outro (very acoustic again, copy of the intro without the last two lines)

Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go
how would I carry on, would my feelings show?


https://tunedly.com - Connecting you to the world's best session musicians online.

Contact me at chris@tunedly.com
#1067695 - 12/05/14 11:03 AM Re: Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? [Re: Chris Erhardt]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,898
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Posts: 10,898
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Very good SG do you write music and sing?
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1067748 - 12/05/14 04:06 PM Re: Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 236
Chris Erhardt Offline
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Chris Erhardt  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 236
NYC/L.A.
Thanks for the feedback. Myself, I don't sing (well, I do but most people run when I start). We work with session singers here at the studio that do the vocals. I believe you sent me a PM. I'll have a read through it and reply to you there.

Thanks,

Chris


https://tunedly.com - Connecting you to the world's best session musicians online.

Contact me at chris@tunedly.com
#1068032 - 12/07/14 11:49 PM Re: Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? [Re: Chris Erhardt]  
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 106
Lee M Streitz Offline
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Lee M Streitz  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 106
Minnesota
Hi Travis,

I like your lyric a lot. I go with what Chris said.
He's liked a few of my lyrics.
Very nicely written. Makes you really feel the song and the heartfelt words.

Good luck with it.
Lee


Thanks for checking out my songs. I hope you enjoy them.
#1068078 - 12/08/14 11:29 AM Re: Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? [Re: Lee M Streitz]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,898
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,898
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks Lee I appreciate your comments
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1069534 - 12/20/14 06:35 AM Re: Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 528
Moosesong Offline
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Moosesong  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 528
Vacaville, CA, USA
I love the title. Caught me right away.

Part of the song sings to 'you' and part sings about 'he'. I think going with all one way or the other would be better.

I like the lyrics. they are very good, but not as powerfull as the title. they are in the hypothetical realm of 'if' this happened, what would I do. and that works well and there are lots of songs that take that approach. so feel free to disregard what I propose next.

The title (to me atleast) paints a picture in my head that looks like this... The lover is already heading out the door, the singer is despearately pleading, tears are already flowing, and the singer asks this title question as a last ditch effort to convince the lover to stay or think it over.

Only my take on it, feel free to disregard.


David Hunkins
Music page
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=707030

There is only one "best", the best you can.
#1069540 - 12/20/14 11:55 AM Re: Who's Going to Hold me When I cry? [Re: Moosesong]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,898
Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 10,898
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Moose
I've altered the "HE" in the bridge to a "YOU" thanks for that suggestion.
I think it needs a rewrite or two and I thank you for your input
Tracvis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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