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Joined: Jun 2011
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Who's Going to Hold me When I cry?
v 1 Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go how would I carry on, would my feelings show? Would I laugh again, how slow would time go by? And who's going to hold me when I cry?
v 2 They say time heals wounds, but time moves so slow, one minute you'd be here, for eternity you'd go. Could I live without you, would I live a lie? And who's going to hold me when I cry?
Bridge Can't believe how good you've made me feel have to pinch myself to make sure it's real Keep to myself these foolish fears all the uncertainty and silly tears.
V3 Couldn't even go away to hide the pain wherever I'd go, couldn't bare to hear your name. Would I meet a new love, in some another guy? would he hold me like you did when I cried?
Last edited by Travis david; 12/20/14 11:53 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Nov 2014
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What do you think about this?
Intro (very acoustic with a guitar or piano)
Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go how would I carry on, would my feelings show? Would I laugh again, how slow would time go by? And who's going to hold me when I cry?
V1 (create a flow and making the sound a little fuller)
They say time heals wounds, but time moves so slow, one minute you'd be here, for eternity you'd go. Could I live without you, would I live a lie? And who's going to hold me when I cry?
Chorus (very full power ballade sound)
Who's gonna hold me when I cry Who's gonna be with me through the night If he left, he'd take a part Of my forever broken heart
V2 (taking it down a little bit again)
Couldn't even go away to hide the pain wherever I'd go, couldn't bare to hear your name. Would I meet a new love, in some another guy? would he hold me like you did when I cried?
Chorus (very full power ballade sound)
Who's gonna hold me when I cry Who's gonna be with me through the night If he left, he'd take a part Of my forever broken heart
Bridge (keeping the full sound with different chord progression)
Can't believe how good he's made me feel have to pinch myself to make sure it's real Keep to myself these foolish fears all the uncertainty and silly tears.
Chorus (very full power ballade sound)
Who's gonna hold me when I cry Who's gonna be with me through the night If he left, he'd take a part Of my forever broken heart
Who's gonna hold me when I cry Who's gonna be with me through the night If he left, he'd take a part Of my forever broken heart
Outro (very acoustic again, copy of the intro without the last two lines)
Started thinking how I'd feel if you should go how would I carry on, would my feelings show?
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Very good SG do you write music and sing? Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Nov 2014
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Thanks for the feedback. Myself, I don't sing (well, I do but most people run when I start). We work with session singers here at the studio that do the vocals. I believe you sent me a PM. I'll have a read through it and reply to you there.
Thanks,
Chris
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Joined: Nov 2013
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Hi Travis,
I like your lyric a lot. I go with what Chris said. He's liked a few of my lyrics. Very nicely written. Makes you really feel the song and the heartfelt words.
Good luck with it. Lee
Thanks for checking out my lyrics. I hope you enjoy them.
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Thanks Lee I appreciate your comments Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Dec 2005
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I love the title. Caught me right away.
Part of the song sings to 'you' and part sings about 'he'. I think going with all one way or the other would be better.
I like the lyrics. they are very good, but not as powerfull as the title. they are in the hypothetical realm of 'if' this happened, what would I do. and that works well and there are lots of songs that take that approach. so feel free to disregard what I propose next.
The title (to me atleast) paints a picture in my head that looks like this... The lover is already heading out the door, the singer is despearately pleading, tears are already flowing, and the singer asks this title question as a last ditch effort to convince the lover to stay or think it over.
Only my take on it, feel free to disregard.
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Hi Moose I've altered the "HE" in the bridge to a "YOU" thanks for that suggestion. I think it needs a rewrite or two and I thank you for your input Tracvis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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