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#1061360 10/06/14 05:44 PM
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I Had My Affairs In Order

i had my affairs in order
now she's got a lawyer
it seems that she found
i've been runnin' 'round

i had my affairs in order
doin' what i shouldn't oughta
i found you can't juggle hearts
they wind up breakin' apart

i had Tonya on monday
Susie on tuesday
wednesday was for Maggie Mae
thursday was Betty
friday sweet Angie
saturday Sally helped me spend my pay

But she had my sundays
till monday came early
now my sundays are spent
thinkin' what a fool i've been

i had my affairs in order

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Hi Mike,

I really like this one. What a great idea. I've got a couple of thoughs, that may help you take this to the next level.

First one is to use gal names that follow close alphabetic order. Example: Annie on Monday, Bonnie on Tuesday, Cindy on Wednesday, etc. The other idea is to match the first letter of the girls' names with the days of the week. Example: Mandy on Monday, Tammy on Tuesday, Wendy on Wednesday, etc. Just a couple of thoughts to make people think more, lol. Nice job buddy.

David

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hey David,thanx for your time on this!The thought on those names crossed my mind,i just didn't go through with it,prob should.This one came real fast,i just actually threw some stuff together to go with the hook and then i thought i'd figure it out later with y'alls help.i appreciate ya!Mike

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Michael,

What a great idea for a song. Good work.

Dave smile

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I have seen this same idea before on these forums. Coincidence, I know.

It's hard to write this without it looking like bull ssssstttt, cause it is by nature a devised plot

Especially if you heed the advice about the names and days of the week with the same letter.

Shreds the believability of it, cause that would never happen in a million years. Of course, it would matter how it was presented musically, and whether it was meant to be funny or serious

I think it would be better in present tense. Much more demanding of our attention if it's happening right now, as opposed to then.

"I have my affairs in order"

Also not sure coming right in with the chorus works, it would pull the listner in more to start right with the action, then summarizing in the chorus.

Just my 2, doesnt seem like it's done yet, but pretty cool start

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no it's not done and prob will stay as is.It's just not hitting with me at all.And it's not a serious lyric for sure,i don't know anyone who would want to put themselves in that position,so to speak.I really don't know why i posted this one Bugsey.But i do jump the gun a lot.Thanx for your thoughts.Mike

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Mike, real clever title hook and first verse. It could be a hit with funeral directors, estate lawyers and punsters. I got a smile outta it.


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

https://dansullivan2.bandcamp.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dansullivan2
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thanx Dan!i need to hold some of these lyrics a bit longer and work em out before i post too soon.I'm glad it brought a smile however.Oh well,the hook made me do it.Mike

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Hey again Mike,

I just wanted to leave another comment. I would think the very nature of the lyric, places it squarely in the realm of fiction. My thought on the names was meant to build on that. Does it work? Perhaps we could ask George Strait. In his song "All My Ex's Live In Texas", he rhymes the women's names with the different cities. Overkill? Maybe. Again, did it work? : ) Just a thought.

David

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Good theme Mojo well thought through.
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Might be more believable with George Strait singing it, and writing it knowing he would or somebody like that would be singing it.

I kinda was thinking about MIKE the artist and not Mike the writer for some artist, so it probably would come down to who covered it.

Fat, old, bald broke indie guy couldnt sing this. Unless all his exes were cattle!

No sweat mike, I always like to keep it real in a song, I actually wrote one like this before, clever and witty, for me it worked cause it was more self defacing.

No problem with posting a song just cause there's room!

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smile Mike the writer or artist, I still like this fictional lyric. I do certainly agree that you should post away. I love to read first thoughts.

David

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Hey Mike,

Very clever -- I can see it going the fun route!

Lisa

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thanx for your time Travis!Mike

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Well the ladies know me Bugsey,so it is beleivable,lol!I understand what you're saying.A lot of established artists get away with some not so good stuff just because they're up there already.yes,i will keep posting and everything won't be up to par.thank ya.Mike

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hey,i appreciate ya David!Mike

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thanx Lisa,yep,it is meant for fun.Mike

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what a write. good idea to call 'em affairs, cause the guy must have been a busy man, so organized and overtime working (I'm almost happy he's been stopped before some stress LOL) . good one!

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Good start with good choruses! If your going on with it. lets figure out some good lesd in verses to emphasize the hook and it's multiple meanings that can be teased out of it...Gus

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thanx Max,one woman is hard enough to deal with,i couldn't imagine more.Thanx!Mike

Hey Gus,well this one was a late nighter scribblin' around,not even on the back burner,more in the pantry still.But i appreciate your time and thoughts on this one.I agree a little more power in the verses wouldn't hurt.Thanx.Mike


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