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#1053959 - 07/22/14 04:11 PM A Lesson Learned  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,462
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey all ... Would love some feedback on my latest. I hope all is well with everyone. Thanks for listening and commenting, if you so choose.

A LESSON LEARNED
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
Produced & Performed by David S. Becker
(c)2014 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/a-lesson-learned

INTRO
The writing's on the wall
I can hear my teardrops fall
And as my life comes crumbling down on me
I heed your call

VERSE 1
Son, the wonder of it all
To watch you grow from someone small
There's no regrets
Each breath's a lesson learned
Can't you see the memories on your wall
Live to tell
This lesson learned

CHORUS
I know that movin' on's not easy
But it's the price we pay to breathe
Each day's a lifetime filled with memories
Well son you live them
Or you leave
Choose to live
This lesson learned

VERSE 2
Well son the beauty of it all
You were once so tiny now so tall
So many smiles
To wash away those tears
A friend to catch you when you fall
Live to tell
This lesson learned

CHORUS
SOLO

BRIDGE
When you wake up in the morning
And when you go to bed at night
Each time you look into the mirror
I'll be beging you to fight
It's a lesson learned

CHORUS
A lesson learned

Last edited by GocartMoz; 07/22/14 04:19 PM.
#1053965 - 07/22/14 04:34 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,815
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi,

Good to see ya in here.

You're sounding good.

This is nice....

I know that movin' on's not easy
But it's the price we pay to breathe

And your solo is real COOOOOL

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#1053968 - 07/22/14 04:52 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Sep 2003
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Bill Osofsky Offline
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Bill Osofsky  Offline
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Utah
Sounding good, Dave. Really liked this one

Bill


#1053987 - 07/22/14 07:03 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: Bill Osofsky]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,292
Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
Nice one, Dave. Original sounding.
I like the musical change in verse two.
Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1054009 - 07/22/14 08:41 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Mar 2008
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Tom W. Offline
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Tom W.  Offline
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Dave,

Pretty song here! Still hearing that chorus in my head. Love how this song grew and developed as it progressed. Guitar sounding awesome btw! Nice write!

Tom W.


#1054019 - 07/22/14 11:23 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: Tom W.]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey Calvin and Bill,

Thx for the listen. I am glad you enjoyed it.

Dave

#1054020 - 07/22/14 11:44 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 647
Ricky Layne Offline
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Ricky Layne  Offline
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Oregon
Dave,

This song really grew on me the more i listened
Love the guitar work in verse 2.
Solo works great
I thought the bridge was good. .. maybe a bit too long.

Nice lyrical choices and subject for this song.

Solid work to be sure!

Ricky


#1054023 - 07/23/14 12:06 AM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: Ricky Layne]  
Joined: Nov 2011
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E Swartz Offline
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E Swartz  Offline
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Posts: 3,447
Ohio
Hi Dave!

What a really cool song! It didn't take long to feel like I was riding on a horse through the meadow at a nice easy canter--that's how this music and rhythm made me feel--would be a great scene song in a movie. You have a great talent for music/melody/flow.

Do I have any nits or thoughts? (Is the Pope Catholic)? Hey, no real nits, but a couple thoughts or ideas for consideration:

I was thinking about what Ricky said about the Bridge. I don't think it's too long, but it may "feel" longer due to how it summarizes musically. I might experiment having it build to a music cliff hanger, rather than capitulate or summarize--in this way I think it would allow the chorus to launch better. I'm not sure without hearing it, but I'm getting that feeling that it may work--proof's always in the pudding!

With this song's music rhythm, I think I prefer to hear it just fade--but I could be a little too old school. Dave, another great write from you, nice going!

steady-eddie.

#1054024 - 07/23/14 12:27 AM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Jan 2005
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Louisiana
where's the tip jar?This is def one of my faves of yours Dave.Everything about does it for me.Mike

#1054035 - 07/23/14 03:00 AM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Jun 2013
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Bugsey Offline
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Bugsey  Offline
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Sounds great, so many different influences going on here.

That's what u call easy listening.

#1054071 - 07/23/14 12:10 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: Bugsey]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
@Vic and Tom ... Thx much for the listen and comments, it is always appreciated.

Dave

#1054082 - 07/23/14 01:31 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,982
floyd jane Offline
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floyd jane  Offline
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Tampa
Dave,

Cool song.

I did not understand the Intro. It did not seem to relate to the rest of the song - I found myself wondering about it the whole time. But no one else has mentioned it - so I must be missing something...

The rest of the lyric is terrific "lesson learned" stuff..

The production is nice. The acoustic guitar during the verses is a bit "too bright" (IMO, of course). When the chorus hits, it blends in nicely - almost like you have different eq settings in the verses. I think the verse acoustic ought to sound the way the chorus acoustic does. In your bridge, the acoustic on the left (the strum) is a bit too loud. The picked on the right is just right. (ALL the guitar playing is excellent). It's just levels...

Very enjoyable. Great job on the arrangement.

floyd

#1054169 - 07/24/14 08:54 AM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: floyd jane]  
Joined: Feb 2013
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
@Ricky ... Thx for the listen Ricky. It is greatly appreciated.

@Ed ... Thx as well for the detailed crit. Definately hear you on a better transition from Bridge to final chorus. I also am going to experiment with the ending a bit.

@Michael ... Thx for the comments Michael. In as much as the virtual tip jar is empty, I could always use a donation.

Dave

#1054214 - 07/24/14 01:44 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,075
TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,075
New Hampshire
Dave,

Love the music in this, great guitar. Nice lyric, I agree the intro wasn't necessary in my mind, love the bridge. Very nice song!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#1054372 - 07/25/14 12:43 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: TamsNumber4]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey Bugsy and Floyd. Thanks much for the listen. It is greatly appreciated. Floyd, I hear you on the levels. That will get attention on a remix for sure. As far as the intro, I think your are talking lyrically about not getting it? Obviously it needs changing if it is not understood. What I was going for is that the intro is sung from the adult "son's" perspective. The "son" was obviously facing some difficult issues in his life and was at a crossroads. The verses, chorus and bridge are sung from the "parents" perspective in "teaching the lesson" so to speak. Anyway, that was the thought. Not sure it worked.

Dave

#1054379 - 07/25/14 01:44 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,301
Jan Petter Offline
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Jan Petter  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,301
HAUGESUND,NORWAY
Hi David ,
First of all , I really enjoyed the listen and performance . There was a
spot I could not not understand musically , the intro choir part does not IMHO
bring anything to the song in fact it separated the feel when the rest of the song hits in . IMO try the intro without that choir part . Your lead vocal works very well
but when you sing in harmony the second vocal struggle wich is a bit distracting .
And remember this is just my opinion :-))

All the best
Jan


"You have to react to what's around you in the moment, whatever the music is.
Just think of it as some place you have to enter and you need to find the key."

#1054508 - 07/26/14 12:10 PM Re: A Lesson Learned [Re: Jan Petter]  
Joined: Feb 2013
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Thx Tammy and Jan for the listen. It is much appreciated. Jan, a few that have listened to this didn't like the cheesy synth choir. I really liked it, but it is growing tired and I may indeed take your advice on giving it the axe. I did struggle on the harmony part and need to clean that up, as well. Thx for chiming in.

Dave


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