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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Cafe Wha?
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/04/24 03:30 PM
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Hey all ... Would love some feedback on my latest. I hope all is well with everyone. Thanks for listening and commenting, if you so choose. A LESSON LEARNEDMusic & Lyrics by David S. Becker Produced & Performed by David S. Becker (c)2014 David S. Becker Music All Rights Reserved https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/a-lesson-learnedINTROThe writing's on the wall I can hear my teardrops fall And as my life comes crumbling down on me I heed your call VERSE 1Son, the wonder of it all To watch you grow from someone small There's no regrets Each breath's a lesson learned Can't you see the memories on your wall Live to tell This lesson learned CHORUS I know that movin' on's not easy But it's the price we pay to breathe Each day's a lifetime filled with memories Well son you live them Or you leave Choose to live This lesson learned VERSE 2Well son the beauty of it all You were once so tiny now so tall So many smiles To wash away those tears A friend to catch you when you fall Live to tell This lesson learned CHORUSSOLO BRIDGEWhen you wake up in the morning And when you go to bed at night Each time you look into the mirror I'll be beging you to fight It's a lesson learned CHORUSA lesson learned
Last edited by GocartMoz; 07/22/14 05:19 PM.
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Hi, Good to see ya in here. You're sounding good. This is nice.... I know that movin' on's not easy But it's the price we pay to breathe And your solo is real COOOOOL Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Sounding good, Dave. Really liked this one
Bill
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Nice one, Dave. Original sounding. I like the musical change in verse two. Vic
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Dave,
Pretty song here! Still hearing that chorus in my head. Love how this song grew and developed as it progressed. Guitar sounding awesome btw! Nice write!
Tom W.
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Hey Calvin and Bill,
Thx for the listen. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Dave
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Dave,
This song really grew on me the more i listened Love the guitar work in verse 2. Solo works great I thought the bridge was good. .. maybe a bit too long.
Nice lyrical choices and subject for this song.
Solid work to be sure!
Ricky
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Hi Dave!
What a really cool song! It didn't take long to feel like I was riding on a horse through the meadow at a nice easy canter--that's how this music and rhythm made me feel--would be a great scene song in a movie. You have a great talent for music/melody/flow.
Do I have any nits or thoughts? (Is the Pope Catholic)? Hey, no real nits, but a couple thoughts or ideas for consideration:
I was thinking about what Ricky said about the Bridge. I don't think it's too long, but it may "feel" longer due to how it summarizes musically. I might experiment having it build to a music cliff hanger, rather than capitulate or summarize--in this way I think it would allow the chorus to launch better. I'm not sure without hearing it, but I'm getting that feeling that it may work--proof's always in the pudding!
With this song's music rhythm, I think I prefer to hear it just fade--but I could be a little too old school. Dave, another great write from you, nice going!
steady-eddie.
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where's the tip jar?This is def one of my faves of yours Dave.Everything about does it for me.Mike
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Sounds great, so many different influences going on here.
That's what u call easy listening.
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@Vic and Tom ... Thx much for the listen and comments, it is always appreciated.
Dave
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Dave,
Cool song.
I did not understand the Intro. It did not seem to relate to the rest of the song - I found myself wondering about it the whole time. But no one else has mentioned it - so I must be missing something...
The rest of the lyric is terrific "lesson learned" stuff..
The production is nice. The acoustic guitar during the verses is a bit "too bright" (IMO, of course). When the chorus hits, it blends in nicely - almost like you have different eq settings in the verses. I think the verse acoustic ought to sound the way the chorus acoustic does. In your bridge, the acoustic on the left (the strum) is a bit too loud. The picked on the right is just right. (ALL the guitar playing is excellent). It's just levels...
Very enjoyable. Great job on the arrangement.
floyd
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@Ricky ... Thx for the listen Ricky. It is greatly appreciated.
@Ed ... Thx as well for the detailed crit. Definately hear you on a better transition from Bridge to final chorus. I also am going to experiment with the ending a bit.
@Michael ... Thx for the comments Michael. In as much as the virtual tip jar is empty, I could always use a donation.
Dave
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Dave,
Love the music in this, great guitar. Nice lyric, I agree the intro wasn't necessary in my mind, love the bridge. Very nice song!
Tammy
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Hey Bugsy and Floyd. Thanks much for the listen. It is greatly appreciated. Floyd, I hear you on the levels. That will get attention on a remix for sure. As far as the intro, I think your are talking lyrically about not getting it? Obviously it needs changing if it is not understood. What I was going for is that the intro is sung from the adult "son's" perspective. The "son" was obviously facing some difficult issues in his life and was at a crossroads. The verses, chorus and bridge are sung from the "parents" perspective in "teaching the lesson" so to speak. Anyway, that was the thought. Not sure it worked.
Dave
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Hi David , First of all , I really enjoyed the listen and performance . There was a spot I could not not understand musically , the intro choir part does not IMHO bring anything to the song in fact it separated the feel when the rest of the song hits in . IMO try the intro without that choir part . Your lead vocal works very well but when you sing in harmony the second vocal struggle wich is a bit distracting . And remember this is just my opinion :-))
All the best Jan
"You have to react to what's around you in the moment, whatever the music is. Just think of it as some place you have to enter and you need to find the key."
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Thx Tammy and Jan for the listen. It is much appreciated. Jan, a few that have listened to this didn't like the cheesy synth choir. I really liked it, but it is growing tired and I may indeed take your advice on giving it the axe. I did struggle on the harmony part and need to clean that up, as well. Thx for chiming in.
Dave
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