Who's Online Now
21 registered members (CTthomas, couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, AntonyRobWells, Dave Rice, Gavin Sinclair, Everett Adams, Guy E. Trepanier, 4 invisible), and 949 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Posts: 4,166
Joined: September 2009
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Any suggestions
by Martin Lide. 12/07/19 04:22 PM
Loss
by Ricki E. Bellos. 12/07/19 03:04 PM
Your Underrated Songwriters
by Fdemetrio. 12/07/19 02:27 PM
"Early Morning Blues."
by MFB III. 12/07/19 12:46 PM
Nashville Don't do Country Anymore
by John W Selleck. 12/07/19 04:59 AM
Soldiers Field now musicated. Travis and Vic
by Travis david. 12/07/19 04:22 AM
FREE Demo for Christmas - ENDS in 6 DAYS
by Roy Cooper. 12/07/19 02:21 AM
Wallflower
by John W Selleck. 12/06/19 10:48 PM
The Lost Church, Dec. 8, 2019, 4 PM.
by Gary E. Andrews. 12/06/19 08:48 PM
Still getting over you
by the_lyricwriter. 12/06/19 08:42 PM
Still Getting over you
by the_lyricwriter. 12/06/19 08:40 PM
America I Know We’re Strong
by CTthomas. 12/06/19 06:44 PM
Has anyone worked with EastCraft Recording?
by bethanykoubsky. 12/06/19 03:23 PM
America I Know We’re Strong
by CTthomas. 12/06/19 11:23 AM
I remember
by CTthomas. 12/06/19 10:53 AM
Right Under Your Nose
by beechnut79. 12/06/19 10:51 AM
The Accidental Hero
by beechnut79. 12/06/19 10:47 AM
THE LOST CHAD SONG
by Ray E. Strode. 12/06/19 10:42 AM
Mexico
by MFB III. 12/06/19 12:44 AM
"The Gangster Trap."-by-J.A. Prod.Beat & Me!
by MFB III. 12/06/19 12:41 AM
All you get is me
by JAPOV. 12/05/19 11:35 PM
"If The Stars Can't Wait!.
by MFB III. 12/05/19 10:23 PM
Rising from the Dead (Updated)
by Deej56. 12/05/19 09:46 PM
December 1, 2019 Columbus, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews. 12/05/19 09:36 PM
Uphill Both Ways
by John W Selleck. 12/05/19 08:43 PM
The cleverest JPF song (lyric wise)
by couchgrouch. 12/05/19 06:06 PM
Explodin' Jeans
by John W Selleck. 12/05/19 05:28 PM
Christmas In Our Home Town by Lowell Gaines
by David_Pulizzi. 12/05/19 01:29 PM
Adios Amigo
by couchgrouch. 12/05/19 12:51 PM
Not Your Thing
by beechnut79. 12/05/19 11:39 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,789
Travis david 11,638
Kevin Emmrich 10,568
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,600
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,844
glynda 8,613
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,907
couchgrouch 7,622
Dave Rice 7,410
Corey 7,357
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,561
Joe Wrabek 6,403
Vicarn 6,184
ben willis 6,106
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
niteshift 5,519
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,652
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,363
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
Roy Cooper 4,166
nightengale 4,092
TamsNumber4 4,075
MFB III 3,865
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,813
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,523
Dottie 3,427
E Swartz 3,420
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,581
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,218
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,022
DukeWill 1,987
floyd jane 1,982
maccharles 1,961
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Martin Lide 1,603
Rick Heenan 1,597
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Fdemetrio 1,531
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,462
Tom Franz 1,455
GocartMoz 1,441
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,144
summeoyo 1,126
lane1777 1,118
Deej56 1,095
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
9ne 887
Drifter 886
Petra 883
90 dB 870
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
Andy K 744
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dayson 703
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
Irwin 630
CG King 622
Pat Hardy 621
douglas 621
Mel 614
Moosesong 604
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 493
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
JAPOV 469
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1047364 - 05/09/14 11:47 PM Love Without Measure  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Hello, JPFers! It’s been a lonnng time since I posted a lyric here, so I thought I’d toss one up and see where it lands! I did FAWM in February, but this one wasn’t part of it. lol So much to do with those, but good thing writing is an ongoing process! wink

I have some melody ideas for this lyric, so it’d be great to see how some objective eyes perceive it....if it connects with itself, flow, interest...etc...before I go any further. Thanks for your comments/suggestions! smile

*EDIT May 10th: I'm playing around with a few lines…so I've put them in blue to compare. I like to see what I had and *test* new ideas inside the lyric.

Love Without Measure

Where did the love end
Where do you go from here
Hope has no name when
You’re crying thru cloudy tears

How will you move on
How will you find some peace
Life can feel so wrong
When it’s dragging you thru the weeds OR ----When there is no harmony

And you’ll sink or swim, but you have to begin

[ch]
To love without measure
Soak in the pleasures
Give what you think you need
Sing for a moment
Attend to what’s broken
Play the piano keys
And love without measure
Love without measure

Why do you scramble
Why do you run away OR -----Why do the blues steal the days
Hearts tumble then tangle
But there is no one to blame

You can be happy OR What makes you happy
Take one breath at a time OR What makes the time fly by
Vast hills and valleys
Hold diamonds beneath the vines

Repeat lift, ch

[br]
A gift is a gift
There’s no meter stick
Forget what you think you know
Just grab the oars and row

Repeat lift, ch

©2014 Kristi McKeever


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047382 - 05/10/14 02:05 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,470
Lisa Gundling Offline
Top 20 Poster
Lisa Gundling  Offline
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,470
Hi Kristi,

It's so nice to see you back and posting!!! YAY!!!

As I read this, I thought ... it's quite lovely and delicate! Really pretty write!

One thing that struck me was the "sink or swim" line. It seems like a contradiction to say that even if you sink, you have to begin to love without measure, because sinking seems like...you've sunk already. Or, read another way, it looks like even if you love without measure, you might still sink. Which, I guess, is true, but I don't think that's the intent here. Maybe just a slight rewording?

I thought that the gift line came a little bit out of left field, even though I really like the whole bridge!
Lisa









#1047389 - 05/10/14 03:26 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Lisa Gundling]  
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 918
L. James Tanner Offline
Top 500 Poster
L. James Tanner  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2013
Posts: 918
Indiana
Good concept,lyric and use of words. I enjoyed this very much. As good as this is, I imagined that if you could have used a music or piano metaphor throughout the verses, it would really bring the chorus home when dealing with the "measure" aspect. Just a thought. Regardless, nice work.

#1047395 - 05/10/14 04:47 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: L. James Tanner]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,638
Travis david Online content
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Online Content
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,638
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Kristi
I like this one it holds hope for the future but this line I think doesn't fit in with the singers feelings" Why do you run away " as she/he isn't running, just trying to move on, a difference
Or at least that's how I read it lol
Best of luck with it
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1047399 - 05/10/14 05:24 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Jim Colyer Offline
Top 30 Poster
Jim Colyer  Offline
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Nashville, Tennessee usa
I like it. It shows how vulnerable we can be when love is no longer there. Here is my favorite line:

"Just grab the oars and row"


#1047413 - 05/10/14 07:23 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Jim Colyer]  
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,324
Michael LeBlanc Offline
Top 10 Poster
Michael LeBlanc  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,324
Louisiana
i really like this Kristi,nice write.Sinking doesn't bother me cause i've learned to swim underwater!

#1047431 - 05/11/14 12:55 AM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Lisa Gundling]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Hi Lisa!

Thanks for your nice reply! Hmm….reading what you wrote about the "sink or swim" line and it's swimming around in my head! grin I think I see what you're saying and I'll think on that a bit...

It's good to hear your thoughts on how the bridge struck you as well. It's fun and enlightening to see how a line is perceived….it's very helpful to the writing process, I find!

Thanks for taking the time to read over the lyric!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047435 - 05/11/14 01:13 AM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: L. James Tanner]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Originally Posted by L. James Tanner
Good concept,lyric and use of words. I enjoyed this very much. As good as this is, I imagined that if you could have used a music or piano metaphor throughout the verses, it would really bring the chorus home when dealing with the "measure" aspect. Just a thought. Regardless, nice work.


Thank you so much for your comments. It's funny, those "music" lines were added to the chorus after the verses as I wanted to make it *different*. I think it's an interesting idea to link that concept. I am playing around with a few lines to see how it might gel together. Great thoughts! Really appreciate it!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047437 - 05/11/14 01:17 AM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Originally Posted by Travis david
Hi Kristi
I like this one it holds hope for the future but this line I think doesn't fit in with the singers feelings" Why do you run away " as she/he isn't running, just trying to move on, a difference
Or at least that's how I read it lol
Best of luck with it
Travis


Hi Travis….thank you for your thoughts. I had a reasoning in my head for the "run away" line, but I'm already tossing in new ideas to help it all connect, and that line is one of them. Good to know how it felt to you…appreciate your time in reading and commenting!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047445 - 05/11/14 01:46 AM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Jim Colyer]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Originally Posted by Jim Colyer
I like it. It shows how vulnerable we can be when love is no longer there. Here is my favorite line:

"Just grab the oars and row"


Oh! I'm so glad to hear that is your favorite line! I was debating that line! I appreciate your thoughts very much! smile

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047448 - 05/11/14 01:48 AM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Originally Posted by Michael LeBlanc
i really like this Kristi,nice write.Sinking doesn't bother me cause i've learned to swim underwater!


grin Funny! Well, you know, I've always thought swimming is a valuable skill to acquire! Thank you for your nice comments!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047476 - 05/11/14 11:42 AM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,226
Douglas Murphy Offline
Top 40 Poster
Douglas Murphy  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,226
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hello Kristi. Long time no see for sure. Like me you dropped off for a while and like me you came back.

This it is coming along nicely. The suggestion so far have been very helpful and I am looking forward to the final re-write. Keep us posted.

douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
#1047494 - 05/11/14 02:58 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Douglas Murphy]  
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199
John Hoffman Offline
Top 100 Poster
John Hoffman  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199
St. Peters, Mo.
Kristi,
Looks like a fine start. The use of "you" feels generic as is. Maybe you could personalize it some for the singer.

pleasures/measure makes for a great hook line. Could even go full bore positive, downright sappy if you wanted.

Have fun,
John


Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
#1047523 - 05/12/14 12:57 AM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,844
Mackie H. Offline
Top 20 Poster
Mackie H.  Offline
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,844
NASHVILLE, TN
Kristi--

Glad to see a new post--

What you have is OK as a start with me--After reading several times, I keep asking why this lyric is HOWLING: Love without Pleasure!

May be another song, also--

So many souls are trapped for so many reasons in LOVE WITHOUT PLEASURE--Just thinking out loud!

Write on girl--

Mackie

#1047613 - 05/12/14 11:03 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Douglas Murphy]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Originally Posted by Douglas Murphy
Hello Kristi. Long time no see for sure. Like me you dropped off for a while and like me you came back.

This it is coming along nicely. The suggestion so far have been very helpful and I am looking forward to the final re-write. Keep us posted.

douglas


Yes, it's been awhile! I can't believe how fast time goes by….I may not always post, but I try to keep writing…it's what we must do! smile

Thanks for reading and commenting on this….I'm continuing to work on it…we shall see how it goes…

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047619 - 05/12/14 11:35 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: John Hoffman]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Originally Posted by John Hoffman
Kristi,
Looks like a fine start. The use of "you" feels generic as is. Maybe you could personalize it some for the singer.

pleasures/measure makes for a great hook line. Could even go full bore positive, downright sappy if you wanted.

Have fun,
John


Hi John,

Good suggestions. Overall in my mind it's a positive message as one person tries to motivate another…I don't give any more details than that, that's true. I am going over it all for things like that, so your comments are helpful. I hear the chorus as very definitive….intended to be a positive swing at life with music that reflects that…just how far is a good question!

Always fun to think of the possibilities! Thanks for your suggestions! smile

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#1047620 - 05/12/14 11:45 PM Re: Love Without Measure [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Originally Posted by Mackie H.
Kristi--

Glad to see a new post--

What you have is OK as a start with me--After reading several times, I keep asking why this lyric is HOWLING: Love without Pleasure!

May be another song, also--

So many souls are trapped for so many reasons in LOVE WITHOUT PLEASURE--Just thinking out loud!

Write on girl--

Mackie


Hi Mackie,

Nice to see you!

Hey, now there's a hook: "Love without Pleasure" wink

That would be another song, I think. Feel free to pen that one! It's good to hear the "thinking out loud" thoughts because the best ideas come from the brain churning out ideas and not editing itself in the process!

Thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
ClarkFord, bethanykoubsky, David_Pulizzi, LarryMagee, wpaul2999
21237 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics119,573
Posts1,127,018
Members21,237
Average Posts Daily31
Most Online3,244
Nov 8th, 2019
Just Plain Quotes
"The worth of your career to others is directly proportionate to the amount of importance you put into making contacts, nurturing leads and building real interpersonal relationships with those you hope will help you." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Paul Mascott (52)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0