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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Jun 2009
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Rough cut of a new song - Night In Tangier. Mostly acapella and djembe. Trying to get the harmonies down. Feedback welcomed. http://www.reverbnation.com/emmanuellawrence/song/20617947-night-in-tangier-04-15-14-roughNight In Tangier Emmanuel Lawrence Copyright 2014 VERSE 1 The plane touched down, dusk all around My mission in Morocco Twenty minute ride, uphill, north side To the city's Grand Socco VERSE 2 Tangier Inn, where we began I saw a dark-haired lovely I saw her see me, she looked so sweet I knew I wouldn't be lonely PRE-CHORUS 1 Then we danced, pre-romance Tango walking and our eyes did the talking I held her near, her hands in mine Close touching, the passionate kind CHORUS Night, night, night in Tangier Night, night in Tangier (3X) VERSE 3 Two cops came in, faces grim They were looking for me She saw them too; knew just what to do To help me stay free PRE-CHORUS 2 We still danced, pre-romance Tango walking while the cops were stalking I still held her near, her hands in mine We danced to the back door, the escaping kind REPEAT CHORUS VERSE 4 Down back-streets, midnight heat As I tried to explain Kissed her, told her I'd miss her But before I got on the plane PRE-CHORUS 3 Yes, we danced, sweet romance Tango walking and our eyes did the talking I held her near, our hearts entwined Close touching, the romantic kind REPEAT CHORUS & OUTRO
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Very nice. Good groove, well sung. Being picky? I'm getting siblence and pops.
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Get a drummer. Good stuff! Forget the cop stuff...keep it happy. Good voice.
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M_Glenn, thanks for listening. Re: getting siblence and pops, you're not being picky; it's a Flintstones home recording. The siblence is coming from uneven ending on "romance" and the pops are me too close to the mic. Needs to be professionally recorded!
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9ne, thanks for listening and the feedback. I did the recording with an open room mic and nTrack software. I need to take it into a real recording studio with real instruments.
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That's quite a performance! Very cool harmonies and jazzy melody.
There is a lot of mystery in the lyric.....some of that just comes from the location! More questions than answers. I think that's fine except that the part about the cops coming in and searching for our hero comes out of left field. We have no idea why cops would be looking for him. Maybe a line somewhere that would explain what would attract their attention. Or leave out the cops.......
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I like "fill in the dots" tunes, i.e., letting the listener resolve the mystery - so from the get-go this works for me. And, yes, this deserves a full production.
BTW, an embroidery hoop with a piece of sheer nylon clamped in it makes an effective pop filter.
Looking forward to hearing where this goes production wise!
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?" on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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Hey Emmanuel,
The story is set up really well, but not sure why the cops are there ? It's pre-romance, so it's as if they have just first met. It's all very suspense full which is good, but perhaps just a line to ease the listener into why they are running.
Great imagery, very mysterious, and the vocal arrangement suits the mood well.
Worth working on ? You bet.
cheers, niteshift
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Emmanuel, I took took the opportunity to listen to a few of your songs and was was really empresses with your vocal ability. You have a cool style and I get the impression you could sing almost anything if you wanted. Keep them coming... Enjoyed it!
Tom W.
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Emmanuel, sounding great. Maybe a few holes in the story, but what the hell Bill
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Colin, Janice/Bud and Niteshift- Thanks very much for the ears and feedback. I've gotten similar feedback on verse 2 (cops ref) and it's about 50-50 on the topic. Certainly, something to think about addressing.
Janice/Bud, thanks for the tip for DIY filter!
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Emmanuel!!
How are you?? So good to see you!!
Really liked the romantic mystery of the lyric!! the simplicity of just the beat and harmonies make me feel like I'm listening to a Bobby McFerrin song!
I think you know what all needs to be worked on after the comments and what you have said, but I will urge you to continue, I really enjoyed the listen and the atmosphere you created and so very happy to see you on the board!!
Tammy
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Hi Emmanuel, What an intriguing lyric! I can't decide whether I want to know more about the cops or not! Like you said -- 50/50 -- I can see the merit on both sides! The word "mission" does give a foreshadowing that something nefarious is coming, though! Sounds really cool! Lisa
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I like the mystery about the cops. Very interesting lyric to gradually build a couple of instruments around.
Vic
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Tammy, Lisa & Vicarn- Thanks so much for listening and the feedback. Much appreciated!
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