|
12 members (Fdemetrio, JAPOV, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, couchgrouch, Bill Draper, Everett Adams, 3 invisible),
1,240
guests, and
264
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=6906101&q=hiThe vocal and production is all Al THE MUSIC ENDED (verse) At a Friday evening church dance We were just teenagers then And it made me feel so great when You didn't let that guy cut in Well, we talked and drank some fruit punch for a while And I started learning how to make you smile Then we danced again. (chorus) When the music ended I felt awkward and unsure As I held on to you Cause I knew I wanted more We didn't know too much of love but we pretended When the music ended. (verse) We were married at that same church You were beautiful in white We made All My Life our first dance On that starfilled August night You smiled and we drank some champagne punch And I knew you only get this feeling once And we danced again (chorus) When the music ended It was just us on the floor And I held on to you I couldn't ask for any more. I stared into your eyes, time was suspended When the music ended. (bridge) Then you got sick and took a turn for the worse And I found myself, one rainy morning, back at that old church Praying for you and wondering how life would be If one day you weren't here with me (chorus) If the music ended And it was just me on the floor I'd still hold on to you With a love that's strong and sure Cause you'd leave me with a heart that can't be mended If the music ended Bill Osofsky, Al Carmichael copyright
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985 |
Geez, Bill... will that list never end - I'll bet there IS a dog somewhere - done in for sure!!! psycho-killer songwriter....
Rippin' out hearts wherever he goes...
Tender, touching, teary. Terrific.
Al's melody is really wonderful, too...
floyd
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
mighty fine job guys!Mike
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
great song and very beutiful.
Will play it to Helen later
God Bless Roy and Helen
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831 |
Bill and Al:
Now that's a country song. Al's melody and vocal bring out all the best of each line here. Sad, beautiful and sincere. Al's vocal has a quality that will take him a long way down this road we all attempt to travel. Wonderful work, guys. Sad... but stunning. ---Dave
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521 |
Hard to add to the above. It's all there and what's there is IMO what SHOULD be heard on country radio. The tawdry reality vignettes that pass for modern country PALE when faced with this type of writing.
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 784
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 784 |
Tear jerker, but beautifully done, Bill. Vocal delivery done really well and helps sell the emotion of the lyrics. Part of the lyrics felt a little like you were "reporting" a play by play almost, instead telling a story, particularly in the bridge. If you do another "take" you may want to start the bridge with "When" instead of "Then" and drop the "And" from the 2nd line of the bridge.
WHEN you got sick and took a turn for the worse
I found myself, one rainy morning, back at that old church
Loved this line in particular:
We didn't know too much of love but we pretended
When the music ended.
Nicely done!
Tim
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
[quote=floyd jane]Geez, Bill... will that list never end - I'll bet there IS a dog somewhere - done in for sure!!! psycho-killer songwriter....
Rippin' out hearts wherever he goes...
Tender, touching, teary. Terrific.
Al's melody is really wonderful, too...
Floyd, please don't turn me in. I know I can be reformed
Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
mighty fine job guys!Mike Thanks, Mike Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
great song and very beutiful.
Will play it to Helen later
God Bless Roy and Helen Roy, I hope Helen enjoyed it. Thanks for the listen Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Bill and Al:
Now that's a country song. Al's melody and vocal bring out all the best of each line here. Sad, beautiful and sincere. Al's vocal has a quality that will take him a long way down this road we all attempt to travel. Wonderful work, guys. Sad... but stunning. ---Dave Thanks, Dave. Al has a very trad country leaning and he's very good at it Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Hard to add to the above. It's all there and what's there is IMO what SHOULD be heard on country radio. The tawdry reality vignettes that pass for modern country PALE when faced with this type of writing. Thanks J&B. That's very nice of you Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Tear jerker, but beautifully done, Bill. Vocal delivery done really well and helps sell the emotion of the lyrics. Part of the lyrics felt a little like you were "reporting" a play by play almost, instead telling a story, particularly in the bridge. If you do another "take" you may want to start the bridge with "When" instead of "Then" and drop the "And" from the 2nd line of the bridge.
WHEN you got sick and took a turn for the worse
I found myself, one rainy morning, back at that old church
Loved this line in particular:
We didn't know too much of love but we pretended
When the music ended.
Nicely done!
Tim Thanks, Tim. I like your suggestion Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 623
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 623 |
Really well orchestrated story with the structure beautifully and masterfully carrying the story to it's tearful conclusion. I'm really impressed with how you laid this one out lyrically with the choruses changing so gradually to support the progression of the story and the relationship. I also REALLY love the pause you insert at the end of each chorus leading into the title line. That's an awesome touch that adds an extra measure of distinction to the vocal. You're the man, Bill, and this song once again demonstrates it very well. I loved it.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
Had another listen and you brought tears to Helen's eyes
God Bless Roy and Helen
Last edited by Roy Cooper; 04/03/14 07:10 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1 |
Hi Bill, As you know, I love funny songs/zany songs, but I can also appreciate emotion & beauty, this is one of the best. And your singer is sooooo smooth. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427 |
Hi Bill, I haven't listened to the whole song yet. I'm commenting as I go. I love the 1st verse, music, lyric, vocal. If this were my song I would end v1 on "how to make you smile" and soar into the chorus. Same thing with v2. (chorus) When the music ended I felt awkward and unsure As I held on to you Cause I knew I wanted more I believe this will sound better without "cause". It sounds just a tad rushed.
We didn't know too much of love but we pretended When the music ended. (chorus) When the music ended It was just us on the floor And I held on to you I couldn't ask for any more. This line sounds a bit rushed, maybe delete any?
I stared into your eyes, time was suspended When the music ended. This is a beautiful song!! Wow, I'm truly glad I listened.  Dottie
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Hey Bill,
You know this does have a classic country feel yet with a bit more sophistication with the arrangements. I enjoyed that aspect very much.
Nice lyrics Bill, and great performance Al!
steady-eddie.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Really well orchestrated story with the structure beautifully and masterfully carrying the story to it's tearful conclusion. I'm really impressed with how you laid this one out lyrically with the choruses changing so gradually to support the progression of the story and the relationship. I also REALLY love the pause you insert at the end of each chorus leading into the title line. That's an awesome touch that adds an extra measure of distinction to the vocal. You're the man, Bill, and this song once again demonstrates it very well. I loved it. Thanks so much, Bobby. Anything with production, like the pauses, was all Al, tho. Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Thanks a bunch, Calvin Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Hi Bill, I haven't listened to the whole song yet. I'm commenting as I go. I love the 1st verse, music, lyric, vocal. If this were my song I would end v1 on "how to make you smile" and soar into the chorus. Same thing with v2. (chorus) When the music ended I felt awkward and unsure As I held on to you Cause I knew I wanted more I believe this will sound better without "cause". It sounds just a tad rushed.
We didn't know too much of love but we pretended When the music ended. (chorus) When the music ended It was just us on the floor And I held on to you I couldn't ask for any more. This line sounds a bit rushed, maybe delete any?
I stared into your eyes, time was suspended When the music ended. This is a beautiful song!! Wow, I'm truly glad I listened. Dottie Thanks, Dottie. Appreciate the suggestions Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Hey Bill,
You know this does have a classic country feel yet with a bit more sophistication with the arrangements. I enjoyed that aspect very much.
Nice lyrics Bill, and great performance Al!
steady-eddie.
Thanks, Eddie. Al's da man
Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
|
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
You'all take me back--Put me on that dance floor--Rhapsody In Blue!
THAT WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL!
Had to play it several times--Good luck!
Mackie
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Thanks, Mackie. appreciate it
Bill
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Bill,
Beautiful -- I was sad when the music ended.
Lisa
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,753
Posts1,161,296
Members21,470
| |
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|
