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Trail of a Black Bear By Jacqueline Richter with contributor RobK All Rights Reserved 2014 Felt alive again the moment, he'd finally found the track Was on the trail of a black bear, had been itching to go back Fifty-four steps from the rock He was as good as there Had to find the pine tree With claw marks of the bear The river spirits sang Go home brother The blue mountain is growing cold Go home brother Your soul is worth more than gold The mountain wept in the shadows deep underground Was where he hid the loot to stay safe and sound His shameful lies and thievery, Was the talk of the town When the Marshall came a callin' Calmly chugged his whiskey down the river spirits sang Go home brother The blue mountain is growing cold Go home brother Your soul is worth more than gold Saw a pair of dark hungry eyes Realized that he was cursed that bear had grown twice his size Pulled his knife, said, "Do your worst!" Thought he was a lucky sinner But made a mistake that day Ended up a black bear's dinner A wicked man ended in a wicked way Dare get close enough to smell whiskey on his breath, run like hell, you may escape death. He guards the riches, that's where my bones still lay. Take it from an outlaw, keep away. And the river spirits sang Farewell brother The blue mountain is growing cold Farewell brother Sold your soul for gold Farewell brother, farewell brother Should have done as you were told http://www.reverbnation.com/jacquelinerichter/song/17044489-dandelion-wishes-and-butterfly
Last edited by Jackie444; 03/14/14 06:36 AM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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Perfect example of the old line about "what goes around comes around", although it is quite a gruesome way for it to happen. On the "twice size" line you omitted his. Peace.
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Thanks Brian for catching that : )
What genre of country music do you think this song would be? I was thinking bluegrass or gritty and nasty? -Jackie
Last edited by Jackie444; 01/26/14 08:30 PM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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Post deleted by Jackie444
Last edited by Jackie444; 01/29/14 01:55 AM.
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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I keep making small changes....
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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I would say this would fit the folk genre more. Kind of a "Long Black Veil" type of setting.
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Hi Brian, I think so too. Are there any folk music collaborators on JPF? Thanks, Jackie
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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Added a twist.... Still not sure about the genre
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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Pass the black pine tree near the river Then the "carving" of the bear.
"I think you mean "claw marks." Yes-no?
Or was it the work of some artisan who needs to learn about marketing? ;-)
As the Marshall drew his gun He chugged his whiskey down
Not quite sure what this means.
Did he shoot the Marshall or did he just calmly keep drinking and hoodwink the Marshall.
If so, how about:
Shameful lies and thievery, He tricked a poor mining town As the Marshall came a callin' Calmly chugged his whiskey down
-------------- Saw a pair of dark hungry eyes Knew right then that he was cursed that bear had grown twice his size Pulled his knife, said, "Do your worst!"
Just a thought. This was the only near-rhyme in the whole thing.
Felt alive again the moment, he'd finally found the tracks
(the word "track" means the same thing and rhymes better).
Was on the trail of a black bear, had been itching to go back
Just some thoughts!
robk
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Hi RobK, Thank you for the great suggestions!! May keep a few : ) I usually get to this point then I get stuck. Thanks, Jackie
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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I don't know who right now is doing the type of songs groups such as the Kingston Trio did in their day, but I think this would be the category the piece would best fit into.
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Jacqueline, Hi this was written very beautifully. Keep up the good work. An open door of opportunity awaits all of us songwriters. Believe in yourself, Dennis Wright
Dennis Wright
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Humm, This reminds me of a couple of bear songs Both posted on youtube. THE PREACHER and the BEAR Mac Wiseman and
OLD SLEW FOOT by Johnny Horton.
Ray E. Strode
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I was thinking of changing the story to where he was dreaming to go back to get the money... Dreaming he died etc.
What is your opinions about this??
Thanks, Jackie
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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Thanks Ray, Brian, and Dennis for your encouragement and feedback.
-Jackie
Jacqueline Richter Mommy, wife, and songwriter
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No! NO! NO! I think it would reduce the impact of the song. This man is a swindler and smug besides. The way the song is written, it tells hard-working people everywhere that although being honest might not make you rich, really dishonest people sometimes pay for their dishonesty. And what makes it so cool is that it's not, "He eventually got caught and went to jail." No! He got et! It's great the way you set it up. He had it made, except for one small (or maybe not so small, eh?) detail.
Besides Bears gotta eat too!
rob k
Reminds me of a cartoon I saw years ago. A bear is standing there with a parachute sticking out of its mouth. He's also holding a briefcase with the name DB Cooper on it.
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How about this?
Don't Poke the Bear
I wanted a great picture of this grizzly bear I found But he was eating berries and he would not turn around. So I got me a big long stick and gave that bear a poke. That's how I learned the hard way that this saying ain't no joke.
Don't poke the bear. Don't poke the bear. Just back away, get out of there. Cause if you poke 'im you might not have a prayer. Don't poke the bear. Don't poke the bear.
I had me this here bro-t'rin-law who liked to be in charge. He tried to boss us all around, 'bout as subtile as a barge. Well me, I had enough of that, Was gonna tell him so. But my wife said "Just think man is that where you want to go." (Chorus)
The judge told me, "Not one more word or you'll be in the klink." I say it'd take much more 'n one to tell him what I think. "Contempt!" He growled "Now off to jail, ten days, to be precise. That ought to give you time enough to think on this advice."(Chorus)
Discretion is the better part of valor so they say. Unfortunately, I still tend to lean the other way. I still have this propensity for leading with my chin. But who knows! Maybe, some fine day, that old saw will sink in. (Chorus)
©JJANA2013
JJANA is my music "company." It's made up of my kids initials.
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