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#1036599 - 01/19/14 05:02 PM Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress)  
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Fred Choate Offline
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Fred Choate  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Billings, Montana
Here is a lyric I started this morning. I like the first verse and chorus, but think I need something slightly different in the second verse that will marry it to the chorus a little better, and then I will likely put together a bridge, but haven't gotten that far just yet.

Some Things Even Daddy’s Can’t Fix
Fred Choate 2014

VERSE 1:
A two wheeler’s kickstand
Balsa wood plane with a rubberband
Those types of things are easy for me
A little glue, the turn of a wrench
Will bring back a smile that’s a sure bet
But its so much harder for things that I can’t see

CHORUS:
Like that broken heart down deep inside
The sadness found in those dark brown eyes
These things…they aren’t made of wood or brick
Like the honest truth when it’s realized
That mommy’s gone and the reasons why
There are just some things even Daddy’s can’t fix

VERSE 2:
I can tell him “Son, its OK”
Other than that I’m not sure what to say
It was always his mom wiping away his tears
I always thought that she’d pull through
But the doctors said that was all they could do
And I’m not sure I can take away his fears

CHORUS:
Like that broken heart down deep inside
The sadness found in those dark brown eyes
These things…they aren’t made of wood or brick
Like the honest truth when it’s realized
That mommy’s gone and the reasons why
There are just some things even Daddy’s can’t fix

BRIDGE:
??

CHORUS:
Like that broken heart down deep inside
The sadness found in those dark brown eyes
These things…they aren’t made of wood or brick
Like the honest truth when it’s realized
That mommy’s gone and the reasons why
There are just some things even Daddy’s can’t fix

Last edited by Fred Choate; 01/19/14 05:20 PM.

Fred Choate
Billings, Montana

http://www.reverbnation.com/fredchoatemusic

#1036614 - 01/19/14 06:30 PM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: Fred Choate]  
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,226
Douglas Murphy Offline
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Douglas Murphy  Offline
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Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi Fred. Do not believe we have met. Welcome to the Board. Had me a look at your lyric, tried creating a melody to it and played around with the verses and the chorus. By no means am I taking away from what you have started it was just the direction I took when considering where I saw it going. Suggestion in CAPs and as we say here at JPF, "KOS."

Douglas

(V)
A two wheelers kickstand.
Balsa wood plane with a rubber band.
Those types of things are easy for me.
NOT LIKE THOSE THAT I CAN'T SEE
A little DAB OF glue, TWIST of a wrench
Will GUARANTEE a smile FROM THE PLAYERS BENCH
But THE SADNESS IN HIS EYES? OH! HOW I WISH!
BUT there are things EVEN DADDY CAN'T FIX.

CHORUS:
Like that ACHING heart down deep inside
The sadness HE TRIES SO HARD TO HIDE.
The honest truth when realized
LIFE PLAYS SOME AWFUL TRICKS.

IF these things WERE WITHIN MY HANDS.
I'D HAVE THE POWER TO UNDERSTAND.
TO EXPLAIN TO HIM. OH! HOW I WISH!
BUT THERE are things even Daddy’s can’t fix.

(V)
I TELL EM “Son, its OK”
WHEN HE ASKS WHAT CAN I SAY?
INSIDE I CRY SHE SHOULD BE HERE.
SHE COULD ALWAYS GET A SMILE THROUGH tears.
ONE DAY HE'LL KNOW BUT 'TILL IT COMES.
OUR SONG WILL HAVE A DIFFERENT DRUM.
FOR NOW IT'S HUGS AND A KISS.
'CAUSE there are things EVEN DADDY CAN'T FIX.


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
#1036617 - 01/19/14 06:46 PM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: Douglas Murphy]  
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Fred Choate Offline
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Fred Choate  Offline
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Posts: 251
Billings, Montana
Thank you for the look and the suggestions there Doug. I am going to play through them and see where it takes me....I liked some of the suggestions that created a better imagery of what I was thinking.



Fred Choate
Billings, Montana

http://www.reverbnation.com/fredchoatemusic

#1036619 - 01/19/14 07:13 PM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: Fred Choate]  
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,226
Douglas Murphy Offline
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Douglas Murphy  Offline
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Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Let me know what you come up with Fred. I will check back later in the week.

douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
#1036621 - 01/19/14 07:15 PM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: Fred Choate]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,137
Vicarn Offline
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Vicarn  Offline
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Posts: 6,137
UK
Hi Fred
How about:

"I can't sing those soft lullabies
or light the house up with those smiles"
to start V 2?
Use or lose,
Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1036645 - 01/19/14 11:11 PM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Posts: 4,092
Eugene, Or USA
Hi Fred,

A few ideas keep or toss! Geneva


Daddy's always been there
Nothin' was beyond repair
His paper plane bent handlebars came out alright
But all my rubberbands glue and pliers
Can't mend a heart when it falls apart
How does a daddy say he can't fix things this time

I can't say son thing'll be OK
When they'll never be the same
It's always been what I couldn't fix I'd replace
I can't bring back your mama's warmth
Her smile her kiss those lovin' arms
The doctors and I tried it all yet she faded away

br
I didn't have the power within my hands
Don't have the words to make him understand
There's a few things a daddy can't fix up right
But he can help bring her sweet memories to life




#1036647 - 01/19/14 11:33 PM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Fred Choate Offline
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Fred Choate  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Billings, Montana
Lots of good thoughts here smile Thanks for the looks and comments. I will have to sit down and look thru everything and see where it goes....I think a good tune will come out of it.


Fred Choate
Billings, Montana

http://www.reverbnation.com/fredchoatemusic

#1036770 - 01/21/14 08:56 AM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: Fred Choate]  
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,541
Michele Howlett Offline
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Michele Howlett  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,541
Hunter Valley NSW Australia
Hi Fred

I really like what I'm reading, smile and it's great that others have given you some suggestions. I'm looking forward to seeing how this ends up as a final.

Believe me, I find it hard enough to write a good one, crazy let alone critic one,lol, laugh goodluck. Sorry I'm not much help.

Hugs Michele

Last edited by Michele Howlett; 01/21/14 08:57 AM.
#1036979 - 01/23/14 11:00 AM Re: Somethings Even Daddy Can't Fix (work in progress) [Re: Michele Howlett]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,592
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,592
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
I like the story Fred and I like Doug's take on it too.The ideas seem to be stacking up too.Best of luck with the rewrite.I'm having a bad case of writers block at the minute so I can't suggest much!
Travis

Last edited by Travis david; 01/23/14 11:01 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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