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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
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OP
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Here is a lyric I started this morning. I like the first verse and chorus, but think I need something slightly different in the second verse that will marry it to the chorus a little better, and then I will likely put together a bridge, but haven't gotten that far just yet.
Some Things Even Daddy’s Can’t Fix Fred Choate 2014
VERSE 1: A two wheeler’s kickstand Balsa wood plane with a rubberband Those types of things are easy for me A little glue, the turn of a wrench Will bring back a smile that’s a sure bet But its so much harder for things that I can’t see
CHORUS: Like that broken heart down deep inside The sadness found in those dark brown eyes These things…they aren’t made of wood or brick Like the honest truth when it’s realized That mommy’s gone and the reasons why There are just some things even Daddy’s can’t fix
VERSE 2: I can tell him “Son, its OK” Other than that I’m not sure what to say It was always his mom wiping away his tears I always thought that she’d pull through But the doctors said that was all they could do And I’m not sure I can take away his fears
CHORUS: Like that broken heart down deep inside The sadness found in those dark brown eyes These things…they aren’t made of wood or brick Like the honest truth when it’s realized That mommy’s gone and the reasons why There are just some things even Daddy’s can’t fix
BRIDGE: ??
CHORUS: Like that broken heart down deep inside The sadness found in those dark brown eyes These things…they aren’t made of wood or brick Like the honest truth when it’s realized That mommy’s gone and the reasons why There are just some things even Daddy’s can’t fix
Last edited by Fred Choate; 01/19/14 05:20 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Hi Fred. Do not believe we have met. Welcome to the Board. Had me a look at your lyric, tried creating a melody to it and played around with the verses and the chorus. By no means am I taking away from what you have started it was just the direction I took when considering where I saw it going. Suggestion in CAPs and as we say here at JPF, "KOS."
Douglas
(V) A two wheelers kickstand. Balsa wood plane with a rubber band. Those types of things are easy for me. NOT LIKE THOSE THAT I CAN'T SEE A little DAB OF glue, TWIST of a wrench Will GUARANTEE a smile FROM THE PLAYERS BENCH But THE SADNESS IN HIS EYES? OH! HOW I WISH! BUT there are things EVEN DADDY CAN'T FIX.
CHORUS: Like that ACHING heart down deep inside The sadness HE TRIES SO HARD TO HIDE. The honest truth when realized LIFE PLAYS SOME AWFUL TRICKS.
IF these things WERE WITHIN MY HANDS. I'D HAVE THE POWER TO UNDERSTAND. TO EXPLAIN TO HIM. OH! HOW I WISH! BUT THERE are things even Daddy’s can’t fix.
(V) I TELL EM “Son, its OK” WHEN HE ASKS WHAT CAN I SAY? INSIDE I CRY SHE SHOULD BE HERE. SHE COULD ALWAYS GET A SMILE THROUGH tears. ONE DAY HE'LL KNOW BUT 'TILL IT COMES. OUR SONG WILL HAVE A DIFFERENT DRUM. FOR NOW IT'S HUGS AND A KISS. 'CAUSE there are things EVEN DADDY CAN'T FIX.
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Joined: Dec 2012
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Thank you for the look and the suggestions there Doug. I am going to play through them and see where it takes me....I liked some of the suggestions that created a better imagery of what I was thinking.
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Let me know what you come up with Fred. I will check back later in the week.
douglas
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Hi Fred How about:
"I can't sing those soft lullabies or light the house up with those smiles" to start V 2? Use or lose, Vic
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Hi Fred,
A few ideas keep or toss! Geneva
Daddy's always been there Nothin' was beyond repair His paper plane bent handlebars came out alright But all my rubberbands glue and pliers Can't mend a heart when it falls apart How does a daddy say he can't fix things this time
I can't say son thing'll be OK When they'll never be the same It's always been what I couldn't fix I'd replace I can't bring back your mama's warmth Her smile her kiss those lovin' arms The doctors and I tried it all yet she faded away
br I didn't have the power within my hands Don't have the words to make him understand There's a few things a daddy can't fix up right But he can help bring her sweet memories to life
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Joined: Dec 2012
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Lots of good thoughts here Thanks for the looks and comments. I will have to sit down and look thru everything and see where it goes....I think a good tune will come out of it.
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Hi Fred I really like what I'm reading, and it's great that others have given you some suggestions. I'm looking forward to seeing how this ends up as a final. Believe me, I find it hard enough to write a good one, let alone critic one,lol, goodluck. Sorry I'm not much help. Hugs Michele
Last edited by Michele Howlett; 01/21/14 08:57 AM.
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I like the story Fred and I like Doug's take on it too.The ideas seem to be stacking up too.Best of luck with the rewrite.I'm having a bad case of writers block at the minute so I can't suggest much! Travis
Last edited by Travis david; 01/23/14 11:01 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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