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Joined: Feb 2013
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Hey all, This is my third collaberation with B.K. I just love his lyrics. All feedback is greatly appreciated, as is your time spent listening and commenting. Accidental HellMusic By David S. Becker Lyrics By B.K. Williamson All vocals & guitar by David S. Becker (c) 2013 Becker/Williamson Music All RIghts Reserved http://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/accidental-hell-mando-in-3dVERSE 1He stood in the living room A child of only 5 So innocent and mild Unaware of the world outside His sisters on the floor She's playing with her toys A tiny spark of joy She looked at him and smiled PRE-CHORUSAnd in the corner of the room It stood un-noticed there Like a prop in some nightmare CHORUSHow do we save Ourselves from this day Is there nothing we can do To take back the pain And how do we raise Ourselves from this hell When there's nothing left to lose We just linger where we fell In our accidental hell VERSE 2It was over in a flash His childhood disappeared But the sorrow an' the tears Will never go away His birthday present there Still smoking in his hand Their parents didn't understand And they couldn't face the blame REPEAT PRE-CHORUSREPEAT CHORUSBRIDGETheir tiny spark was gone Her smile burned in his mind So gentle and so kind Too young to comprehend But the years would take their toll And regret would overwhelm him In his accidental hell VERSE 3In this universe so vast Where lost among the stars And yet we've come so far With passion in our hearts We live and hope to learn We fall from time to time But as we grow we'll find Our love sets us apart REPEAT CHORUS
Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/14/13 12:49 PM.
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Hey, Dave. I think you did a great job with this musically. Real good lyric. I'm just not sure I'm buying that a 5 year old would get a real gun as a gift. I guess it could be possible, but I'd probably either make him older or make it dad's gun.
Bill
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Hey Bill,
Thx much for the listen. This lyric is actually based upon a true story. It was the parent's gun. I don't believe the birthday present line was meant to convey that he received a gun for his birthday. I believe this happened on the child's birthday and the parents gun was retrieved by the five year old from the corner of the room, as a 5 year old is curious. I could be wrong, but the "smoking gun" line I always thought was not meant to be taken literally as though the gun was his birthday present, but more symbolically as this event happened on his birthday and he will therefore always remember his birthday as the day he shot his sister. Bryan will have to chime in, as I could be wrong as to what he intended with the lyric. I am certain, however, that the gun was not really a birthday present for the five year old.
In any event, thx again for listening and your comments.
Dave
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V2- His birthday present there Still smoking in his hand
That's what gave me the impression I got.
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Joined: Jan 2013
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Hi Bill,
That line was actually meant to convey the incident happened on the child's birthday. Unfortunately it was disclosed later that the parents had purchased a "child sized" .22 rifle for their son. I have seen them in many gun stores and it always made me cringe.
I don't know... maybe that line is a bit too strong, but when I was writing, it just seemed to fit.
Thanks for your response, Bryan
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Wow ... that teaches me to never be "sure" of anything!
Thx for the clarification Bryan.
Dave
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Hey Calvin,
Thx much for the listen. We appreciate it.
Dave
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Joined: Jul 2013
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Dave/Bryan,
A disturbing story. The last verse seemed "out of step" with the other verses - the first two telling the story -the last one being "poetic" - which the chorus already does sufficiently.
A lot of good imagery. Good melody. And a nicely recorded guitar and vocal.
floyd
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Thanks Floyd,
The last verse was to show that there is hope in the darkness. When I thought about the 5 year old I had a real hard time seeing any of that in his future, so I wanted to give him a little in the song.
Your response is very much appreciated.
Best, Bryan
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Hey Floyd,
Thx for the listen and comments. They are much appreciated.
Dave
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Very nicely done....good to see you both at it - Bobby
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Thx Bobby,
Hope your travels are going well. Bring some cool weather to Florida if you can. Thx for listening. Looking forward to our next one.
Dave
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Enjoyed it guys good song well performed All the best with it Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jan 2005
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yeah,this is a dark story but i like it cause it's different.I bought my son one of those little 22's when he was around 6 or 7,it's called 'Lil Champ made by Iver Stevens.We still have it.Anyway,a good song!Mike
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Joined: Apr 2006
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I'm only hearing it musically. I like the guitar work on the hook, but I would use more mandolin in the third verse. Single mandolin notes are fine, but you need to pick all eight strings too.
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Hey Travis,
Thx for the listen. It is much appreciated. Thx, as well Mike. Appreciate the time spent listening and commenting.
Ben, thx as well. I am just starting with the mandolin, so I am not as proficient on it, as the guitar (not that I am all that proficient on the 6 string either). I realized when I recorded the track it was as basic as you can get. I wanted something subtle during that part, but I would love to have done something like you suggest. I am not sure I can though.
Dave
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Dave, you have a way with gun songs! Great job guys, now I need to get to bass Pro and buy a few more trigger locks...
73's & 88's Good Buddy! Chris Bohlman
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DAVE AND BK--
YOU TWO COME UP WITH SOME GREAT CO-WRITES--I LIKE THIS ONE A LOT!
Keep up the good work!
Mackie
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Hey Chris and Mackie,
Appreciate the listens and comments. Thanks for giving this a listen.
Dave
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Thanks everyone for your kind comments and suggestions!!
Hey Bobby... Looking forward to hopefully working with you again. Be safe out there!
Bryan
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