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#1019281 - 08/12/13 12:10 PM Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson)  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,441
GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey all,

This is my third collaberation with B.K. I just love his lyrics. All feedback is greatly appreciated, as is your time spent listening and commenting.

Accidental Hell
Music By David S. Becker
Lyrics By B.K. Williamson
All vocals & guitar by David S. Becker
(c) 2013 Becker/Williamson Music
All RIghts Reserved

http://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/accidental-hell-mando-in-3d

VERSE 1
He stood in the living room
A child of only 5
So innocent and mild
Unaware of the world outside
His sisters on the floor
She's playing with her toys
A tiny spark of joy
She looked at him and smiled

PRE-CHORUS
And in the corner of the room
It stood un-noticed there
Like a prop in some nightmare

CHORUS
How do we save
Ourselves from this day
Is there nothing we can do
To take back the pain
And how do we raise
Ourselves from this hell
When there's nothing left to lose
We just linger where we fell
In our accidental hell

VERSE 2
It was over in a flash
His childhood disappeared
But the sorrow an' the tears
Will never go away
His birthday present there
Still smoking in his hand
Their parents didn't understand
And they couldn't face the blame

REPEAT PRE-CHORUS
REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
Their tiny spark was gone
Her smile burned in his mind
So gentle and so kind
Too young to comprehend
But the years would take their toll
And regret would overwhelm him
In his accidental hell

VERSE 3
In this universe so vast
Where lost among the stars
And yet we've come so far
With passion in our hearts
We live and hope to learn
We fall from time to time
But as we grow we'll find
Our love sets us apart

REPEAT CHORUS

Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/14/13 11:49 AM.
#1019282 - 08/12/13 12:55 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Sep 2003
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Bill Osofsky Offline
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Bill Osofsky  Offline
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Utah
Hey, Dave. I think you did a great job with this musically. Real good lyric. I'm just not sure I'm buying that a 5 year old would get a real gun as a gift. I guess it could be possible, but I'd probably either make him older or make it dad's gun.

Bill


#1019285 - 08/12/13 01:09 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: Bill Osofsky]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey Bill,

Thx much for the listen. This lyric is actually based upon a true story. It was the parent's gun. I don't believe the birthday present line was meant to convey that he received a gun for his birthday. I believe this happened on the child's birthday and the parents gun was retrieved by the five year old from the corner of the room, as a 5 year old is curious. I could be wrong, but the "smoking gun" line I always thought was not meant to be taken literally as though the gun was his birthday present, but more symbolically as this event happened on his birthday and he will therefore always remember his birthday as the day he shot his sister. Bryan will have to chime in, as I could be wrong as to what he intended with the lyric. I am certain, however, that the gun was not really a birthday present for the five year old.

In any event, thx again for listening and your comments.

Dave

#1019286 - 08/12/13 01:11 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Sep 2003
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Bill Osofsky Offline
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Bill Osofsky  Offline
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Utah
V2- His birthday present there
Still smoking in his hand

That's what gave me the impression I got.


#1019288 - 08/12/13 01:37 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: Bill Osofsky]  
Joined: Jan 2013
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B K Williamson Offline
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B K Williamson  Offline
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Louisville, KY
Hi Bill,

That line was actually meant to convey the incident happened on the child's birthday. Unfortunately it was disclosed later that the parents had purchased a "child sized" .22 rifle for their son. I have seen them in many gun stores and it always made me cringe.

I don't know... maybe that line is a bit too strong, but when I was writing, it just seemed to fit.

Thanks for your response,
Bryan


#1019290 - 08/12/13 01:49 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: B K Williamson]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Wow ... that teaches me to never be "sure" of anything!

Thx for the clarification Bryan.

Dave

#1019299 - 08/12/13 03:34 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
I thought I would post a link I just found regarding this story, since, as Bill said, it is hard to believe. I agree. Shocking!

http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/01/us/kentucky-accidential-shooting

Dave

#1019327 - 08/12/13 08:32 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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#1019352 - 08/13/13 01:16 AM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: Calvin]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey Calvin,

Thx much for the listen. We appreciate it.

Dave

#1019396 - 08/13/13 05:32 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jul 2013
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floyd jane Offline
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floyd jane  Offline
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Tampa
Dave/Bryan,

A disturbing story. The last verse seemed "out of step" with the other verses - the first two telling the story -the last one being "poetic" - which the chorus already does sufficiently.

A lot of good imagery. Good melody. And a nicely recorded guitar and vocal.

floyd

#1019397 - 08/13/13 05:35 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: floyd jane]  
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B K Williamson Offline
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B K Williamson  Offline
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Louisville, KY
Thanks Floyd,

The last verse was to show that there is hope in the darkness. When I thought about the 5 year old I had a real hard time seeing any of that in his future, so I wanted to give him a little in the song.

Your response is very much appreciated.

Best,
Bryan

#1019426 - 08/13/13 10:50 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: B K Williamson]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey Floyd,

Thx for the listen and comments. They are much appreciated.

Dave

#1019432 - 08/14/13 12:12 AM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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bobbyearlray Offline
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bobbyearlray  Offline
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Nashville, Tn.
Very nicely done....good to see you both at it - Bobby

#1019439 - 08/14/13 01:56 AM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: bobbyearlray]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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Florida
Thx Bobby,

Hope your travels are going well. Bring some cool weather to Florida if you can. Thx for listening. Looking forward to our next one.

Dave

#1019452 - 08/14/13 06:30 AM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jun 2011
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Travis david Online content
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Travis david  Online Content
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Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Enjoyed it guys good song well performed
All the best with it
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1019489 - 08/14/13 02:14 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jan 2005
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Michael LeBlanc Offline
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Michael LeBlanc  Offline
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Louisiana
yeah,this is a dark story but i like it cause it's different.I bought my son one of those little 22's when he was around 6 or 7,it's called 'Lil Champ made by Iver Stevens.We still have it.Anyway,a good song!Mike

#1019559 - 08/14/13 10:43 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,106
ben willis Offline
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ben willis  Offline
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Ft. Myers, FL. USA
I'm only hearing it musically. I like the guitar work on the hook, but I would use more mandolin in the third verse. Single mandolin notes are fine, but you need to pick all eight strings too.

#1019561 - 08/14/13 10:55 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: ben willis]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey Travis,

Thx for the listen. It is much appreciated. Thx, as well Mike. Appreciate the time spent listening and commenting.

Ben, thx as well. I am just starting with the mandolin, so I am not as proficient on it, as the guitar (not that I am all that proficient on the 6 string either). I realized when I recorded the track it was as basic as you can get. I wanted something subtle during that part, but I would love to have done something like you suggest. I am not sure I can though.

Dave

#1019579 - 08/15/13 12:22 AM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
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Chris B. Offline
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Annapolis, MD
Dave, you have a way with gun songs! Great job guys, now I need to get to bass Pro and buy a few more trigger locks...


73's & 88's Good Buddy!
Chris Bohlman
#1019583 - 08/15/13 12:38 AM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: Chris B.]  
Joined: Sep 2009
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Mackie H. Offline
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NASHVILLE, TN
DAVE AND BK--

YOU TWO COME UP WITH SOME GREAT CO-WRITES--I LIKE THIS ONE A LOT!

Keep up the good work!

Mackie


#1019622 - 08/15/13 09:13 AM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: Mackie H.]  
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GocartMoz Offline
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GocartMoz  Offline
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Florida
Hey Chris and Mackie,

Appreciate the listens and comments. Thanks for giving this a listen.

Dave

#1019654 - 08/15/13 12:07 PM Re: Accidental Hell (Collaberation with B.K. Williamson) [Re: GocartMoz]  
Joined: Jan 2013
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B K Williamson Offline
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B K Williamson  Offline
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Louisville, KY
Thanks everyone for your kind comments and suggestions!!

Hey Bobby... Looking forward to hopefully working with you again. Be safe out there!

Bryan


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