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Hi All- This is a 3 way collaboration between BK Williamson, Gocartmoz-Dave Becker, and Bobby Earl Ray. Written about the deaths at Sandy Hook, we wanted to try something different and put a youthful spin on things. Recorde at The Hazmat Music Studios- All instruments-Bobby Earl Ray Vocals- Danny Archer of Nashville, Tn. This was a great effort and fun was had by all. Hope you enjoy! https://soundcloud.com/bobby-earl-ray-1/into-the-black INTO THE BLACK VERSE 1 I can see the lights a flashin' Through the smoke and all the mire My hands are still shakin' And my blood is on fire Their eyes are still open And their staring into black Fear frozen on their faces As they lay their on their backs VERSE 2 I don't remember the killing Or the voices in my head I don't remember this morning Or what my mother said Well Sleep is just a memory My bones show through my skin Can't stop the screams within me Or take back all of my sin CHORUS There is something broken Something's out of place If the words are never spoken The problem's never faced Our children are not killers They can't be born that way We're all teachers so start teaching This is not a video game VERSE 3 What happened to Jeremy He's empty and so cold Just the sight of him scares me It's like he hasn't got a soul He's lacking a connection Something basic and so pure Just a broken down reflection Doctors ponder at a cure REPEAT CHORUS BRIDGE Into THE black The human race is falling Into the black We don't have to heed the calling Into the black There are no boundaries INTO THE BLACK We’re all in…….. VERSE 4 Between God and the devil Beneath the sun up in the sky Through the entire population Between the truth and a lie Such a fragile pale existence Such a passionate cry We fade out in an instant And no one tells us why THIS IS NOT A GAME
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I was somewhat excited when I saw your three names on the marquis together. I wasn't disappointed after I started listening either. Excellent and hard hitting lyric and musically very dynamic with such clear departures between the verses and chorus. Same for the bridge. My only nit is that the lyric says "This is not a video game" and it is sung "This is not a game." I think video game relays the truth of the story better. Some kids, especially young ones think life is a video game.
Outstanding effort, gentlemen.
Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Hey ya'll,the music here is a kickass rocker,i like the lyrics but i don't know if i would if i were one of the parents of a child that died there.A little dark and could stir up some bad scenes.But hey,that's just my thoughts.Anyway,i do like the song!Mike
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Hey Stevie- I sent it to Danny, but he sang it like that. Either way I thought his vocals were what we hoped for, and we tried to do something that maybe kids would listen to, and think about. Even though things are sometimes hard to hear, we need to help our kids see the mistakes our society is moving towards. Always value your opinions. Thanks Brother Stevie!!!!!
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Guys, Nice going with this collab! This song has lot's of power behind it and should be appealing to the new rockers out there. I like the arrangement/production/melody/ and performances. Nice job!
A couple things that IMO would enhance the song and help divide it up a bit better: I'd do verse three without harmony as the previous chorus and 2nd verse have been lifted--and I think it would be good to return to "verse one style" with verse three, which would allow the next chorus to "again re-lift" before hitting the bridge. (very nice bridge) Then take the song out with the last verse with harmony--my idea is to give the song a little more "give and take" which will give each area better identity and eliminating too much of the same sound.
I would also experiment with the "drum track" within the bridge--it seems to me not the perfect match there--the kicks seem out of sync a bit for my ears--maybe using cymbals/HH only there would let those harmonies totally dominate the bridge and give a less "heavy" yet dramatic mood at that crucial juncture.
Super write guys! Just some ideas and my feel for what it is worth, "use or lose."
steady-eddie.
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Hey Stevie and Michael,
Thx for listening and commenting. Bryan's lyrics are hard hitting no doubt. When he sent them to me I was taken back after reading them. While they are no doubt dark, they hit me as being so honest and straight forward, without being preachy, so to speak, that I really wanted to be involved in the project. I also knew it needed to be a rocker and something very different than what I was used to, but I didn't have the production skills to do this right so we asked Bobby to get involved. Bobby took a guitar and vocal only work tape I made and refined what I had written, wrote additional music, including what I believe to be an amazing bridge among other parts and really took this to another level. My hats off to both Bryan and Bobby for a piece of work that I was really proud to be a part of.
Dave
Last edited by GocartMoz; 05/19/13 05:18 PM.
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Hard hitting, dramatic, loud and a song which I think will receive a further positive response from those a little younger than I. Good work best of luck with it #travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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You guys are very brave to take on such a strong and raw topic. It could so easily have backfired with the pure hurt and rawness of it but I believe what have produced here will appeal to the youth and be thought provoking. You have put together a good blend of rocky rhythyms and licks and combined it successfully with some hard hitting lyrics.
Job accomplished in my books. Loved the bridge though agree that the drum track needs work in that area.
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YOU GUYS--
IT"S A WINNER--I AGREE WITH STEVIE ABOUT VIDEO GAME--SAD, BUT IT'S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN NOW!
WRITE ON--
Mackie
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Hey guys- I'll go back and listen again, the world of midi has been known to play tricks on me. I believe with a little tweaking this an be radio ready for alt rock and college stations. Let's face it, the world we're leaving behind for our kids is not the one left for us. The world of Beaver Cleaver has de-generated to unsatisfied children, bullying,and its about time we as parents touch on these subjects. Buying grand theft auto for my own son was one of my biggest mistakes as a parent. The attitude towards women and others was terrible. I think BK's lyrics did a great job of painting the picture...
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Hey Steady Eddie- I loved your latest offering. I can tell you're a perfectionist from how well the piece is done. I believe our song will have a life out there, as there are a continual string of similar events happening all the time. We need to get our kids to think the way we had to listening to the songs of the 60's and seventies, back when music delivered a lot of important messages. As always, i do listen to your nits. You have great advice Eddie. I'm glad for our friendship. Thanks Eddie-Bobby
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Hi guys, A very dramatic tune, nicely done, I especially liked the bridge and the way it slammed right into verse 4 Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hey Travis- Thanks for responding. Maybe I finally produced something that my kids would finally listen to. I have tried my best my entire life to produce and play on something that my kids might relate to. I always played my stuff for them, and they usually rolled their eyes. I knew then I had missed the mark. I've seen a lot of younger listeners stop and listen to this one. I believe this could be the real deal.
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Hey Allan- Thanks for responding. You made some excellent points and suggestions. I have made a few more tweaks to the song, and I believe it's finished. Now waiting to hear from some music libraries on placement. Thanks for giving your time and expertise-Bobby
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Hey Mackie- I'll be lookin you up again in a bit for another collaboration.. I hope you enjoyed the song, as it was a radical departure for me. Thanks for stopping by, and your new song was wonderful. The best Man-Bobby
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Hi Guys,
This sounds really great musically (how could you miss, with this talented, all-star cast?!) Sounding great is a given!) -- and the lyric is, of course, extremely powerful.
I have some comments, and thought I'd mention, before I make them, that if this had been posted about some random shooting, I wouldn't even make these comments. It's just that you said it's about Sandy Hook, and so I'm taking it from that perspective. When your song is a hit 30 years from now, and not even associated with Sandy Hook, then none of my comments will even be relevant.....
A concern I have...if this is marketed as a song about Sandy Hook, I think that the graphic description of the children's deaths could be viewed as insensitive, although I know it's not meant that way. On a related note, I don't know whether we know if fear was frozen on their faces. I would bet that some of them looked peaceful and their parents might very well be taking comfort in that fact.
I read an account once of a girl who was kidnapped when she was nine or ten, abused by a man and released a few days later. Thirty years later, she wrote about her experience (I can't recall her name but it was a famous kidnapping at the time). She said that people always ask her, "were you scared?" She said that, when he first took her, she wasn't scared because she had absolutely no idea what was about to happen to her. She says at that age, she wasn't even able to comprehend that something so bad could happen. I've always hoped that maybe some of the children didn't feel as terrified because of that innocence they have. I'm sure that's wishful thinking on my part.
Also...the song makes it sound as if a child was the shooter, but Adam Lanza wasn't a child. If the song isn't marketed as a Sandy Hook song, this wouldn't matter, and people will just think of it as a child shooter, but I just thought I'd throw that out there!
One other thing...you mentioned that this is oriented toward a young audience. While the music does, indeed, sound oriented toward young people, the message sounds more like a message to parents, or older people. I don't know whether this matters to you, but I thought I'd throw it out there too!
--Lisa
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Hey Lisa- It's not being marketed that way. What we tried to do was take the alarming trend of school shooting, and growing childhood violence, and bring it to life in a package that we hoped would draw attention of the youth out there. It was not meant to chronicle the events of that day, it is being used more as an example. It has been accepted by a couple stations already, and I just let the piece speak for itself. I would never want to, or take part in something that hurt the people that already suffered enough from that tragedy. After seeing blood on the streets in Boston recently, I have made a point of living my life with a heightened sensitivity to the feeling of others. The subject matter of this song is still something that needs to be heard. I wanted to thank you Lisa, these are great suggestions , and I will take them to heart. For all here on the forum, we did not mean to offend, we tackled a tough subject, and put it to a sound relevant to the younger audience. I had to work to change my country playing, to find the right sounds to make this. Once again to Lisa and others, your comments are appreciated, and taken seriously. Thanks-Bobby
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Lisa,
Thanks for listening and your comments. I completely understand your take and appreciate it. When Bryan first sent me the lyrics, I thought the first two verses were horrifying and still do as they are written from the perspective of the shooter. Frankly, I was wondering whether words should be changed to be sung in a 3d person perspective as opposed to first. We talked about having two different voices for the first two verses and the rest of the song, but in the end chose to keep it as is. While I acknowledge the terrifying nature of these lyrics, I think they are very thought provoking.
I completely agree that if this were to be pitched, it should not be pitched as a song about Sandy Hook. Frankly, Bryan would have to respond to tell you what was in his mind, though for me, when I read them, though I figured they were somewhat inspired by what had happened at Sandy Hook, the lyrics were meant more as a general portrait of school violence and that something needs to change, which I see as a message not only for adults, but all ages.
Very thought provoking comments. Much appreciated.
Dave
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Thank you everyone for your response.
It was not my intention to bring further pain to anyone who has been through a horrific ordeal such as Sandy Hook. It was my intention to get a message out there to anyone who has the responsibility of raising a child. We all need to dig deeper into ourselves and do the introspection to see how we can connect more with our children. We need to find out where the problem lies in ourselves because it is not enough to pass more legislation or laws if we don't know what the root cause is in the first place.
I thank everyone for their support and suggestions.
Bryan
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Hey Calvin- Thanks for stopping and listening. We appreciate your kindness and objectivity.....
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I think the start of the song is too predictable, like everyone's just waiting for some vocals to come in and rescue the song. There's some lovely guitaring happening at the end, why not put it right at the start and grab everyone's attention, now the vocals have a real challenge to rise up to the occasion... then use the guitar solo at the end to close off the song.
Raggy
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Can you elaborate on predictable?
Bryan
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perhaps the word should have been "standard", like there's an intro for every song but it's not outstanding. Guitar chords, then you know there's going to be a drum beat, once the chord changes start with a laid-back guitar line you're already waiting for the inevitable pause for the vocals to come in. There are no surprises. No offence meant, friend, I was just trying to point out that if gave it a killer start you'd have grabbed everyone's attention even before the vocals came in, at which point the lyrics' message would have the attention they deserve. Just a suggestion, I didn't mean it to sound offensive. Apologies.
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Couldn't disagree more Raggy....Sorry.Thanks for your critique. I like it because both parts are only there once and disappear. To my ears , it works.......
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no problem , it was just an opinion. I tend to just blurt out.
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No problem...we were glad to hear from you.
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Hey Calvin- Sorry I missed you. Thank you for stopping to listen. You and Lisa are rivaling MFB in the volume of fine pieces of work being turned out here. I loved doing this song , it was such a departure for me in style and production. Even though it wasn't to many people's tastes, it has been warmly received by a bunch of college radio stations up here. I'm taking my studio down shortly, and getting ready for my move closer to Nashville. Thanks for your friendship-Bobby
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Looks fairly well written and the music is engaging. But the topic is one that I am not that interested in reading about or listening to. I cut it off pretty quickly. But, of course, you have have the right to go where the inspiration takes you.
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Hey Kevin- Just like you, there have been several subjects, and writing styles on here I haven't cared for. I always listen to another's works all the way through, because for me, I never know where the next influence or idea will come from. As a writer, I try to leave positive remarks for the works of others. I was responsible for playing the music for this song. I played the parts, and played them all the way through, I don't believe in overdubs. If I can't play it correctly, it doesn't deserve to reach other's ears. The words BK wrote may be something people choose not to hear, but the fact is, these events are becoming more and more prevalent in our society. Shutting our doors to them won't make them go away. Anyway, thank you for sharing your viewpoint-Bobby
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See how different we are -- I overdub all the time (ha, ha).
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Hey Kevin,
I guess many people are close minded no matter where you go. Funny how well the song is being received everywhere else.
Bryan
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Hey Steady-Eddie,
Thanks very much for the suggestions. After listening to the drums a little more closely I can see what you mean. Of course I know nothing really about production and will let Bobby handle that.
I appreciate your comments and sugs very much.
Bryan
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Lisa,
Thanks for your comments. As for the shooter not being a child, I would have to disagree with you on that. I believe he was a child in his mind. He was in his twenties but still living at home with his mother who acknowledged he had severe mental issues and antisocial behavior. In his photos he looked even younger. I don't believe he could have functioned out in the world on his own. Just my opinion of course.
Thanks, Bryan
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Howdy All- The song is now making it's way onto radio. New co write with Gocartmoz to be unveiled any day know
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Hey this was very power pop punkish which I love at the start then became hard rock!
I liked how verse 3 was different and the bridge was cool.
Lyrically dealing with such an emotionally charged matter, I felt it was clear and thoughtfully written.
Improvement wise I felt the chorus could've differentiated from the chorus a bit more. The part I remember the most is the 'this is not a game' hook at the outro.
Thanks for the listen!
Rich
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Hey guys....great sound...wow, what a production. Kudo's all...and good luck with this! There should be a market for this out there. -Tom
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This has a truthful quality, which I like. Modern arrangement that should connect to kids. Yes, the drum track needs redoing. Good work. Vic
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Hey Rich- Thanks for listening. I'll be re- working this song after I get moved, and will re-post it after it's been gone over thoroughly. I loved Bryan's lyrics, and you know that it has become a sad part of life in America. Thanks for the listen and comments-Bobby
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Hey Rich,
Thanks very much for the kind words and suggestions. It means a lot coming from you because I follow your music as well. I love your vocal work and the power of your music.
Best Days, Bryan
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Hi Tom,
Thanks for your comments. We all appreciate the time you took to give a listen. It wouldn't have been possible without Dave's great original melody and Bobby's fantastic production.
Best Days, Bryan
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Thanks Vic,
Thanks for your comments. I hope to take this a lot further. I got some air play here in KY but it was around 2am and I don't think many people heard it.
Best Days, Bryan
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