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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 262
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 262 |
Howdy folks,
This is another rewrite of a country song I'm working on. I'm picturing this as an up-tempo country song with some sassy attitude storytelling in it. I'm not sure if it's going to be contemporary ALA Carrie, Miranda or traditional ALA Reba. I'm looking for suggestions on the lyrics before I give this to a co-writer to put music to this. Thanks for your help and suggestions.
"Wasting Kisses" Written by (C) 2013 Darin Martin
(V1) When I was six years old Johnny kissed me on the cheek I couldn't stop thinkin' about him all week Momma found out and said 'I'm too young for that' 'Don't be wasting kisses you can't get back'
(Chorus One) I never wanted to feel that kind of pain It was like pulling on a ball and chain I was tired of loosin' my precious time On cheatin' boys who put a strain on my mind If I can't have your heart, then I'm through Wasting kisses on guys like you
V2) Well, ten years later I went to prom with the cutest boy in school I guess he didn't know about the golden rule Saw him stealing a kiss with my best friend Told myself I won't be wasting kisses on him again
(Repeat Chorus One)
(Bridge) Some of these boys never want to grow up And I've just about had enough
(V3) One day I was taking a walk in the park Bumped into a boy who stole my heart He wanted to get married in a little church When we exchanged vows I told him these words
(Chorus Two) I don't want to feel this kind of pain It's like pulling on a ball and chain I won't be loosing my precious time On cheatin' men who put a strain on my mind If I can't have your heart, then I'm through Wasting kisses on guys like you
- Darin
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 610
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 610 |
Darin,
honestly? The chorus out of the first verse lacks credibility. By that I mean there is no way a six year old kid would be pining about cheating boys and wasting kisses and such. If they are, then I'm thinking something is wrong. I mean, the idea of momma saying something about wasting kisses is cool and cute and I get that, but for the said kid to be tore up from the floor up about it is a bit far fetched. Can you rework it, or at least add a bit more to the story before hitting that chorus?
As Meat Loaf sang...a kiss is a terrible thing to waste...
hugs and kisses,
_________________ ~ terrill “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” ― Bob Marley SOUNDCLICK FaceBook
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
I suppose it is possible for someone to be kissed at such a young age, but then it is what was often in the day called "playing house" where kids, say, pretend to be their parents. It so happened that I did have a girlfriend of sorts when I was in the first grade, but we never kissed--we simply walked part of the way home together. I now often say that I may have done better with the ladies then than I did in the adult world for the most part. So, it's up to you whether to revise or leave as is. We all need patience and resolve if we want to get anywhere with these things. Has this one been recorded yet?
Peace, Brian
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