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Joined: Aug 2010
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I got the idea for this little ditty while driving back from a work conference this past week. I saw a little bar off the highway sporting this name and felt that it deserved a song, so I spent the rest of the trip trying to piece it together. As with all my stuff, it's way more words than I need and not nearly enough music but such is the life of a guitar hack like myself. All comments good and bad greatly appreciated. **Based on the awesome feedback of Steady Eddie, I revised the song and shortened the middle a little by eliminating the 3rd Verse. The revision is here: http://soundcloud.com/bobby-wayne/the-periwinkle-cove-revisedThe Periwinkle Cove V1 Well he was there at the bar with just one thing on his mind Had a pocketful of cash and planned on drinking every dime, Wasn't looking for a woman, hadn't liked the ones he found And beer was more available and never let him down. V2 Now she had wandered in when her working day was done Been a long day waiting tables and she owed herself some fun, She knew all about men and how awful they could get She'd kissed a lot of frogs and hadn't met a prince yet. Chorus: They'd spent a whole lot of time and a whole lot of searchin' Always ending up with the wrong sort of person And they'd grown a little cynical but little did they know Love would finally find them at the Periwinkle Cove. Chorus: They'd spent a whole lot of time... V4 Well he fumbled with some questions and he tried to get them right But his confidence was rusty and his throat was kind of tight, But his awkwardness amused her and she leaked a little smile, And she thought it wouldn't kill her just to listen for awhile. Chorus: They'd spent a whole lot of time... Bridge: Now the hand of the clock kept making their rounds While the moon rose up and the crowd died down, And when the bartender cried closing time Their lips finally met and the feeling was so divine..... V5 And that feeling grew stronger as the weeks went by Put a bounce in his step and a sparkle in her eye And on a warm summer night with the sun setting low He asked her for her hand at the Periwinkle Cove. Chorus: They'd spent a whole lot of time....
Last edited by Bobby Wayne; 05/12/13 05:46 PM.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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Top notch song here, Bobby. I love the title. Your vocal sounds really good. I like the syncopation of the lyric and vocal delivery. Not too wordy at long for my taste for the above reason.
Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Bobby, That's another well-written story/song, full of sparkling lyrics and delivered in your unique and accessible voice. The song is cleverly written without falling into the trap of being corny. Kinda like the songs John Prine comes up with. I love to hear you sing. You've got a natural story-telling voice. The kind that sticks in the listener's mind long after the song is over and is easy identifiable as soon as you hear it. Very good work. Keep 'em coming.
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Hey Bobby!
Cool song you have here! As usual, your lyrics are dynamite along with your lyric/music flow. Nice job with the vocals with this toe-tapping melody.
No real nits, but a couple of sugs for comparison:
The rhythm is very strong with the accentuation of the guitar strums--not a bad thing at all. Most acoustic guitar players tend to accentuate this sound with their playing to give the song a bit of a "percussion" substitute which helps the song and helps the singer with his verbal delivery. I mention this because, I like to see a slight change up with the guitar strum accentuation with the chorus for a slight or subtle change-up of sound, but "not" changing the tempo--just for better chorus identity.
I would also experiment with having the "Bridge" come in after vs 4 with a short guitar solo beginning at the end of the bridge's last line. I think breaking this song's strong melody and rhythm a bit earlier would be beneficial to the composition structure. There are different opinions where & when bridges should be placed--I don't follow rules per se, but "feel."
I can feel John Prine influence, but I could hear a more "country Rick Nelson" in your vocal delivery--a cool thing. Another good one Bobby!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Stevie. Thanks, Stevie, from one wordy guy to another. I appreciate the kind words.
Dan. I always appreciate the thoroughness of your critiques and the details they provide. You've been very helpful to me in developing my songs and I only hope that I can in some way return the favor.
Eddie. I appreciate your helpful suggestions. I don't really know much theory or terminology in music so some of that stuff you wrote flew a bit higher over my head than I could reach. We'll have to talk about it more sometime because I am certainly open to your suggestions as I value your opinion a lot. Thanks again for your positive comments.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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hey Bobby,i sure like the way you drive home!Ya got some really good lines in this one [as always]!I don't think a songs lines are never too long when they're this good,i wouldn't clip 'em!Great job!Mike
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Thanks Mike. That means a lot coming from you. I appreciate your continued support.
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Joined: Jan 2003
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Bobby, she'd kissed a lot of frogs, hadn't met a prince yet.... classic lines dude!! I enjoyed this one! :)))) scotty
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
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Hi Bobby, YES------he'd kissed a lot of frogs, hadn't met a prince yet.... classic lines dude and I like how the chorus bounces right along. I real nice piece of work that's VERY pleasant to the ears, even rabbit ears :-) Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Scott: It seems that we often ply the same sort of material and I appreciate you taking the time to listen. Thanks.
Calvin: That's my favorite line of the song as well. Thanks for listening.
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
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Bobby Wayne--
A cool story--keep on writing how you see things--I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO HAVE A WHOLE BAND TO WRITE--If a band wants a song, let them record it!
I think I'm becoming a fan of yours!
Write on--
Mackie
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,262 Likes: 19
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Hey there Bobby.........loved this....catchy tune and some entertaining lyrics!! Good performance, as well!! Good stuff........ -Tom
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Bobby,
your stuff has yet to disappoint, and this one was exceptionally nice. Way to handle a well-worn theme.
By any chance, do you have the address to this Cove? I may take a detour on my home from work.
_________________ ~ terrill “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” ― Bob Marley SOUNDCLICK FaceBook
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Mackie. I really appreciate the comment about not needing a band. Thanks for the kind words.
Cognac: Thanks for the listen and I appreciate the supportive comments.
Terrill: Thanks for the positive words and as for the drive, it would be quite a trip coming from Washington DC since it's located in Washington state. I like your stuff as well.
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Hey Bobby.
Sounds good, they story flows well timing-wise with the music better and without being what I call "story-heavy." Nice job. I'll meet you and Terrill sometime at the Periwinkle Cove some eve for a cold one!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 60
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Joined: May 2013
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Not much to add cept I really enjoyed the way you told the story. Some real good lines in there and you managed to put just the right amount of humour into the song without it becoming throwaway.
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Joined: Feb 2013
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Hey Bobby,
Always enjoy your storytelling talents. Great sing-along song and well told, sung, performed and written. Kudos.
Dave
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