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Create a Song ---That has an Intelligent RAP section

Intelligent RAP section -- IE --- NO actual Cursing --- a focused message

Can be the Whole song or a Section
You can use your own music track --- Or a Cover Bed Track of someone else's

Length is up to you -- Try to have an appeal to the contemporary listener


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Hey! great to see this moved here! I am doing Pat Pattison's coursera class: Songwriting and I saw a couple of hip hoppers there. I posted your challenge link! I might not get to this challenge because of my workload, but I hope a few here do (maybe Big Jim and Dak -- ha, ha).


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
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This should be fun and interesting. smile Does it need to be a finished song or can it be a lyric?

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




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Originally Posted by DonnaMarilyn
This should be fun and interesting. smile Does it need to be a finished song or can it be a lyric?

Donna


it Would be Best to hear it with at least a beat --- but if not that is okay too

jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
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You're right, Joice Marie. smile At least a basic beat. OK, will give it some thought. smile

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




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Here's a little something I threw together but never delivered. I picture the intro with a nice melodic piano and then the beat comes in (similar to Eminem's "Lose Yourself") to start the rap.

<intro>
Through all of our years
and those still to come
Forever, I'll love you
I swear.
I promise I'll never stop
showing you that
I still care.

<begin beat>

<rap>
And I know
yes, I know
what you heart
truly needs
And I'll do
all I can
Give it all
to you, free
And I hope
that you don't
underes-
timate me
or these words
that I write
while I let
my heart bleed
on these pages
I use
to express
all my love
Cause I love you
so much
High as hea-
ven above
and as deep
as the ocean
This notion of Va-
lentine's day
is a potion
or poison
I take
just to feel you
inside me
Surprise you
with gifts
and the sex
that we have
after throwing
a fit
cause we work
out our issues
and bit by a bit
I might bite you
but you'd
bite me back
then you'd spit me
right out
make me clean up
the mess
and I do
cause I love you
I love you
much more
never less


I need to clean OUT
the ear canal to my soul
So I can hear what you mean
not just what you have said
I need to clean UP
the funky breath of my heart
so I can say that I love you
without killing you dead
It's such a crazy life
But we're both
so insane
that it's nor-
mal for us
to be li-
ving this way
I really love you, babe
I mean forever I do
And here's a little gift from me
That I made special for you

Happy V-Day
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy V-Day
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy V-Day
Happy Valentine's Day

And I love you more
than any other word
I can say


Peace,

Dave


"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Originally Posted by Dave Gill
Here's a little something I threw together but never delivered. I picture the intro with a nice melodic piano and then the beat comes in (similar to Eminem's "Lose Yourself") to start the rap.

<intro>
Through all of our years
and those still to come
Forever, I'll love you
I swear.
I promise I'll never stop
showing you that
I still care.

<begin beat>

<rap>
And I know
yes, I know
what you heart
truly needs
And I'll do
all I can
Give it all
to you, free
And I hope
that you don't
underes-
timate me
or these words
that I write
while I let
my heart bleed
on these pages
I use
to express
all my love
Cause I love you
so much
High as hea-
ven above
and as deep
as the ocean
This notion of Va-
lentine's day
is a potion
or poison
I take
just to feel you
inside me
Surprise you
with gifts
and the sex
that we have
after throwing
a fit
cause we work
out our issues
and bit by a bit
I might bite you
but you'd
bite me back
then you'd spit me
right out
make me clean up
the mess
and I do
cause I love you
I love you
much more
never less


I need to clean OUT
the ear canal to my soul
So I can hear what you mean
not just what you have said
I need to clean UP
the funky breath of my heart
so I can say that I love you
without killing you dead
It's such a crazy life
But we're both
so insane
that it's nor-
mal for us
to be li-
ving this way
I really love you, babe
I mean forever I do
And here's a little gift from me
That I made special for you

Happy V-Day
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy V-Day
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy V-Day
Happy Valentine's Day

And I love you more
than any other word
I can say


Peace,

Dave



That's a cool song and I could definitely Rap along with it in my head

jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
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Okay soooooooooooooooooooo here's a quick effort -- using my Co writer's Music....and distortion

I can see How Interesting this could get -- if this were my real genre and interest of direction.......


http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12226448

Hey Get Your Ya Yas ©joice marie 2013 music Bed Track - Richard Boase
hey
Get your ya yas
ouu get your ta tas

ooh
get your boost
who, find a roost

here
we are la las
musos in fa las

in a fan fare
show that we care,
care

here
there's a mass
a muso cast

write,
write all nighters
folks who are fighters

we bring it on
sing it in songs

hey
Get your ya yas
ouu get your ta tas

ooh
get your boost
who, find a roost

Don't let us down
come join the crowd

hey
Get your ya yas
ouu get your ta tas

ooh
get your boost
who, find a roost


repeat…………….


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
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here's a guy who offers suggestion and a Link you can rap to

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...3F7AF55DF&view=detail&FORM=VIRE6


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
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Writing Rap is not as easy as many people think, until they try it! = )


Brian Austin Whitney
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"Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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Hi Big Bro Bri...think I'll Give It a Try...(Since I can't Get Shut-Eye..heh!)

"WOMEN ARE STRANGE" (C) 2013 by Stan Good, BMI {Just Add Music..} ;-)>

WOMEN ARE STRANGE
Most Playin' a Game
T'Get You All-Inflamed
So You will Change-Their-Name

Yeah, WOMEN ARE STRANGE
With their Pastel-Brains
& Little Boutique Chains
So Many ALL-The-SAME...

BUT...You're UNIQUE
No Game of Hide-&-Seek
MORE than a Peck-On-The-Cheek
{WHISPERED}
AND You Got a GREAT Physique

AND What a Perfect-Mind
With..A Great Behind
(When it's Lovin'-Time
You ARE The Lovin'-Kind!)

Tho..MOST WOMEN ARE STRANGE
They Try to Rearrange
All Their Boyfriends' Brains
Won't Leave-'Em As-They-Came

No..They Tear 'Em All-Apart
Broken Minds..& Hearts
Clueless, In-The-Dark
When The Rejection Starts...

But...You're UNIQUE
You Make My Life Complete
Get My Heart Off-The-Street
Hey, It Lands..At-Your-Feet

I Like The Way You Love
WAY-More than Just-Enough
You ARE All-The-Right-Stuff
(& Rarely-Ever Treat Me Rough)...

(TAG)
I'm So CONTENT..When You Treat Me..So TAME...
While I Find...
MOST WOMEN ARE STRANGE...

(All Rights Reserved.)


Last edited by "Tampa Stan" Good; 04/06/13 06:19 AM.
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I can't resist, trying a rap. This is not a popular subject, but it's supposed to be Christian Rap. Here goes, first attempt and it's for fun.

Genocide

Genocide, Genocide
Remember the day?
Hitler murdering
Ovens burning
Millions dying
People crying
It's coming this way

Promises are spoken
That hypnotize
Why can't we see
Through the disguise

Following as sheep
Through each day
Unaware of terror
Coming our way

Stuck with our heads
In material pride
Scales on our eyes
While freedoms slide

Black plastic caskets
Arranged side by side.
Red roses to bury us
In our own Genocide.

Genocide, Genocide
Remember the day?
Hitler murdering
Ovens burning
Millions dying
People crying
It's coming this way

What can we do
It's not in our hands.
Turn to God
Obey His commands.

Give him your heart
In Him confide.
Pray for His love
Before Genocide.

Innocent blood cries
Out from the dead
Stop everything
Listen instead
Time's running out
Slaves we'll become
Marching to the beat
Of a tyrants's drum

Genocide, Genocide
It's coming this way
People turning
Faith burning
Knees bending
Fear ending
It's happening


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Originally Posted by "Tampa Stan" Good
Hi Big Bro Bri...think I'll Give It a Try...(Since I can't Get Shut-Eye..heh!)

"WOMEN ARE STRANGE" (C) 2013 by Stan Good, BMI {Just Add Music..} ;-)>

WOMEN ARE STRANGE
Most Playin' a Game
T'Get You All-Inflamed
So You will Change-Their-Name

Yeah, WOMEN ARE STRANGE
With their Pastel-Brains
& Little Boutique Chains
So Many ALL-The-SAME...

BUT...You're UNIQUE
No Game of Hide-&-Seek
MORE than a Peck-On-The-Cheek
{WHISPERED}
AND You Got a GREAT Physique

AND What a Perfect-Mind
With..A Great Behind
(When it's Lovin'-Time
You ARE The Lovin'-Kind!)

Tho..MOST WOMEN ARE STRANGE
They Try to Rearrange
All Their Boyfriends' Brains
Won't Leave-'Em As-They-Came

No..They Tear 'Em All-Apart
Broken Minds..& Hearts
Clueless, In-The-Dark
When The Rejection Starts...

But...You're UNIQUE
You Make My Life Complete
Get My Heart Off-The-Street
Hey, It Lands..At-Your-Feet

I Like The Way You Love
WAY-More than Just-Enough
You ARE All-The-Right-Stuff
(& Rarely-Ever Treat Me Rough)...

(TAG)
I'm So CONTENT..When You Treat Me..So TAME...
While I Find...
MOST WOMEN ARE STRANGE...

(All Rights Reserved.)



Hi Stan

Thanks for giving this a go --- I can follow along in a rapper style --- would love to hear it in Your voice... I know the way you type (Caps/small) you always think in terms of reflections in your vocal.... Give it a try if you Can to record it and share : )

jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
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Posts: 9,186
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Originally Posted by Summer Rose
I can't resist, trying a rap. This is not a popular subject, but it's supposed to be Christian Rap. Here goes, first attempt and it's for fun.

Genocide

Genocide, Genocide
Remember the day?
Hitler murdering
Ovens burning
Millions dying
People crying
It's coming this way

Promises are spoken
That hypnotize
Why can't we see
Through the disguise

Following as sheep
Through each day
Unaware of terror
Coming our way

Stuck with our heads
In material pride
Scales on our eyes
While freedoms slide

Black plastic caskets
Arranged side by side.
Red roses to bury us
In our own Genocide.

Genocide, Genocide
Remember the day?
Hitler murdering
Ovens burning
Millions dying
People crying
It's coming this way

What can we do
It's not in our hands.
Turn to God
Obey His commands.

Give him your heart
In Him confide.
Pray for His love
Before Genocide.

Innocent blood cries
Out from the dead
Stop everything
Listen instead
Time's running out
Slaves we'll become
Marching to the beat
Of a tyrants's drum

Genocide, Genocide
It's coming this way
People turning
Faith burning
Knees bending
Fear ending
It's happening




Hi Summer Rose

Thanks so much for sharing your lyrical rap -- Yes -- tough subject and reminder -- but in today's world of Terror Acts - we have examples of how it would still be possible, though I would hope not on such a tragic scale.

I'll say to you also - if you could record it to a beat --- please share that also.

jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
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Um, Well,
You ain't gonna believe this but you can, go, and listen to the first Rap song ever! Just Google, SOMKE, SMOKE, THAT CIGARETTE. By Tex Williams. You will see what I mean. And Intelligent too !


Ray E. Strode
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hi,this is mine. hope it comes out. Screwed Up

You know when things are bothering me
crazy stuff going round my head
you could help set me free
but you keep my head messed up instead
keep me under your thumb and keep me screwed up

(chorus)

Screwed Uo
the smoke, dope
a sting of tears in my eyes
is it real or this crystal meth
swirling round inside my mind
in the end who wins the prize
making waves,fades,craves,babes
like a snarling lion at my feet
kissy face with my back to the wall
you love to keep me Screwed up

You make me stand out in the rain
walk the streets till my feet swell
one car stops the smoke swirls again
damaged goods are hard to sell
you do whatever to keep me Screwed Up

chorus

my life seems its chasing me
no spare time to rest my bones
you too wont leave me be
speeding toward my own death zone
doing your best to keep me
Screwed Up

bridge

i left home years ago,too young to make it on my own,you took me in to show me what lifes about,when will it stop and let me off.

chorus

tag

I wish I knew where to go to get help to change my life, get a real job make myself proud of me,but you keep me isolated and keep my head screwed up

You love to keep me Screwed Up

written by glyn

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
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Originally Posted by Ray E. Strode
Um, Well,
You ain't gonna believe this but you can, go, and listen to the first Rap song ever! Just Google, SOMKE, SMOKE, THAT CIGARETTE. By Tex Williams. You will see what I mean. And Intelligent too !


I'll put the link here Ray -- good example ---!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La1hHUz4CTs

Can you write one too ? ; )

Thanks
jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

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Originally Posted by glynda
hi,this is mine. hope it comes out. Screwed Up

You know when things are bothering me
crazy stuff going round my head
you could help set me free
but you keep my head messed up instead
keep me under your thumb and keep me screwed up

(chorus)

Screwed Uo
the smoke, dope
a sting of tears in my eyes
is it real or this crystal meth
swirling round inside my mind
in the end who wins the prize
making waves,fades,craves,babes
like a snarling lion at my feet
kissy face with my back to the wall
you love to keep me Screwed up

You make me stand out in the rain
walk the streets till my feet swell
one car stops the smoke swirls again
damaged goods are hard to sell
you do whatever to keep me Screwed Up

chorus

my life seems its chasing me
no spare time to rest my bones
you too wont leave me be
speeding toward my own death zone
doing your best to keep me
Screwed Up

bridge

i left home years ago,too young to make it on my own,you took me in to show me what lifes about,when will it stop and let me off.

chorus

tag

I wish I knew where to go to get help to change my life, get a real job make myself proud of me,but you keep me isolated and keep my head screwed up

You love to keep me Screwed Up

written by glyn


Sounds Like a way cool deal o them words -- I hope you get someone to Rap onit !!

Thanks Glynda
jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

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This is my only attempt at rap that I had posted in the forums not long ago. As you can see I'm not much of a rapper.


Own Up

Can you live it down with all your living it up?
At home it's rough,
it's gettn tough,
you fool enough!
Your kids are hungry and sad
and starving for dad,
but you punk your drunk
and a pathetic mess.
Your ole lady is lonely;
if only you solely
suffered the pain of your rein of excess.

Own up
Man up
Grow up
Stand up
Put down your bottle and pick up your kids

Own up
Man up
Grow up
Stand up
Kiss your woman goodnight and your drinkin goodbye

Does your conscience prick you like the needle that sticks you?
Your kids' skip school,
Your rents still due,
Wake up you damn fool!
It's your family who pays
for your partying ways,
but it's drugs and thugs
where your allegiance is kept.
Your ole lady cries
but it's no surprise
you're too high to see that she's wept.

Own up
Man up
Grow up
Stand up
Put down your syringe and pick up your kids

Own up
Man up
Grow up
Stand up
Pull the needle out; take your woman in your arms

Own up
Man up
Grow up
Stand up

Own up
Man up
Grow up
Stand up

© L. James Tanner

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Good to see many of you spreading your wings a bit...

Who else wants to step up? How about some rappers?

Brian


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
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"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney

"It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney

"Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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OK, I'm no rapper, I'm more of a ballad/jazz/blues guy. Recently, however, I heard a musical piece (piano with a techno beat) on Ohm Studio, and it "slapped me upside the head yo"! Seriously, this one was BEGGING for a rap lyric, so I jumped on it. This one is called "The Downtown Run", a tale of a thug who rides the subways and robs/kills victims. I hope you'll give it a listen on Soundcloud to really get a feel for it. The chorus is particularly interesting with a "falsetto" voice in the left channel and a female italian vocal in the right.....Enjoy!


The Downtown Run
Copyright 2013 Chris Munson

Verse 1

Riding on the train,
thinkin' of the day,
that I left behind,
Wait! Never mind!

Second stop ahead
Watching all the dead
Standing there,
with the Droids in their hands,
and they gotta phone home

Gotta phone home,
But nobody's there,
So they all alone,
All alone,
Unknown, in a dead zone

Exit on the walk,
Hearing all the talk,
From the people there,
Life, it isn't fair

Businessman with his Rolex
gleaming in the sun,
Gotta have some fun,
Gotta have some.....fun.....

On The Downtown Run...
I got my hatin'
and the platin'
on my nickel silver gun....

It's just another one,
Another killin'
in the midday sun


Chorus

So many people are dying for nothing,
what can we do?
Because of people who've lost,
their way......


(Music Interlude)


Verse 2


Now's another day,
nobody in my way,
in the last line,
and I'm feeling fine;

Bum in the rear seat,
Looking pretty beat,
and he's hopped up,
on Ripple wine....

Hop, hop, hop, ripple...
De-grees of the day are going triple...

Up ahead, old lady there,
trying not to stare,
like my head's wrapped,
In underwear

I'm looking at her purse
With the clasp undone
Gonna have some fun,
Gonna have some.....fun.....

On The Downtown Run...
I got my hatin'
and the platin'
on my nickel silver gun....

It's just another one,
Another wasted
in the afternoon sun

Chorus

So many people are dying for nothing,
what can we do?
Because of people who've lost,
their way......


(Music Interlude)


On The Downtown Run
It's where I'm gonna,
Where I'm gonna,
Have my fun,
I'm on it, I'm on it, I'm on it,
The Downtown Run

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How's this grab ya?

We True Blue

We fixin and mixin
like watergate Nixon
we move and we groove
all eyes on the vixen

She playin and layin
that dog i'm just sayin
betrayin my homey
the devil he tole me

I cant let it happen
that chick(edited) I be slappin
my brotha's at stake here
word up, a fake here

The chick hit the hood with no good and the pain
feedin off the bottom of the hard money chain
one good deed worthy of anotha
gonna rectify the situation for a brotha

cause we true
yea yea yea we true blue
like the colors of the flag red white and you
we true
the boys in the hood true blue

Gang bangin and hangin
the ghetto horn rangin
we know what we doin
get justice fo sho n'

The homey and me
weze got mad history
deepa than the green
of the body bag sea

He jump in fronna bullets
like a superman
show the street love
like no other can

The chit hits the fan, hear my redemption call
might make a TV Movie check it out yu'all
love's hit and miss but I promise you this
ya like to roll dice but I hold all the chips

and we true
yea yea yea we true blue
like the colors of the flag red white and you
we true
the boys in the hood true blue

Last edited by Bugsey; 08/20/13 05:28 PM.
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Look Who's Rappin', Now

white people rappin,
like nails on a chalboard scratchin'
ain't no matchin'
a thatch house flappin
in the hood,
thugs buggin
in the jungle
huggin mama
slangin wood
it's all good
til whitey raps,
wearin chaps
swearin every word
an' mamas gonna
bitch slap,
the ding bat,
make a slip-knot
for a coat rack,
cause hip hop
aint a white prop
it's a black thing
grape soda pop
and ham hocks
and big guns
got no stocks,
not disney land
or the boondocks
it's the jungle,
m%^$%#$ f^%$%#$
we ooze glocks,
shoot cops
and take aim,
snowflake,
m*&^%^ f^%$%&^
playin our game
its our way
everyday
we rap the life
we live,
rip the crap
that doesnt give a damn
with who i am,
how I stand,
how I rap
when it's me
who's trapped
and yet you rip,
now who's trippin
look who's scratchin,
n&^%$'s laughin,
look who's rappin
now.






Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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This is one I WISH I HADN'T PENNED, but I did--I learned a lot from the attempt--Since doing this song, my timing has improved somewhat-I never really fine-tuned it! LEND AN EAR IF YOU DARE! That's me with my PENATONIC-TELE compin' throughout--WELL ……….**#EEOOO…...WOW#**

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11500285

DOWN IN THE HOOD
© MACKIE HUMPHRIES

V1
SETTIN’ A TRAP FOR VISITIN’ CATS
SOME WILL GET SHOT IF THEY DO THAT
EVERYBODY KNOWS WE GOT LOOKERS
MR. HI-DOLLAR COMES TO SHAKE ‘ER
............MR. HI-DOLLAR.........

V2
FUZZ’S HERE TO DO THEIR STING
GOTTA TO PLAY COOL ROLL WITH THE GREEN
HAVE TO SURVIVE AND NOBODY SINGS
WORKIN‘ DOWN HERE ...DOING OUR THING.
.......WE’RE DOING OUR THING......

CH
WE’RE ALL KIN... HERE IN THE HOOD
EVERYTHING’S SMOOTH ...AND GOING GOOD
FLASHIN’ BLUE LIGHTS ...OUR PROTECTION
WE KEEP ‘EM SMILIN’ ...WITH SATISFACTION
DOWN IN THE HOOD
DOWN IN THE HOOD
DOWN IN THE HOOD

PLAY ON NOW............. SOLO..........

BR
SOME BAD DUDES SLIP IN AND OUT
ANY BAD VIBES AND WE GONNA SHOUT
HERE IN THE HOOD WE’ AIN’T ALONE.
.....NO WE’ AIN’T ALONE........

CH
WE’RE ALL KIN... HERE IN THE HOOD
EVERYTHING’S SMOOTH ...AND GOING GOOD
FLASHIN’ BLUE LIGHTS ...OUR PROTECTION
WE KEEP ‘EM SMILIN’ ...WITH SATISFACTION
DOWN IN THE HOOD
DOWN IN THE HOOD
DOWN IN THE HOOD

OUTRO
WE’RE ALL KIN......... HERE IN THE HOOD
EVERYTHING’S SMOOTH ......AND GOING GOOD
DOWN IN THE HOOD
DOWN IN THE HOOD
DOWN IN THE HOOD.............


Mackie

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Posts: 5,827
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Hey All,

I know it's meant to be a challenge thread, but just wanted to give a thumbs up to a musical bud SweetP who has a positive message with his genre. Intelligent rap ? Yep, I think so, and great visual production from a small budget shoot, so just would like to put forward a very well written and produced piece.... in support of broadening the audience.

"Change Today" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXR6G9dsi58

cheers, niteshift

PS - and the song has only 200 views ? HUH ???!!! *shrugs*

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Posts: 924
Originally Posted by niteshift
Hey All,

I know it's meant to be a challenge thread, but just wanted to give a thumbs up to a musical bud SweetP who has a positive message with his genre. Intelligent rap ? Yep, I think so, and great visual production from a small budget shoot, so just would like to put forward a very well written and produced piece.... in support of broadening the audience.

"Change Today" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXR6G9dsi58

cheers, niteshift

PS - and the song has only 200 views ? HUH ???!!! *shrugs*


You're right, this vid needs more likes. Rap with a positive message is the only rap I will listen to

Last edited by L. James Tanner; 11/22/13 01:39 PM.

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