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#1171670 - 11/26/20 01:38 PM
Re: Once
[Re: Travis david]
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,079
IronKnee
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,079
Hawaii
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Hi Tom,
This is a passionate song delivery for sure, and I like the simplicity with just guitar. I could see some background building strings to empower the emotion midway through the song should you want to continue production.
I like the melody and reflective theme. IMO, I think you could offer a hint of background story rather than the two metaphors together. I get the "mountains high" but not crazy about the "blue sky" line. It rhymes, but I think the first metaphor makes a great statement that needs "modified" with a hint of story, rather than just rhymed. There's not much other opportunity otherwise. "Story," even though perhaps fragmented, creates interest and listener ability to relate to your song's expression etc. Keep or sweep.
Nice work, I enjoyed your write!
steady-eddie Hey thanks Eddie..........The whole "..Mountains high against the vast blue sky?" is just another way of saying who makes mountains out of mole hills?" I appreciate the comments, and thanks soooo much for listening. Have a great Thanksgiving!! Nice one Tom Love that guitar picking and your vocal is great as usual  I would have went with "What Kind of Man Am I?" as the title/hook and leave the "fool" bit out but what do I know? Anyway?  Enjoyed the listen Paul Hi Paul....I hear ya, but "Once" was the bell ringer for me....."Once" is not the obvious choice, but it's the one that seemed too compelling to pass up. And as far as "fool"................that word embodies the selfish actions of the singer / performer. Happy Thanksgiving, Paul........and thanks soooooo much for your listening and comments!! An impassioned song good lyrically. I think also the guitar and vocal were equally good. Sad Tom but a fine folk song in the best tradition John
Thanks you, Travis.......I always appreciate you listening and commenting. It's all we got, and it's nice that you take the time. Have a great and wonderful Thanksgiving! And thanks to all who have listened! -Tom
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